Profile
Blog
Photos
Videos
Las Aventuras de una volcandiosa.
Typhoid Indigestion, With thanks to Jonathon Safran Foer.
Yes, I'm updating my journal yet again, not even having left yet. Can you tell I'm excited?
We all know I'm familar with many types of indigestion. Ate-too-much indigestion, Vodka-indigestion, Drank-some-water indigestion, Walked-across-the-street indigestion, as well as Heard-about-Amy-walking-around-carrying-powdered lemonade-and Razzamatazz-after-a-long-night-drinking indigestion. Well, in the prep for my trip, I think I have found the most unpleasant form I've ever experienced: typhoid indigestion.
So the typhoid vaccine is an oral one; you need to take it on an empty stomach and be very careful not to kill the live, active typhoid cultures. Think yoghurt, only involving deadly disease. You can't drink any hot liquids or drink alcohol, or you'll kill the millions of little baby typhoids you are injecting into your system. The vaccine runs four pills, one every other night.
Night number one was the worst. Immediately upon taking the pill, I could feel the little b*****s running all through my veins. My heart rate increased. I started sweating. I was exhausted but couldn't sleep. I waited the requisit hour, then ate some bread and honey, trying to drown any cultures remaining in my stomach with the sweet vomit of bees. I still couldn't sleep for about three hours afterwards. The second night was a little better, but the next morning was awful. I got hiccups. Yes, typhoid hiccups. Each hiccup tasted like a strong and disruptive virus was running around my system. Oh yes, BECAUSE IT WAS. What does typhoid taste like, you ask? Think metallic blood, dirt, and typhoid. Hiccup! Blood. Hiccup! Metal. Hiccup! LIVE ACTIVE TYPHOID CULTURES.
Obviously it will be worthwhile when I don't get typhoid. But those negative rewards are so hard to appreciate. I think somebody should send me a candy bar.
- comments