We write this blog in high spirits as we have just discovered that a coffee machine can be used to make tea as well as coffee. Being English this means that we now have the tools to conquer the world (until the next cup at least).

With Thanksgiving over, our time at James's was coming to an end, but not before he took us out for a spin on the lake in his new boat complete with sonar, sat-nav, replacement propeller blades (for any propellers that might happen to get broken by rogue propeller supports not removed when entering the water...) and left over Thankgiving trukey and ham. The birds of the US continued their victimisation of Trudy when a bald eagle came flying out from the trees towards the boat - James identified it, so it really was an eagle this time! James also took us to George's Bar where he splashed out on 300 shrimp for us (Trudy informs me that I've already told this story but I just thought of that great nautical pun!). We were also introduced to Uno, a game which Darleen, Mike and James are expert at. Remember Tom, if it goes silent then it's your turn (a slight modification of the rule Tom already knows, if you don't know whose turn it is then it's your turn).

The 11 hours on the Greyhound bus from Hickory to Charleston just flew by like a fat lumbering thing that doesn't actually fly, an elephant for example (not Dumbo). For anyone who cares, our bus stopped in Charlotte for 4 hours.

Luncheon in Charleston stood out for two reasons, neither of which is related to the fact that it was at the Bubba Gump Shrimp Co from Forest Gump. Firstly, Tom forgot to have his mandatory afternoon coffee, which led to full-on caffeine withdrawal (throbbing headache, bouts of anger, tears, removal of shoes). Secondly, his holiday idiocy returned when he forgot that he'd eaten a chicken salad starter (American portions) and when the main course filled him up before finishing it he proclaimed "Wow, I'm really full, I must be ill or something".

Later that day (i.e. night) we were taken on a ghost hunt which saw us, in the words of Withnail, "prowling around in the middle of the f**king night"...but in a graveyard! We ran from one end of the graveyard to the other checking for lights and cold spots amongst the graves, however we didn't find any ghosts. Tom was secretly praying that a flock of birds would fly out at Trudy, for this would terrify her more than any ghost ever could. Imagine what the ghost of a bird would do?

Our bus from Charleston to Georgia, Savannah was one and a half hours late, however instead of the customary apology, the bus driver b******ed everyone for no apparent reason. We spent the rest of the two and a half hour journey in the dark with everyone afraid to ask the driver to turn the reading lights on (making for one angry but still very quiet Tom). Georgia was similar to Charleston, however with the addition of monsoon rain (Tom fell into a puddle almost up to his knees) and an English pub (a big shout out to Laurie, Debbie and Jennifer), which led to another pub, which in turn led to the worst karaoke performance ever recorded in human history. Mr Jones by the Counting Crows was utterly devastated by a drunken Tom, who left the stage apologising to those unfortunate enough to have been alive and nearby.

Waiting in the Greyhound bus depot, our hangovers (the worst since the last one) were not made easy for us. For Tom this was needing to go to the toilet, an experience he summed up thus: "It smells like someone painted the walls in there using a paint pot filled with excrement diluted with urine." To which Trudy replied: "You think you had it bad - look at all the people in this room and I've just had to help that old man in the wheelchair." When a tired and hungover Trudy is the kindest person in the room then you really have to worry about the state of the world...

Onwards to Florida and Disneyland.