Well I should have done this years ago... I guess having an online diary would have made things much easier to keep track of.. then maybe I would have always been in the knowledge that the things that have happened over the last few years have really happened..does that make sense? I feel this is a question that may be asked quite frequently though out my blogs.

I dont really know where to start, I suppose I should start from now and learn not to look back but I want to try and log some of my experiences in London and in New York so if you can keep up with my flitting from country to country then congrats-I cant and I'm actually living this!

So, here I am, on a Friday afternoon sitting in front of the tv in my apt on Beaconsfield Parade in St Kilda thinking about what I want to say. So much has happened over the last few days, let alone weeks, let alone months that I guess I've never been able to find the energy to write about stuff but now feels like the right time. I dont know why.

BTW punctuation / language/ spelling aren't gonna be a huge point of interest in my writing-I write before I think so its probably good my thought processes dont correspond as I'd be losing the plot right now..... wait?.... Ruth dont get your red pen to mark my commas! :o)

ANYWAY!... I've had a strange week. Great week, interesting week, stressfull week, fun week. All in one. Starting with Monday and my casting. So I get there to meet Lou Mitchell and the director of City Homicide for a "meeting" only to be given a script by the casting diretor. I dint have a chance to get nervous and as everyone who may possibly be reading this already knows beacuse I've been shouting it from the rooftops ever since.. I got the job! Its been such a long time coming and I cant explain the feeling when my agent called me with the news.. so its not a huge role, its not a major thing, but for someone who has been struggling and working there arse off to get a little bit of "yes-you CAN act, its not a figmant of your imagination" its HUGE thing. I doubt myself quite frequently. I find myself getting up at some ridiculous hour to go and do promo work (for the 10 millionth time) and suddenly I'll be in the shower and think "what the hell are you doing?" You just upped and left London for what? on a whim? probabaly yeah and then the adventurous side in me comes back and I think, "what the hell!" it doesnt matter you are living here and living life and SOMETIMES! even going for castings! which is what i've wanted for so long.. so have i now got what i want or am i just in this ever go round cycle of hoping for the next best thing to happen? not that this has anything to do with what i was saying but anyway... yes I doubt myself and yes! I was so happy to get this part!

The next day I wake up to someone pouring razorblades down my throat whilst pulling my arms, legs and back in every which way possible and then forcing me to go on a 20k (i'm SO australian already!haha) run.. well not quite but thats what I felt must have happened in the night because I hurt. Lots! and now the doc thinks I have glandular fever, wtf?! I dont, I'm sure of it.. well (theres that not so sure bit again) but I'm pretty sure its just tiredness and a virus.. so after that I slept for the week. pretty much... in between more pointless but more familiar promotions..(Toyota promos haunt me but I cant stay away, its an illness, maybe i should the doc about that instead?) Last night I went for dinner with a boy! yes ladies and gentleman I do have a life outside of promo world! (just noticed its raining outside-do you feel closer to me people of the UK? ;o)... sorry back to the boy.. and it was nice. hes nice... but you know me... hes nice so better not go there.. again its an illness, god this docs gonna be busy! Anyway!.. now I have had another day off work -its now absolutely tipping down, great Aussie weather, this wasnt the deal people!!-and its a bit of a shock to the system beacuse I feel guilty, I mean its ridiculous, why do I feel guilty? I mean I started work 6 days after landing in the country, again its an ilness... not sure that docs gonna have time for this, maybe need to see a specialist. So for the rest of the weekend-tomorrow its "the boys" birthday party-now for people who know me well, I dont mean "the boy" it just happens that they are having birthday parties on the same day, to some of you you will be saying who the hell is this girl and please remind me to stay away from her ;o) but for others of you you will be going "I know excatly what she means".. now THIS ONE really is an illness but I think its beyond help. I know I know, get over it! ANYWAY! so yeah I have this birthday party and then on Sunday I am going to a vineyard or 4 with a guy from Manchester and his friends. I like wine but I definately dont pretend to know anything about it so I'm hoping I come out with a little bit more knowledge and a little bit more of an alcoholic. Its a good job my girlies aren't here to share this with me actually because we would be crawling by the end of it.. you know who I'm talking about.. SAMMY and NIKNEE! HAHAHAHA

Anyway, I promise not all my weeks will be this long but I felt I had lots to say this week and havent even said half of what goes on it my head but its a start. I miss everyone so much, miss being able to call when good or bad things happen or just to have a chat or a moan or a cry, and I miss my friends and families common sense when I'm being dramatic and not handling stress and just having mum there to talk to.. or being there for her. . but this is good for me and I'm the happiest I've been in a while I think... who knows.... maybe this is my therapy.. who needs that doc!