To those who not know me I am Dave. I am also sometimes referred to as '5 pies', '12 ribs' or 'Big Chang' - amongst other things. I am a long time friend of Matt's and now a pal of Isobel's as well (though some of the Bangkok locals refer to me as Belle's 2nd boyfriend). Matthew kindly honoured me with an invitation to write a guest blog of my recent 2 weeks in Thailand. Whether he expected me to actually do it or not, who knows! You will soon learn that I am not much of a writer. However, I will do my best to piece together my vague recollections of my 2 week trip. This may be a bit of a struggle as I have been back in Blighty for a little while. You are not here to read about me, so I will keep it about Matt and Belle (now referred to as 'Mel' to save time and space) as much as possible. 10th - nothing! It probably wasn't actually an uneventful day per se…..it is just that I did not arrive. At some point mid afternoon (GMT/BST) I, whilst packing at my home in London, received a phone call from Belle. B: "Where are you?" D: "Where am I?" B: "Yes, where are you? We are at the end of the road waiting for you" D: "Belle I am at home - I fly tonight!" B: "No, you fly the 9th and land the 10th" D: "No no, I fly the 10th and land the 11th". B: "Oh you idiot. See you tomorrow." (1 hour of me panicking that I had missed my flight then followed). As funny as this was, Matty and Belle had been waiting at the end of the road for me for 2 hours. - in the rain, with a bag full of beers. For this I love them a little more than I already did. However, I feel it is worth noting that I did not receive the same welcome party when I actually arrived 24 hours later. 11th I actually did arrive. After a 45 minute hair raising taxi ride from the airport, I finally arrived at the Merry V Hostel. That night we headed out with a couple of friends that 'Mel' had met in a previous location. The intention was to have a quiet evening with a few of the local beers - "Chang". Not long later we found ourselves singing along to some Oasis, thanks to the local landlady who immediately put Oasis on whenever she saw Matt (not because he looks like a Manc #$*!, because he had requested it previously). 12th

Up for a 7 am pick up. In traditional Thai style this was pretty late. The day, whilst incorporating a few pit stops, primarily consisted of sitting in a minibus. First stop was the floating markets. These were ok, but the consensus was we could take them or leave them. Whilst there I suddenly realised my head was a little fragile. "How strong are those Changs Matt?" "6.4% mate". "Crikey, no wonder I have a headache!" After some more minibus action it was onto the bridge over the river Kwai. To use some of Matt's descriptive prowess I would say this was pretty "bridge like". There was also a fairly poor excuse for a museum, but we were not there long before we were herded back onto the minibus. Eventually we arrived at our final destination, which definitely saved the day for everyone - the Tiger Monastery. The debate could go on forever about whether the tigers are drugged or not - either way it was an awesome experience being able to stroke Shere Khan. Better still, we found the campest monk in the world! This guy was pretty much Graham Norton in an orange robe. When asked how long he would be a monk for (he was new to the game), he replied: "Well maybe 7 years. If not 7 years then the rest of my life". Very strange chap - and clearly not that dedicated to Buddhism! Later that day, after a good few hours back in the minibus, some more Chang was procured. Not long later we located a street stall selling various deep fried delicacies. I started on the crickets, progressed through various grubs etc, and washed the lot down with a whole frog and a tasty scorpion. Matt claims he ate some - if he did the most he had was a cricket's toe. Belle didn't seem very hungry! 13th

This involved a fairly hung-over stroll around town. We discovered that spicy chicken noodle soup is a brilliant hangover cure, before all sitting down for a 'fish spa'. A vary strange experience of letting fish munch on your feet for 20 minutes. Matt and I grew to quite like it - not sure Belle was quite so keen. That evening we boarded an overnight bus to take us down South. 14th

A nice bus but not the easiest thing to try and sleep on. We got dropped off in the middle of nowhere where we had to wait a few hours for another bus to pick us up - it didn't really make much sense to us either. Myself and Matt (known to the locals as Biggie and Tupac by this stage) were coerced into helping a local fill up his minibus with petrol. His tactic of shouting "YOU" and pointing at a huge jerry can was flawless. 5 minutes later both Matt and I were pretty much drenched in unleaded fuel….not ideal with a good lot of travelling left to do. We eventually got a ferry across to Koh Phangan where we settled in for a bit of spider bashing and beach Olympics. 15th We popped to the beach ( a fair distance away) on our hired 'hogs' (mopeds) and dropped Belle off with the others (a group of people staying with us that Mel had met previously). With everyone else drinking we didn't stick around too long. We opted to depart and do about 3 laps of the Island before finding our way home. We may well have missed our turn whilst being chased by a pack of rabid wild dogs! Fun was had by all. 16th - full moon party

More moped adventures and beach/swimming pool action during the day. Next came the full moon party. It started with me nearly going up in smoke when a fire dancer/thrower got a bit carried away and landed his prop on my shoulder. An entertaining experience in all, with around 20,000 people partying on one beach. I think we were by far the most sober people in attendance. 17th

Mainly a day of recovery after getting home around 9 am. Down to the beach/pool for some laziness and serious sunburn. 18th - 21st We were up early on the 18th and onto our next Island, Koh Samui. We booked into a small resort recommended by people on Koh Panyang. I think they talked the place up a little too much, but we were all relieved to have some air conditioning at last. A couple of days followed of mainly relaxing by the pool, drinking Chang and doing some shopping etc. Matt and I did our best to break the world record of heading a football backwards and forwards in a pool. If the previous record was less than 42 then please put your hands together for the new world record holders. Belle went and got herself a shiny new tattoo. Just a small one with the traditional bamboo method (the painful method by the look on her face throughout) - great picture that one Belle! Things took a strange turn when we visited the local freak show one evening. This was actually a 'ladyboy cabaret'. It is fair to say that Matt and Belle enjoyed it more than I did. 21st

We departed for our 3rd and final Island, Koh Tao. This was probably the best place that I visited whilst in Thailand. On the way in the ferry passed postcard scene after postcard scene - the island was full of deserted paradise beaches. Unfortunately we only had 2 nights on this Island so did not manage to explore as much as we would have liked. However, we entertained ourselves sufficiently on the best beach of all 3 islands. Inevitably I got pretty sunburnt again.
After a ridiculously painful Thai massage and some amazing bbq food at a beach side restaurant, we spent our last evening slurping a few more cold ones on the beach. The next day we all travelled back to the mainland where I got a train North and Mel headed South to continue their adventure. That pretty much summarises Bangkok and the Islands. I would add some pictures if I was a little more computer literate. This just leaves me to say a massive thanks to Matt and Belle. I had an awesome couple of weeks and can't wait to see you kids again at Christmas. You never know, one of you may have even picked up a tan by then!! X