Ni hao ma?

I hear that the sun has finally got his hat on in Blighty! Woohoo!

I also heard today that there has been a mahussive earthquake in Chinaville, and that it's killed lots of people. We are not sure eggzactly where the quake hit, but methinks it is not near here. However, yesterday, we had what we thought was thunder...could have been some sort of tremor, and then we had a powercut in the evening, which could well have been linked to it all. Word is that the quake has flattened an entire city! Though you probably know a lot more about it than we do!

We are alive and quite well though. Thanks for the textos though Ma, Pa, Han and Lois. My roomie and I both felt loved when we turned on our telenbones.

It has been a while since I wrote (last time I was on the 'puter for 12 whole hours trying to upload pics and vids and stuff…so I am only just getting over the trauma of it all), and as a result this is going to be a mammoth entry. So much has happened! From Scary scorpions, to performing in front of 100s of people, and spending a day out with the masters (on my tod).

Got your tea and cake/biscuits? Ready, steady, go!

Our group has done lots of work on our basics since I last wrote. Master Wei says that if we have a strong foundation in these, then it could be possible to learn a form in just one hour. He must be superman. Correction. He IS superman.

I have slowly been learning the staff form; the emphasis being on the word s.l.o.w.l.y. I am not sure why, but I am finding it particularly challenging. Methinks it has something to do with the fact that it is an extension of my body…and so now more than just having to contend with twisting my limbs one way or another, I now have to twirl a big heavy stick around and make scary swooshing noises!

The grading is normally this Friday, but Martin and I have only learned a 3rd of the form. This is due to a range of factors: our forms lessons being interrupted by various things, Martin being ill and so Shifu not teaching me any more, Shifu being away for a whole week (!) and Master Du having to cope with teaching both ours and Master Wong's groups on the days we do forms, oh, and me just generally being quite slow to pick up on the form. Hmm. I am, however, determined to get it daaaaaaan before I leave the academy (in less than 3 weeks!! Eek! Noooooooooo!).

I have, however, completed the Taichi 24-step, and so shall hopefully be grading in it Friday. Woohoo! I really hope to keep this up….perchance I can get up early on my travels and join in with the locals as they do their Taichi and Qigong of a morning…?

Also, since Cat and I performed 2-person form recently (more on this later), I shall hopefully be grading in that too. Only for the grading, Cat and I decided to sneakily learn the 2nd part, with a view to surprising Master Wei on the day. Hehe.

Ooh! Remember I mentioned about helping out at a Language school outing to the 9-Dragon pool? (When Charlie, Canyon and I went walking hours out of our way in completely the opposite direction?) Well…on the day, there was a film crew there, and Canyon and I had to give an interview and and and. Well, Lois, one of the interpreters at the academy told me that the cleaning ladies saw us on Chinese TV! Our names flashed up and everything! Heehee! How funny!

2-person performance:

Man, this story is unreal!

I must have mentioned the Taoist temple that they have been building on the mountain at the base of where we begin our weekly tortuous run? There are pics of it on the blog…Well…this building work has been going on since before I arrived here…but it has been happening at breakneck speed. We discovered a while back that the opening ceremony would be taking place at the end of April. Word on the street was that the school was going to be giving some performances (interesting….Shaolin performers at a Taoist temple opening…). We presumed that the masters were going to be showing off their stuff, and maybe a select few of the long-term students that have been here long enough to look good at what they do. Well…not much more was said on the matter until the week before the ceremony. I was sat, chillaxing on the steps outside the academy's entrance waiting for the lunch bell and subsequent stampede to commence, when Lois, one of the interpreters comes over and says to me: " I hear from Master Guo that you are performing at the opening ceremony, Natasha."

"?!?!?!?!?!?" was my immediate reaction. She went on to say that Master Guo said he had heard that a girl from Master Wei's group would be performing. I quickly replied by saying that: A) I had not heard this, and that B), if a female from Wei's class was performing, surely it would be Cat ( the only other girl in our class) as she has been here since October and knows a heck of a lot more than I.

Lois responded that it was definitely my name that was mentioned. I felt a bit queasy at this point.

Nothing more was said (in typical Chinese form), and so I tried to forget about it. Until 4.10pm on Tuesday 22nd that was. Cat came over and calmly informed me that Master Wei had just told her that in 4 days time, she and I were to perform Tongbei (correct spelling!) in tandem, at the opening ceremony of the Kunyu Mountain Taoist Temple, thereby representing the school in front of an audience of 300+ people comprising Taoist monks of many levels, Shandong Province dignitaries and the general public. Oh, not to forget the television crews!!!!! Lordy bee!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So the rumours had been true after all!

I was gobsmacked and bricking it due to the late notice. Yet very, very honoured to have been selected. It turns out that the only student representatives were 6 boys from Master Wong's class performing the staff form as a unit; myself and Cat; Patrick from Master Bao's class, and Bernard from Master Qu's Mantis class. Wow! Even if we were chosen so that people could gawp at the fact that the academy had female students, I am still super honoured that I was chosen to be one of those females when another of the girls had been here 2 months longer than me.

We practiced Tongbei together for a bit and then realised that to perform it successfully would be a feat easier said than done. As you can see from the video of my grading, it is a solo form. If we were to perform it even slightly out of sync, it would look sloppy. Seeing as we had been taught slightly different versions, getting synchronised was not going to be an easy task. So…that evening Cat had the clever idea that we might be able to do 2-person form instead. I thought this was a genius idea…as it is exactly what it says on the tin : "2"-person form. However, I had only learned ¼ of this form so far…Aarg. Even Master Wei pulled a face when she suggested her plan, fearing that the performance was too soon. He said that we were to practice both, and that he would then let us know which we could do. Gee thanx! Less than 4 days to synchronise Tongbei AND learn ¾ of a different form. Cunningly, Cat was of the impression that Wei would very much like us to do 2-person… you see, 2-person form is one htat he brought to the academy from the Shaolin temple. Apparently it is one of his preferred forms. Nice one Cat! So we kicked Tongbei to the curb and thrust our hearts and souls into the 2-person form, hoping and praying that he would let us do it instead of the former. It would be much more entertaining for the public as it is a mock fight, involving kicks, punches, grabs, blocks, counter-attacks, the lot. And it would secretly warm the cockles of our Master's heart.

Night and day we worked on it. Every spare moment, every lunch, every evening. And with hardly any intervention / guidance from our master. By Wednesday night I had learned the whole form (well, the first part of it anyway….we were only going to perform the first part of it), which left us Thursday and Friday to run through it as many times as possible. Both of us suffering injuries (Cat with bad arms and knees; myself with just the bad knee) we were pretty beaten up come Friday lunchtime. My right knee was so swollen and sore that I had to ask NOT to do the mountain run (shock horror) for fear of not being able to do the performance the following day. Instead we gingerly made our way up to the temple (a workout in itself) to finally see the stage on which we would be performing. (Yes, correct, we had no idea how big or small it would be, or exactly where it was). Once there, we were discovered that the stage was way large enough, which was a relief. It was the flat roof of some sort of crypt. The audience would be looking up at us, with a backdrop of the mountains behind us. Just beautiful. The drawback was that the "stage" had sheer drops on 3 sides. Nice!

Whilst up there, we were surprised into doing a final run-through in front of alllllllllll the masters and Master Su, our headmaster. Thrown into a mild panic, we stuttered and struggled, finding the gritty surface of the roof / stage challenging. I even punched Cat in the face. Ooops! (She was supposed to block me, mind). It was a disaster. After all our hard work. Master Wei's eyes did not lie. He was concerned.

We were supposed to be going out to dinner in Yantai that evening to see off 3 of the guys, who were leaving that weekend. Master Wei at first forbade us to go out. He said that we only get one chance to make a first impression and that if we wanted to perform the following day, that we were not to go out. This was our sentiment exactly. However, 2 mins later, he softened and said that we could go out if we wished. We thought better of it and spent the whole evening working our lil butts off again…now extra nervous.

When I say that we had little guidance, I mean it. Time and time again we asked what we should wear, what time it would start, what time we needed to be there for etc etc. No information was shared. In the end, we devised our own entrance and exit sequence and outfits. I was able to borrow an academy-styled shaolin suit from James. I had half a mind to rock up in tatty tracky bums and a ripped t-shirt…see how they liked them apples! But of course we wouldn't have done that in reality.

The organisation of the day was such a mess. We were told the evening prior to the event that all students participating in the ceremony / wanting to attend the ceremony had to be at the temple by 7am at the very latest! Wow! That meant leaving the academy at about 6.15am! We were told that the performance wouldn't be until 11, but that the road leading up to the temple would be shut off after 7am.

Of course, come Saturday the reality was completely different. Arriving at the temple before 7am, we were then forcefully marched down the mountain again by rent-a-cops and told not to come back until 10.30!!! What a palaver. It would seem they were afraid of some sort of uprising following the whole Tibet situation. They had scouts up on the mountain and everything. One of the "officials", a rather tubby man in an ill-fitting uniform, started prodding Master Wong. I do not believe he knew that the latter was a trained Shaolin Master and two-time ex-sanda champion of China. I certainly wouldn't have dared put my mitts on him! Fortunately, being a shaolin master, he is of a good disposition. Luckily, he managed to calm the pushy guard, and we were then allowed back up the mountain, where we had to wait for several hours before the ceremony began. Thank goodness I had enough foresight to bring water and some snacks…cos it was hot hot hot and super sunny. Getting very nervous (following our disastrous rehearsal the previous evening), I did some sit-down Qigong to try and chill out.

There were speeches that we couldn't see, and a secret Taoist ritual thingy that went on inside the temple (during which time we were not allowed to take photographs at all….even outside the temple), then there were explosions, which sent hundreds of thousands of small bits of colourful paper shooting into the air…that was pretty. Then the hoards started arriving. At 10am, we were told that we would be on at about 10.30. As Cat and I turned away to fight out way through the throngs to a find a peaceful spot in which to sit until the hour of reckoning, we unexpectedly saw the boys step on stage and start their thing. We were on straight after them! Again, thrown into mild panic, we hit the stage and did our best. It was over so quickly…and I didn't punch her in the face! Woohoo! It wasn't our best version by far, but it went without mishap or mistake…so we were both chuffed. A few people managed to video it, so I hope to upload it sometime soon. After the students, the Masters got up and did their stuff. Master Bao did a straight sword form and a fist form. Master Wei did a Dao form and a fist form. He and Master Qu also had wood broken over various parts of their body. Master Wei had a wooden stick broken over his back whilst he had a spear in his throat! That same spear was then used by Master Du in a form. Masters Su and Guo performed a Taichi form (think it was Cheng style) together, and then Guo did a baji form…lethal. Su also broke solid metal over his forearm and SHIN. OMG!!!!!!!!!!! Master Qu also performed a praying mantis form. They were awesome! And I had a front row seat, just off stage. Seriously, I felt so honoured that we are being taught by them. They can literally fly. Such awe.

Hehe…later, as other performances were going on (some ladies in bright pink and green costumes dancing on the stage for about 30mins, chasing another lady in a donkey costume….who knows what was going on in their world!) we took a peek around the temple and even got to spy on the resident monks' quarters. A little chap of about 6 years of age came up to Sarah and I, smiled, and then rubbed our tummies. His father just laughed and they walked off. We presume this was for good luck…just as they do with Buddha bellies. Either that, or the Dad was just teaching the kid to be a pervert from a very early age! Hey! Does that mean that the kid thought we had Buddha bellies?!!! Grrr!

It was such a special day and I still feel honoured to have partaken in it.

Sadly Master Wei didn't say anything to me about the form…but he did mumble to Cat, come Monday morning in Taichi, that our form was very good. So I supposed that means we got his seal of approval. We were also treated to a dinner out on Monday eve, courtesy of the academy…which was a special treat.

Master Su (headmaster) didn't attend, but Masters Wong and Guo did, and the former gave a speech and told us lovely things. He said that we did great and had worked so hard with such short notice. He said that the masters had had some extremely positive feedback from the notable people who attended the event as well as from the monks and the general public. That made it super special and was a huge relief, particularly as we had been told not to get upset if people simply laughed at us when we were on stage (apparently this happens pretty often in China!). We also got to learn a bit more personal information about Master Wong and Master Guo. That is always an indulgence. The meal itself was quite tasty even though none of us could lift our glasses from the table when we first sat down, cos they were STUCK to the glass table with grease/grime. Yes…the table was made of what should have been clear glass. In reality, it was black with dirt. NICE. Mum, you would have walked in, and walked straight out again.

Other things that have happened…:

Oh yes…I had a thoroughly bizarre experience one weekend not so long ago whilst in Muping getting some provisions. To try and prevent the mozzies from eating me whole, I decided to get some Vitamin B complex tablets and quit banana munching. The sales clerk ladies in the "Leechdom" (yes….Leechdom) pharmacy, try to give you just about anything. It's weird…they don't even know what you want, but they just keep handing you boxes with Chinese characters on them as you walk around hunting for what it is that you actually want. It's all a bit surreal, cos they are dressed in white doctors' coats, and they don old-skool hats…so you half expect them to know what they're doing, but they really don't. Anyhoo, on this particular occasion, 3 ladies come rushing up to me (not Sarah, Cat or Gogs, but me) and thrust a box into my hands. I looked down at the box to see what it was, and to my horror, I saw a picture of a semi-naked lady in a provocative pose. Inscribed on the box was the misspelled phrase: "SXEYLADY". Reading a little further, I managed to deduce that the contents of the box were a stimulant for ladies wishing to...er…how do you say…get that little bit more stimulation from intimate moments. I went bright red! We think they wanted us to tell them what it was for…at least, that is what I am telling myself. Why me?! Could they not have handed it to one of the others?!

Also, in this pharmacy, some of my favourite bottles in the vitamin section are the following:

Sheep placenta tablets

Lamb placenta tablets

And, the piece de resistance:

Super placenta tablets.

Yummy!

The first weekend of May brought with it a National holiday on the Friday. This meant we got the day off! It wasn't actually communicated to us for certain until the Thursday evening (of course), and there had been some confusion as to whether the Thursday or the Friday was the holiday…etc etc. Anyhoo, the Thursday afternoon was a wind down to our (potential) day off. Instead of putting us through gruelling power training, Shifu took us on a lonnnnng walk. Once again, we had no idea where we were going, or how long we'd be out, or if we needed specialist equipment. Keeps you on your toes! He took us rock-running for a bit down by the river…which was hilarious fun. I managed to get about 200m pretty successfully, and then, BAM, I was in the water…bum stuck in a hole, with legs and arms poking up. I just don't know what happened. One minute I was standing, the next I was in the water. Hehe. I had very wet shoes and a green bum. Nice! I then had to walk about 3 miles…squidging and squadging. It was funny though.

Earlier that week, my roommate Sarah and I had a bit of a fright. We were going out somewhere so rushing for showers. As I was stood outside waiting, I heard a very calm and collected: "Oh my word".

I thought she must be OK…maybe there was just something a bit gross on the floor or something. As she came out a few minutes later, still sodden, she told me, still quite calm, that she had thrown her towel over her head to dry her hair only to notice that 8 inches to the right of her face was a SCORPION, dangling on her towel. Arg! She was holding said scorpion-riddled-towel as she told me this, and thought it might be best to put it outside to allow Mr. stowaway-stinger to make his own way out of it. AAARG. She is sooo brave. I'd have screamed the academy down and come running out of the shower at 100 miles an hour, clothed or not clothed! What we canny define, however, is whether scorpy got onto the towel in OUR room on the top floor, or whether he found his was onto it in the bathroom. Hmm. Nice. Will be checking my shoes and bed from now onwards! And towel! Word on the street is that a boy did get nipped by one last year whilst in bed, on the top floor. So one can't be too careful.

On the actual bank holiday, I had a huge stoke of luck. I managed to wangle my way out on a day trip to Penglai with the Masters! Woohoo! Of course, it was super last minute. In fact I was mid-clothes-wash, when I was given the green light and about 2 mins to grab some stuff together.

Penglai is a 1000 year old temple situated approx 2.5 hours away east of Kunyushan, on the coast. It was such a special day, and precisely the type of thang that I want to get involved in. It was myself, Lois the interpreter, Sawei the internet lady, the headmaster's father, the tall bloke with a red jacket and big-head that is always at the academy and whose role I still don't fully understand, Masters Qu, Wong, Bao and Du, the chef, his wife and his lil bambino. Quite a party. We had to stop in Muping to pick up Master Qu. Master Wong got out of his cab and was at once horrified to see me (he didn't know I was coming). I immediately understood why when I saw what he was wearing. Hahahahahaaa! He was wearing a black velveteen long-sleeved top with giant gold lettering across the chest, which spelled (sp?)…apologies to the grandparents…: "f*** u Off".

Pure genius!

I gasped and pointed.

He cringed.

Apparently, upon purchase of said-top, he didn't have a clue what it meant (nor would most other Chinese people). He has since been told, but really likes the top and so just doesn't wear it in the students' presence. Hehehe.

The best bit is that all the masters a huge photo queens. They LOVE having their pics taken. So I have quite a few of the twice Chinese Sanda champion in front of serious statues with this top on. Hehe. It was such a good day, albeit very long. It was hot and windy and we didn't eat or drink anything until 6pm…having left at 8am. Luckily, cos I am never sure what on earth is happening, I managed to grab some water and an apple before dashing out of the academy.

At long last, I managed to see some proper old-skool style Chinese buildings and learn some history. I also got to hang out with the Masters on a social level and experience a cultural adventure a la chinoise. What was eggstra special was that they treated me to dinner. When we finally ate, it was the best food I had had since entering China. Yummy! It was "hen hao!"

Oh yes! I keep forgetting to write about my sparring experience! It was weeks and weeks ago now…but we had a proper bout! We set up a ring/ stage and got properly padded up : helmets, body armour, shin protection, gloves…no gum shield unfortunately. Cat and I fought each other. I have a video of it. It was knackering! And we were only at it for 3 minutes. I was bricking it, cos it was full contact, and I had never done that before, and I didn't have a gum shield. Oh, and in the first fight, Euan got his nose broke and there was blood everywhere. Didn't inspire me with much confidence!!!

To watch, the video is very boring. Cat (about the same size as our Cat Ball…therefore Teeny weeny) wiped the floor with me. I got biffed and baffed. ( Will teach me to keep my guard up!) However, Misses Fisher, Horrocks and Hawkins, I did manage to get a jab followed by a spinning back fist in at 2mins 13 seconds. Woohoo! That was about all the excitement there was, I am afraid to announce. I am glad to have given it a go though, and would go for it again if the opportunity arose and I could get hold of a gumshield.

Right, well, I think that is quite enough for one day. I am sat in Charlie's room writing this. Am off training today, Master Qu's orders. Am a little worried that the problem I am having with my right knee has something to do with my cruciate (sp?) ligaments. Eek. It's pretty painful and seriously debilitating. And it can strike at any moment…like a scary thingymawhatsit. Hopefully, resting today and yesterday arvo will mean I can get back on it tomorrow and get some more staff form learnt and some jumps done!. So much to learn and so little time! If not, I shall probs just continue regardless! Tends to be how we do it here at the shan. Just hope that it gets better as soon as I leave here…Have plans to scale some pretty high mountains on my China travels. It's so close now…I really need to get on with the planning part!

How are y'all anyhoo?

Good I hope and super smiley.

Limbers:

Your brand new lil boy is soooooooooooooo cute! Karen sent me some pics. He is schmerfect! Good work team Limbachia!

Ma and Pa: Thank you kindly for my package. I broke into my choc yesterday and it was YUMMY!