Hello there people,

It has been a very, very long time since our last blog so apologies all round. As you probably already know we have been in Brisbane for 6 weeks and working for the last 3 so we haven't really had time to do much apart from work, eat and sleep. Before I talk about the funny going's on, we just want to briefly describe our job and what it entails. Basically, the future generations of Australia are dependent on the 3 wise men as it's up to us to enter, invalidate and alter exam results - A rather tedious and uninspiring job but it pays handsomely! The only negative aspect of this job was the commute to the workplace. At the beginning it consisted of 15 minute walk to train station from our place of stay, 15 mins on train, 35 minute walk from train station to work and vice versa. It doesn't sound too bad but trust us, doing this at 12 at night in an area which is the equivalent to Aston and dodgy to say the least, the experience was not to be enjoyed. However, every cloud has a silver lining and our silver lining came in the form of two Gallic Madames - Noura (Nounou) and Aurora. They now take us to work, drive us back home from work for a derisory sum of $10 per week and culinary favours. It must be said that Christian cooks a mean Spagetti Bolognase ( Ward and Boob nod excitedly in approval)

Before we forget and on the subject of food, we were fortunate enough to be treated to some French delicacies; Crepes in fact. We had Crepes avec Goats Fromage (cheese) et Honey. Deuxieme, Crepes avec Poulet (chicken) et Oeuf (egg). Troisieme, Crepes avec Nutella (Nutella) et Strawberry. As you may already know, Wardy has a very sweet tooth when it comes to sweet delights so the Crepes did make James slightly moist in the pants area. Whilst James was experiencing his very own personal climax, Boob was staring into his plate contemplating and asking himself the question of 'Why would Liverpool spend 20 million English pounds on Jordan Henderson'?...Christian and Wardy deemed this a rhetorical question so did not answer.

Party at Mansion

Well, how do we begin, Christian's illustrious ways once again found him in the company of a female, an Aussie one at that with a friend who owns and lived in a $15 million!!! mansion. Low and behold, the 3 wise men plus Adam Stearne who we befriended in New Zealand descended upon the mansion after a 30 minute taxi ride to the outskirts of Brisbane. Wardy, Boob and Adam did not believe Christian when he said the party would be held at such a prestigious location but as soon as the taxi dropped us off, their doubt had completely dissapitated and their intrigue increase.Our memories of this night are slightly haphazrd due to the free bar where Boob and Adam demolished it by concocting and creating their own cocktails for theie fellow partygoers. Meanwhile, Wardy browsed through the 'Game room' and gorked at the endless amounts of DVD'S on show. (refer to Matador photo facebook.....Liam) Christian has memory loss but friends do recollect him being summoned to 'Daddys study for a talk'...make your own mind up readers. Below is a summary of the party and it's events:-

• Indulging on Turkish bread and loads of other buffet delicacies.
• Browsing through the mansion, most rooms had a theme. I.E. Master bedroom was 'Greek theme' Bathroom was 'Roman' and so on.
• Photographs of Katy Perry in the house a few days before we were there. TRUE STORY as Katy Perry was performing 2 shows in Brisbane the week of the orgy I mean party. ( It was a major shame we didn't have the chance to meet her and her adorable husband Russell Brand)

• Finally, as there were a bunch of Aussie's at the house, we made sure we found time to mock them, antagonise them and discuss at great lengths the Pro's and Con's of why England is far superior nation than Australia. The Aussie's came unstuck once Chewy decided to get involved and wreak havoc with his vast array of historical knowledge about both countries. The debate was long winded and ended without dispute or violence. Elsewhere, Wardy was kicking a ball against the outside wall in the hope of emulating Titus Bramble. Boob was too busy with Adam searching for any hidden treats - Daddy's $10,000 bottle of 1953 whiskey was all they could obtain.

Still, the mansion provided a rare chance for frivolities as low funding + work commitments forced the wise men to resort to the more simpler pleasures in life; films, reading novels and budget dining! Once work had started properly, a change of room was in store so as to obtain some proper rest so that we could be fully charged for our job. This meant leaving 3 friendly girls in our previous room to sharing each other's bodily warmth and fluids in a double bed of our own, plus 1. This would prove to be a further blessing as the temperature saw fit to plummet come June as winter hit!

Relegation D-Day

The nerves grew slowly throughout the week for wise man Chew. The optimism, the hopes and the mortal fears were all apparant but were just a taster of the dramatic rollercoaster he would face come survival sunday/monday morning for us. After drawing the entire hostel's attention to George, George, George Elokobi following his winner in the penultimate week, Chew knew he would have to express his joy and despair from within this time and refrain from screaming black man's names at 2am. This he would manage...just about, that was until a certain occurence later in the evening.

So it began, despair as the Old Gold fell 3 behind a rampant Blackburn side before halftime, coupled with Ian c*** ng Holloway's Blackpool fending of Man Utd and of course the always predictably s*** but lucky Blues holding Spurs meant things looked bleaker than ever in the lives of Mick's Mighty men.

2ND HALF!!

As Utd sorted themselves out and Wolves got on the scoresheet hope was rekindled but remained smothered by the everpresent black cloud of Birmingham s***ty who would then seemingly shatter the dreams of 99.9% of the country by taking the lead, Wigan once again were finding ways to survive. This left Wolves looking up a massive mountain of s*** requiring a massive loo roll and swing all around. As if written by the God's of Football the goods fell into place piece by ecstatic piece. Chew, boring a whole through the BBC sport live text page whilst sweating and twitching profusely, finally took a stuttering breath and lost all semblance of himself with the joy of the moment. As the final table updated with Blackpool and Blues down :) :) :) :) the joy was almost indescribable with emotional phonecalls to family, instant facebook abuse to the Bluesnoses and lots of Bum slapping all round. A great evening for Wolves, a great evening for the 3 wise men and a great night for the purity of Football. And yesssssss Villa beat Liverpool which was good for them, that won't happen next year with Jordan Henderson and Charlie Adam at Anfield of course. Extra satisfying for Ward though as Villa claimed a unpredicted ( at least a few weeks ago) top half finish.