When the truly horrible after-effects of the boat finally subsided we decided to man up and stop crying into our lattes. But to do this we first had to overcome some enormously irritating money difficulties, which in America felt like being trapped inside the Crystal Maze (but without Richard O'Brien guiding us while playing harmonica!). The upshot was not us collecting silver and gold foil in a faux crystal dome, but trying desperately to phone home (I bet E.T. didn't have the operator hang up on him repeatedly). When we finally got through to Trudy's mam, Trudy was so stressed and upset that she lost her voice like Titus the cat did years before. It all got sorted out in the end, but by the time it did one of us was already asking to see the prices of flights home - what a start!

The view of Manhattan at dusk from the Empire State Building observatory made us remove our heads from our posteriors and a plan of attack was formulated to paint the town red! For the anal completist in Tom, here's a list: St Patrick's Cathedral (where Tom fell asleep it was so riveting), New York Public Library; Wall Street; learnt how to play Beer Pong and Cup Flip (thank you Patrick and the purple dodgeball team); 9/11 Memorial; The Statue of Liberty & Ellis Island (Trudy instigated a national security alert when she took a photo of Tom's plastic security slippers and was ordered to delete the evidence); Radio City; Tompkins Square Park; Metropolitan Museum of Art (where we got shouted at again by security because Tom felt the need to touch a 3 thousand year old artefact - security backed down when met by Paul's calm Australian reason and belligerant Northerner Trudy); American Natural History Museum; Guggenheim Museum; Central Park in the snow (we started out with shoes with holes in them, we finished in snow boots, there were tears in the middle); Museum of Modern Art; High Line; Halloween Parade in Greenwich Village (where Tara disappeared, Tom was groped repeatedly and violently by a larger lady, Trudy was almost literally abducted by a pack of wolves and Patrick lost a tooth); and Sister Act on Broadway.

As well as the traditional attractions, we also have a couple of personal favourites. The crazy lady at the counter in Penney's who, upon finding out that we were English and from England and were clearly speaking English to her face, asked us whether we spoke French! When Trudy said no and Tom said yes, she followed up with "Sprachen du Deutsch" with an utterly vacant look in her eyes. Tom's wind problen leading to these three statements (all from children): "It smells like bacon", "It smells of sick", "It smells horrible"... Not forgetting the roach motel complete with bedbugs, cockroaches, snoring naked men and a dormitory which made you feel like you were sleeping at the exact centre of the sun.

After ten days and spending too much money we decided to get the hell out of Dodge. We booked an awsome Megabus to Wahington DC (complete with a 3 hour delay and an enforced driver change), however Tom (who is fast becoming the holiday liability) definiately did not retain our booking code....DEFINITELY NOT.