Profile
Blog
Photos
Videos
So after weeks of planning (outfits), preparing (outfits) and stressing (over outfits - and this is all BG, they really need to put girlfriend seats outside Zara changing rooms) we put on our fancy footwear flight attire (see profile pic) and boarded the plane to Bangkok. I managed to get a row of three to myself so was able to lie down and virtually sleep the whole way there. BG was not so lucky, having also bagged himself a row, he then caved when a random asked if she could share the row (she'd already asked me but I'd barked that someone was already sitting there, BG is sometimes too polite for his own good). He also had to contend with our air hostess who was the rarely seen mix of glamour WAG meets Estonian shot putting champion who, frankly, was terrifying. BG got quite the telling off at one point. Unfortunately there is no photographic evidence as we were both a little too scared to attempt to take a photo of her.
Landing in Bangkok really was quite a culture shock and thank goodness we were staying with a friend of BG, Paula and her boyfriend James who eased us in as gently as possible. Having got into a taxi with a driver who couldn't understand any English and hadn't brought his glasses so couldn't read the directions (why is it the stupid people are always drawn to me?) we seemed doomed. Paula and James really were the host and hostess with the most and mostess. If they were on Trip Advisor we would award five them 5 stars. Acting as 5* resort and dispensing travel advise, directions, maps and visual aid, daily itineraries and health advice to boot, frankly I wish they could stay one step ahead and host us for the next 6 months!
So day one, having successfully navigated the Bangkok tube and river ferry we head off to Wat Pho (a massive Buddha). Impressive but no Topshop flagship. There were however some bizarre stone statues that looked like the Thai version of Willy Wonka which I thought were pretty brilliant (not sure if that's what the stone mason had in mind). Also the place where Thai massage originated, we thought it was as good a time as any to over come my fear of being touched by randoms (wrong) and booked ourselves in for a massage, me feet (start small), BG full whack. Hmmmm. Not exactly relaxing. Our feet and bodies got prodded, poked (at times with what looked like a wooden spoon handle), bashed and contorted. At least the pain distracted me from the feeling of violation. So fear not completely overcome, not really that relaxing, but credit where credit's due, my sandals did up on two holes tighter once I put them back on which shows it did something.
We then walked past the Grand Palace and up to Khao San Road. Now one of the things I am really loving about Thailand is the prevalence of the colour pink. It really is everywhere. Pink cars, pink tuk tuks, pink motor bikes, push bikes and not just for girls either. We even saw some sort of army official (complete with gun) who would have been quite scary were it not for the fact that he was riding around on what looked like a ten year old girls bike. Brilliant.
So Khao San Road - predictable, grubby and too much tie-dye (but rather excellent cocktails) and then another walk to try to find the canal on which all the locals travel to and from work for a taste of the 'real' Bangkok. Having finally located the canal stop we made our way to the canal side to stand among at least fifty people (none of whom spoke English) and try to work out which boat we needed (timetable also lacking in the English department). Having finally found someone who vaguely understood what we were asking, pointed us in the direction of an oncoming canal boat. Now, I thought getting on and off the tube in rush hour was difficult. OMG. Easy bloody peasy in comparison to this. Here 'mind the gap' refers to the 30cm (or more) gap between the jetty and the boat down which lay a practically septic canal full of God knows what. No jostling to get onto a tube here, no, literally a leap of faith and desperate flailing and grabbing onto the rope 'handles' of the boat and swinging yourself under and onto the rough wooden benches. Did I mention that fifty other people are trying to do this at the same time and that the boat is definitely not big enough for everyone? A few strategically placed elbows later and me and BG are safely on; the next trial was to try to work out where to get off as none of the stops were named or got called out. And getting off was worse that getting on as it also required scrambling over the top of people (literally) who were in the way. Terrifying but brilliant in equal measure.
Heading to China Town (it seems there's one everywhere) in a Tuk Tuk (me screaming 'we're gonna die' the whole way there) we perused the streetfood stalls to choose an authentic Thai/Chinese supper. Food poisoning at the back of our minds, we headed for the busiest and perched on the corner of a massively busy street on makeshift tables and chairs. Not only was the food AMAZING (seafood noodles, the best we've ever had) but the stall seemed to be run by a matriarchal woman who had the people skills of the Hitler Youth which provided excellent entertainment throughout our meal. Having been passed orders by the waiters, shoes off, she barked (and this really is an accurate description) them down a doorbell receiver (plugged into the streetlamp) where, presumably the kitchen got cooking. Every time a waiter walked past with a dish they got a telling off regardless of whether they'd done anything wrong and we spent the whole meal expecting a telling off of our own. All in all, a great first day.
- comments
nat Very comical read Webber, brilliant! And great pics BG. I remember the river taxi's well and having to quickly jump across daring not to look down! You didn't mention the stinky spray when on the move - though perhaps you were lucky enough to get a seat in the middle of the boat. I remember that Singha beer, which features in a pic. Have an amazing time guys and keep reminding me about this blog!
Laura Please make sure you taste a banana pancake and visit a ping pong show :)
Della Enjoying the blog Sarah, I look forward to the next adventure. Loving the shots of your travelling outfits too! x
Karen Thomson Love it! You're so funny! xxxxxx
Lisa S Sarah - that made me laugh out loud at my desk, which is no mean feat for a Wednesday morning (or any morning now i come to think of it). Thank you. Looking forward to the next installment. Lisa xx
Simon Wakefield Very funny Sass, good photos Macca. We went to see Wat Pho and so pleased he's not a Topshop flagship. Any photos of Macca in the leopard print??
Jill Loving it & loving you. x
Sam Hey,....sounds such fun (but very scary!). Love the pics, Mart especially the food ones! Just returned from the States so can now fully follow your progress....keep on blogging! xxx
Paula Love this - and you were the guests with the bests! You're welcome any time you need a 5* stop over xx
Amy Very impressed that you submitted to a massage Sass. Next you'll be talking to strangers! Loving hearing about bangkok - keep up the good work xxx
Liza Sarah - loving the commentary - looking forward to the next one... Wonder if Asia knows what it has let itself in for??