In the words of the literary genius that is David Walliams, 'What a kafuffle'! The last few days have been testing, tiring and stressful as Grimdawg and I try and find transport down the East Coast. Cairns is an exceptionally nice place to live, eat and drink - but for the travel orientated mind it is devoid of the interesting landmarks which are essential.

I've developed a new hatred for the Germans, more than just that ancient football rivalry all Brits are instilled with at times of great nationalistic pride. Grim and I had a close escape from this train wreck of a 4x4 sale, which was rescued by difficulties with paperwork/safety certificates/registration. Queensland truly is the most difficult area to sort out a cars registration. Despite this, we were lucky! Lived to buy another day. This however has set our whole roadtrip back and we're getting towards the end of another sale which could see us finally getting outta dodge by later today. Don't worry people - all roadworthy and registration is basically sorted, hopefully we'll have a bit more luck.

Cairns Cairns Cairns... It really is a pretty nice place but you really can do all there is to do in Cairns in about a day. For those not going diving out at the barrier reef the town should be just a short stop on the descent south. They provide all of these amazing public amenities - a giant free swimming pool next to the sea (crocodilicus make the sea a danger zone) and free bbq stations, toilets, waterparks, fountains everywhere. Really is public spending as it should be (Take a lesson s***ty brittys).The main draw of the town is its extensive shopping areas and the main Esplanade which is pretty scenic. Apart from that the place is pretty small and holds little depth. (Grim was convinced that Cairns was the capital of Australia for 2 days - geographically ignorant. Los Siento????????). Also I have to say, Cairns would be Matt Exton's wet dream, really! The sheer number of REEEEF signs hanging about would definitely be too much for those boys. Whats more, the streets here do literally seem lined with gold. In the past 3 days Grimtang and I have acquired about 8 dollars in random dropped street change (no we haven't gone around scrimping.. there are literally just 2 dollar coins left lying around - crazy place)

Anyway, it's my birthday in just under 2 days time. What a step up in life. It's going to feel weird to be so old (very very old). Definite Goon orientated celebration required and hopefully we'll have reached Brisbane by then (1682km), If not we'll be chilling in Townsville which is this surprisingly amazing diving town according to urban legend. So we'll have to see. Its tempting to splash out and go diving at the barrier reef, but everything here is so expensive. Everything is priced as if 2 dollars were equal to 1 pound, but really the exchange rate is messing us over. Killer prices! Goon is about 13 dollars for 4 litres and Kangaroo steak comes to about 5 dollars for a big steak. Daily budget blown already!

Australia itself is a pretty crazy place. They can't name shops or restuarants properly. Everything is 'CRAZY LARRY'S' or similarly shocking names. All you read about respecting the aboriginal culture back in England seems bizarre here as we've seen so many who are down and out, begging on the street.

Anywho gotta go buy a van - I think Grim and I have done the roadtrip the right way around as you'll find so many bargains up in Cairns and in Melbourne the price for vans is dramatically higher so selling there should bring in a nice profit (fingers crossed)

Take it easy sports fans