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26/4/2011
Woke up to a beautiful day with panoramic mountain views following a deep sleep all night and not being woken up by the schoolgirl singing on the tannoy in the early hours of the morning.
Kicked off with eggs on toast and a cup of tea (I'm definitely sold now), only to realise the waiter had 6 fingers! Wrong Turn-esq! He wasn't weird or anything, he just simply had an extra finger protruding out of his little one and it had a nail on it! I noticed when he was pouring our tea and I immediately put down my food and tried to disguis myself from staring! When he walked away, I let the others in what I had seen and they couldn't believe it. Wilf's response was: "No wonder they've got so many good spin bowlers!"
We went on a hike up Little Adam's Peak on what was a pleasant walk up through the hills and tea plantations seeing the pickers hard at work. We stormed to the top via a group of Israelis that Jack again got his hair off with! We had our shirts off because of the heat and one fat guy asked Jack if he'd left his shirt behind. So we trudged back past them sweating and getting right in this guy's grill yelling: "Glad I haven't got my shirt on", leaving chubby and his pals behind.
At the top of the hill we steamed across to another one where we performed the Patrick Burt special with our pants down overlooking magnificent views - only for Tracy, Wilf and some random hippy stoners to see our bare behinds from the distance.
On the way down we hunted for snakes in a logpile but only came across some centipede! Half way back down the hill was a group of youngsters playng cricket in a flat square between the tea plantations on a steep hill. Me and Wilf decided to get involved!
There were lots of rules they enforced to prevent losing their ball so we basically had to hit cover drives or defend! Was difficult! My team won all three matches, though my batting was much to be desired! I caressed a four to win one game for my team but couldn't score any thereafter because a Murali-esq spinner kept bouncing it on the leg leaving you in an impossible position to slap him through the off-side! I did manage to chip in with some catches, some decent shots and filthy spin and pace bowling though. The key to this little game was bowling pacey-short balls as it made it difficult to score. Anything full and a little on the off would be punished!
Wilf had a good go, but I had to catch my fellow Brit for the team!
The boys all got very serious if there was something to debate, they're just as competitive as the Indians, but me and Wilf just laughed. What we had to remember though was that this was probably the only cricket they play so it might be the only chance they get to be competitive and have fun at the same time. The group got in some photos, think they loved it!
We promised after they had asked that we would give them some money for a ball so a couple walked back with us to meet Jack and Tracy. I learnt how the Tamils (Southern Indians living in Sri Lanka) follow India and the Singalese obviously support Sri Lanka. I was trying to tell the Tamils that if they live in Sri Lanka their whole lives and call it their home, they should support Sri Lanka as India has enough support! We gave them 100 rupees for a ball and then the one cheeky b***** asked for 200, and then 150! Wilf and I told them not to be so greedy, these boys are learning young about getting the most out of tourists and bartering for sure.
For lunch I treated the others (after they'd been so good to me all trip), and we enjoyed chicken curry, daal, rice, salad and poppadoms with a drink on a restaurant with a balcony. We later had a cafe stop before our ayurvedic massage.
It was an interesting experience to say the least! Getting ready, we had to wear some very feminine towels around our pubic region, with Wilf's glory falling out for show! Mine weren't far off! The massage was very sensual, had our joints clicked, muscles lathered and scalp fingered. The only downside was we had men and Tracy had a nice young girl! And my bloke's fingers stank of fags! When I opened my eyes all I could see was Jack's bare ass which was blatently going to get groped. I was expecting the same treatment.
All my guy did though was my legs and uncomfortably, and occassionally, whack my nutsack when going too far up! And he kept flicking up the towel to see my package! I wasn't liking that! It might have been more enjoyable if it was a girl, in fact, I'm 100 per cent sure it would have been better! I'd rather be picking up channel 9 whilst a girl massages me, than being shrivelled and feeling uncomfortable with some 20-a-day smoker rubbing my regions with his smelly mits! Admittedly though, I was giggling at Jack being rubbed and when my towel was up and I knew the pendulum was on show with the guy trying to cover it back up asap!
Saw a picture of some god on the wall or some famous, inspirational guy that looked like our South African friend Christo!
Bangers and mash for tea - but very different and delightfully put together! Tracy, Wilf and I shared a bottle of alcoholic 'Toddy', made from the sap of the trees (not sure which one banana I think but tastes nothing like it), and watched IPL before bed at Hotel Sky Green Resort.
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