So here we are the last blog of the trip. Khao Lak is described as a piece of paradise on earth. Now as you know I don't do the whole paradise thing but I get the idea.
The locals will tell you there is nothing to do in Khao Lak. It's sea, sand, swim and relax.
As I said before the room we have is to die for. I thought I would finish my blogs with a little bit about our two weeks in the place where there is nothing to do.
Thailand is called the land of a thousand smiles. As with any generalisation it doesn't apply to all of them. The heat slows things down but some take it to extremes. Breakfast is an event. Like most hotels they have one of these silly bloody conveyor belt toasters. Every morning I have to put the toast through twice. While it's toasting I nip back to the room have another shave!!
Next we have a trainee tea and coffee pourer. It took him a week to realise he was allowed to smile. He had clearly completed module 1 of the waiter school. You know where they teach them to walk around a room and not see you gasping for a coffee.
It's a cultural thing we tell ourselves. It's the same at the pool bar. A group of waiters and waitresses all sit together chatting while you gasp for a beer. Then the boss turns up and it's action stations.
Then there's our room maid. She's sweet and she visits twice a day and brings biscuits but could she replace the shower gel? Jill placed the empty container on the bathroom floor as a hint so she put it neatly back in the tray aggghhhhhhhhhhhh.
Ok I said in my last blog that I'd bought a lilo. There is a story attached. While I was bartering for the lilo Jill threw a sarong into the mix. The bartering continued. Eventually we agree on a price. I hand over the cash and shop man puts the lilo in a bag.
'What about the sarong' says I. No, no you only pay for lilo. I am clearly being tucked up here. My natural instinct is to force feed him the lilo and recover my cash. However I'm sure when the Police arrive I will be at a slight disadvantage. What with him being a local and speaking the lingo to name just two reasons.
So off we go telling him he's a robbing little shyster. He of course has no idea what I've said but it made me feel better. We now have the most expensive lilo on earth.
Back at the villa I spend twenty red faced minutes blowing it up while Jill blows kisses and says how much she appreciates it. Once it's inflated I don't have the energy to get on it so I watch Jill enjoy it.
That night we take it from our private pool and leave it to dry on the deck.
Next day we are sunning ourselves and I decide to take a dip. 'Where's the lilo' I say to Jill. Would you Adam and Eve it someone's nicked it. Probably the little b****** who sold it to us.
Anyway as luck would have it another lilo appeared out the front on the beach. It sat for two days and the breeze moved it on to our lawn. I know two wrongs don't make a right but we agreed after much debate it had been abandoned and needed a home. Not as nice as our first one but a bloody sight cheaper!!!
We've been here a fortnight. We are on first name terms with a tailor. He is a nice chap from Pakistan who knew a chap from Thailand and decided to come here. I had an interesting chat while Jill was having a fitting for her suit. He wasn't very keen to chat about killing people who opposed the blasphemy laws but we did talk about marriage. He has decided recently that he would like a wife. Apparently there is a Muslim community about 35kms away. He plans soon to drive there and pick a bride. He is happy with an arranged marriage. Who knows our system isn't exactly foolproof.
At least 5 of the local bars don't bother bringing a drinks menu. 'Sawdee ka two long island ice tea' lots of giggling and off they run.
It's been a very fitting end to our trip. Tomorrow we are back to Bangkok before flying home on Monday. Kob Koon Krup to all who have followed us. We'll be home soon to bore you to death with photos and tall tales.