Howdy again,
How are things in Blighty and beyond?
Firstly, I must apologise for the terrible spelling mistakes in my blogs. The keyboards here are...er...well-used, and not the most reponsive. Due to fears of being cut-off from the net every 5 mins, I dont tend to go back and check the spelling...I just try and post the blogs ASAP.

Thanks again for textualising and messaging me. It's nice to hear from y'all.

Loads again has happened since I last posted.

I am getting more bendy by the week! Woohoo! When we do our "warm-up" stretches, peeps have to go on tippy toes when I put my leg on their shoulders...or sometimes they even have to put in on their head. Yippee! However, I only seem to be getting bendy i one direction. My flexibility in other directions has dramaticlly decreased...Hmmm.

The "normal" splits are edging ever-closer. This, I believe, has been greatly aided by a certain Geordie James pulling my leg further and further every couple of seconds. It is painful, but possible. He just says he likes to hear women scream his name. I wasnt screaming it with happiness though!

Once again, this entry will be a bit haphazard.

2 weekends ago, or was it 3? I went into Yantai City (from whence one gets the plane). I went bowling in the dinkiest place ever. It had a whole six lanes! But you got all the shoes and everything, and even some special socky-feet protector things. It was fun, but I was crep.
Oh, and there was a BIG poster on the wall of a guy demonstrating how to bowl. Halfway through our game, this same-said dude walks in. It was funny. I managed to snp a pic of him next to his own face.

We also visited this DVD shop, where you step behind a biiig poster into a secret area of the shop, which is twice the size of the front of the shop. Here is where you can purchase all your DVDs. And they are only 6 quai for the most part...which equates to 50p. Hehe. Any requests??
They are pirated, but good quality. We watch them at the academy all the time.

In Yantai, we also went to an arcade (within a commercial centre) and they had...wit for it...a Drumstar game! With a REAL drum machine It's like the dnce games and the guitar-playing games, but with a real drum kit. Weirdy beardy but hilarious to watch and hear...if you are brave enough to get close.

Last week in acrobatics we did some cooool stuff. Shifu got us to run and do a flying side kick followed by a break fall and then a few kicks from the ground. Finally! It was something I could do effectively, and I loved it. Felt like I was 12 years old again!

We did more backflips...bringing my total to approximately 4 now ;)Greatly assisted of course...but fun nevertheless. Ariane was coaxed into doing one. She was terrified, so it took a while. But when she finally flipped, she freaked out in mid air and kicked Master Wei in the head. It was caught on camera and was hilarious. Teehee. Lucky he is super tiny and he is mega hard.

Tuesday afternoons is normally takedowns. We have learned quite a few variations on defence from a turning kick. Miss Hawkins, Horrocks and Fisher...sometimes I am s.c.a.r.e.d! We really get in close and grab the attacker. I have been sweepig and flipping people (boys only as the girls in my group dont seem to partake) like a madwoman. And I have been swept and flipped and thrown. It's great. We tend to either catch the kicker's leg if it is kidney height, or block and grab if it's head height. Then we either smack em in the face, propelling them backwards, or use their momentum to swing them round (grabbing the back of their neck) and throw them to the ground, or keep hold of the kicking leg and pull the supporting leg from under them, etc etc... This week I actually thought I might break something as we caught the high turning kick and swept the supporting leg from under them. It all happens so quick that the attacker goes flying! And try as you might to break your fll ( as the attacker)...you just fall however and land like a sack of potatoes. Charlie was nearly doing flips he was being swept so quickly. It was fun and satisfyingwhen you get someone down, but when you get thrown, it is quite scary. Winded meself a few times!

The power training continues. We now do 3 sets of 20 - 21 reps. Still at 20KG thank Lordy, but the arms are getting bufferer and bufferer. Eek. I may have to ask that he gives me an lternative exercise.

There have been a couple of gradings too...which I have watched avidly.
My grading (basics) should be on Monday, though I have not as yet been informed of this. Apparently this is pretty standard. Some people are not told they are grading until an hour before the show. I am thus preparing just in case!!!

We've been doing some conditioning too...of the arms, legs and ribs. Last week, I had my arms up in front of me (palms facing inwards) blocking my head. Canyon (Los Angeles) was given the task of kicking me (using turning kick) 30 times on each side. I got one kick that gave me a huge ball on my ulnar / radius on the right arm,. I've never had a swelling like that. Mai, I got a you-style bruise that is just starting to fade. I have a new bump in my bone too. Apparently this is what is supposed to happen, to give you bones steel, or something or other. As long as it is not visible to the naked eye, I dont mind.
I've got a few bruises on my head too, where I keep forgetting to brace myself against the power of high turning kicks when we are doing pad work. I nerly knocked meself out in power training yesterday! That will teach me! And quickly. Health and safety and sueing and insurance mean nowt out here. It's quite refreshing I suppose, but you have to keep your wits about you!

Last Thursday we were denied acupuncture tuition. Insted, Shifu decided he would give us some explosive training. AKA 1-inch punch training. It was cool. But super hard. I can see what you are supposed to do. IE harness the strength from the very bottom of your body, all the way up your legs, through your core, down your arms and out of your fist at the very last nano second...but thinking it and coordinating your body to do the same thing are not so easy!
We tried using the outside of our wrists too (in Bruce Lee style). I found I got more power out of the wrist-slap than the punch. Methinkls it will take many a year to perfect such a punch. Maybe even a lifetime.

Last weekend was my first roommate (Mia)'s leaving doo. Against my initial plans, I was coaxed to go out on the toon. We went for dinner and roped our master and Master Bow along, as well as one of the interpreters (Joy) and the internet lady. It was fun, and I ate so so so so much. I looked 8 months pregnant as we were leaving. Went to the spa afterwards for a good olsd scrub up. Ahh...the weekly shower is one I look forward to. Hot water with pressure! And warm surroundings! And free toothbrushes and toothpaste that tastes like cinnamon. And cool PJs.

Then I had my first experience "out" in China. Never fear Marcus, I touched not a drop of the hard stuff! Toot toot!
We went to Yantai City, which is 30 mins further on from the spa at Muping. The bar was called Ali Baba's. It's underground with many many many many pool tables in a lonnnnnng hall, and adjacent, there is a dance room with a bar. They play some pretty, er, interesting music. Some of it is the techno pop ruddish that they so love over here, with remixes of Gwen Stefani songs (" That sh*t is bananas...B.A.N.A.N.A.S"...) and other stuff. But they also played some old skool Dr Dre and stuff. Ususally (so I hear) there are fights in there...and sometimes they involve some of the more boisterous members of he academy...but this particular Saturday went off pecefully, much to my relief. Some of my counterparts spent hours in the loo retasting their dinner. Others needed to be carried out. But it was funny to see through sober eyes and great to get to know people once they had "let their hair down" so to speak (even though there is a head-shaving craze sweeping the academy...Not to worry Mair...I have told people firm and stern that I am under strict orders not to remove my locks, on peine of losing out on Team Blue duties.). Getting home was a nightmare. We are not supposed to return to the academy after 11pm on weekends. Come 4ish, we were trying to find somewhere to stay in Yantai. No good. Then we decided to go and try our luck at the spa in Muping. No good again as we had caught possibly the most ueless cabbie in China, and he didnt know where anything was. Worse still, our only vague-Chinese-speaker was away with the Brandy-fairies (he is a proper Scot...likes a tipple) and so didnt get us very far. Eventually, we just decided to head back to the academy and scale the wall...ninja stylee. By the time we got back it was 6am so even had we been caught by the ever-alert masters, we might have been able to get away with it. Of course, we weren't. Stealth warriors that we were. It is not something I wanted to do...but we really had no choice.

Oooh! Yesterday (Friday 4th) was something like "Sweeping the Tombs" ay. From what I can gather, it's a bit like all souls day in the UK, and it's a national holiday. The weather was glorious and so, as a treat, the Masters took the entire academy up a mountain. Yes a real mountain. Elle n'a rien avoir avec la montagne habituelle du vendredi, Dave! This Mountain required at least an hour and a half's walk through the National Park first (beautiful scenery), and then a 2000 step ascent (remember what I said about China and its vertical mountain paths!) and then a further trek along (or up, I should say) a tree-line track to the summit.
It took us 3 hours to get there from start to finish. And there was approximately the population of Sussex (east and west) and Kent (quite possibly) doing the very same thing.
Man, I sweated. I sweated like...I can't say...there are Grandparents reading!
The views from the top were spectacular! Got some pics and some poses.

The best bit, however, was the "performance" that occurred at the summit after we had tucked into our lunches. As I have previously mentioned, us "lawai" are constant attractions / exhibits to the Chinese. A group as large as the entire academy is like a travelling circus to the people around. Kyle (USA) had brought his iPod and speakers along, and decided to break into a dancing frenzy where we were all sat. It was hilarious. Within seconds, there was a captive audience of 100-200 people, clapping, laughing, cheering him on! Then Charlie, another member of the school did his bit...and the crowd went wild. Then Kyle took the floor again. More cheer and merriment. And then, from nowhere, this Chinese guy jumps in and starts dancing to the music by doing Drunken style Kungfu! Complete with flips and break falls! It was unreal! And amazing! And so so so so funny. A few people caught the whole thing on video...I will do my very best to upload it, at least to Facebook.
Then, all of a sudden, it was like the entire academy was composed of celebrities. People were asking to have their photos taken with us left right and centre. The first few requests were quite flattering, but by request number 12, I began to get little weirded out. Interesting experience though! Something I will never forget.


Last night I was asked if I would go to the "9 Dragon Pools" to assist on some English Language day for children. The Head Master of the Kungfu Academy had asked one of the interpreters to recommend an "easy-going" student apparently.That's literally all I was told.
I said I would go...just to see. We Set off at 7.30 am this morning...an hour's walk into the National Park to where we thought this place was. Turns out it was 2 and a half hours in the opposite direction! (We took a cab for this corrective bit).
When we finally arrived, we were asked to "Teach the children"...just like that. There were hundreds of them aged between 4 and 13. They wanted us to teach them about Spring and the Olympics. It was...er...interesting! Then we sang songs, danced with them and played games. There were TV cameras around and we had to give interviews. It was all so strange and so chaotic! Gave me a bit of a headache. It was rally hot today too. The kids were great though and some of them spoke some really good English (some of them not so good...) I had to fight to get out of there by 1pm, as they suddenly said they wanted us to stay until 4. Alarm bells were ringing, so eventually, Canyon and I got to leave and managed to get the language school to pay for our cab back to the academy. Poor Charlie had to stay ( as he is their official native language teacher) and then he had to walk back! The cheek! Poor lamb. Not sure I shall be volunteering my services for such events aymore, unless I am given a bit more info beforehand. But it was an adventure, and I got to meet some cool kids...and make a fool of myself infront of yet more cameras. Eeek.

China is pure comedy. Brilliant. I still dont understand how it all works. I find myself asking "why?" and "how" an awful lot. It's just great though and I am sure I will miss its haphazardness (is that even a word?) when I get home.

Right, I think I have written a tome and so shall leave you be, until the next time.

Will lwt you know how I get on with my Grading on Monday (I it happens!)

Lots of love and smiley stuff to y'all.

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