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Carry on up the Yangtse
As the dam tour went on, and the lack of English stayed at almost 100% i knew i was never going to get a bus from the dam to the boat...........
especially when we got back to the coach park in the dark, in the middle of nowhere, and ours was the only coach left.
Now correct me if i am wrong, but the word "transfer" normally involves the plural of coaches.???
i rang the woman from the tour company and put her on to the tour guide. Within seconds of speaking to her, she looked at me in horror and started crying.
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Then people started getting off the bus wanting to know why we had not left yet, and she cried some more. Then the coach driver got off and shouted some more at her.
And then she started bawling.
Poor thing i felt so sorry for her. luckily a girl spoke some english (well fit as well) and said that the tour guide had been stitched up, and all she could do is get me a very expensive taxi.
By now everyone was off the coach giving me daggers and pointing to their watches, so the taxi was ordered post haste, but to be fair she made them all wait til the taxi turned up for me.
I had come to travel in order to relax from the pressures of working, but my blood pressure was at bursting point. I thought if this taxi knows where he is going it will be a miracle.
About half an hour later we arrive at what look likes some sort of terminal, so i call the boat tour guide to find out that she speaks no english.
this place has about 8 terminals and was swimming with people, all chinese by the way, i was the only westerner.
I realised that the boat was not going to be full of people from Bolton who i could share a beer with for 3 days, and get a full English breakfast.
Luckily the travel agent was still answering her phone, and as much as i wanted to scream at her i explained my predicament, and hoped she understood, as her english was very poor.
Amazingly 10 minutes later this girl comes to me and says she speaks little english but she is from another company that sells tickets on the boat and she will help me.
so the gates open and it is like the bull run at Pamplona.
There is shouting and arguing and pushing and shoving, and i am used to it by now that that is just their way, but still worried i have not seen a boat yet, and worried more that there is no going back and that this is for 3 days.
more fighting and shouting as everyone stampedes as if the rain has started and this is Noah's Ark and there are only 2 seats left.
I find my room and it stinks of exhaust fumes, and is very very basic.
Then a family come in, point to my bag that is on my bunk and start arguing.
Then another 3 people come in to the tiny room and argue with the other family, and then the stewardess comes in and starts arguing with the lot of them as i just stood in the corner speachless.
after much shouting, 5 of us remain with only 4 beds.........bit like the scene from titanic where jack has to stay with the irish all crammed in all hanging off the ceiling and crammed all over the floor, only without the irish music and the barn dancing and a diddelldeedee.
and no english.
it is going to be long 3 days i am thinking as i open my packet of vacuum packed meat sticks wandering what animal and what part of that animal it is i am actually eating.
I went for a wander and noticed that they were putting blankets and pillows on the floor in front of the fire escapes, and in a couple of the rooms. Yes this baby was well over booked, just like everything else in China, but they all just muck in and get on with it, and they all talk to each other. A world of difference to back home.
Apparently you have to pay to go on the top deck room, and my ticket does not cover it, what a suprise. So i pay the one off cost in return for the promise of the best views and unlimited tea, and it is basically a small room where they are all smoking and singing karaoke.
I do my best cup of tea Peter Kay Impression and get served .......a cup of hot water.
Must learn language basics next time i go somewhere for a few weeks, i noted to myself.
I then spied a chiller cabinet with some tsingtao beer in, so thought i would reward myself with a nice cold glass of beer before finding out who was on the floor in the gas chamber of a room i was about to call home for 3 days.
shame the chiller cabinet was not switched on.
so a warm beer, and a perfect end to a perfect day. all i needed now was to find my bag in the hall, but luckily i had the top bunk. unluckily the fat woman below has the loudest snore i have ever heard in my life, even worse, and i never thought it possible, than jonnie norman. i have not slept properly for 3 days and this looks like number 4. still in the same clothes and no shower.
6am and the tannoy goes, and it looks like we are all getting up...........whether i want to or not.
Next installment..................Go to your room!!!
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