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Pattaya - Again And The Man with the Big Gun
Feb28th - March 1st
So here we are back again, where the food is great, the sea is warm and the women are gorgeous.
Not much new to report that can make it in to this highly edited blog........
we hired a couple of scooters for the day in the hope we were going to find some litte bar hidden away with the cheapest beer in Pataya. After a couple of hours riding round in the roasting sun we stopped off for a beer..well actually a few.
Hello, personality change........ Jonnie was now a combination of a Hell's Angel and Evel Knievel (Before he died). I was getting a bit worried about him, but as it happened it was me that went down the one way street the wrong way and nearly ran over the policeman.
"are you sure he is a copper Jonnie?" i said as he snatched the keys out of the bike.
"Andy, just take a good look at his gun!" shouts Jonnie.
"Are we in trouble then?" (I was hammered as it happens)
Jonnie just shook his head.
But after lots of confusion as to if we had to go to the police station and the fact that we did not have enough money on us to pay the fine, and no driving license, no documents etc etc luckily someone else came down the wrong way as well and distracted him, so he took everything we had and went after his next bribe/fine.
Well after that we needed a beer to calm our nerves i can tell you.
4 days of non stop boozing and partying. went to see a "show" that involved ping pong balls and darts beeing fired, but let's say it was not a family event.
met a couple of girls and we got a taxi down to the island of Koh Samet and in true economy rented our own speedboat for the afternoon to take us around the island which was unbelievable. (I think it still worked out cheaper than the "Charlie" incident)
we stopped to do some snorkelling, so jonnie took his kit off and the Bhudda was unleashed!!
(get it? - Jonnie is fat and bald. Actually all the Thai girls like to stroke his head for luck, it gets him all excited and his leg shakes like a dog when you tickle its belly)
He did his usual and did not see the coral rocks below and slashed his feet to ribbons.
I jumped in for a paddle and the girls thought it would be funny to throw a load of crisps around me. Yes it was funny till about 20,000 fish started heading towards me. I thought it was a piranha attack, they were everywhere. The worst of it was all the crisps where near my neck, so i could feel them all around my back and chest as they went for the food. Once again i had a video clip, so unless Dr Tuckie can come up trumps and work his magic on my memory card you will not be able to see it.
Mind you, like most of the things, you had to be there. I am sure you have all seen a fish before.
I have always wanted to try one of those banana boats that you see on holiday hurtling around the bay and everyone falling off and having fun, so we pulled in at a hotel on stilts and borrowed one and strapped it on to the speed boat and off we went.
Yea right. Fun?
i don't think so.
I hit the water so hard it felt like being hit with a baseball bat, and i swallowed about a gallon of water.
Buddha hit the water so hard he split his life jacket.
next installment.............Andy and Jonnie the chippendales
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