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Happy new year everyone! As you can see from the photo I've had my first encounter with a genuine Indian snake charmer, and I nearly s*** me pants! We were off down the beach when I spotted him and true to form as soon as I made the briefest of eye contact he made sure I wasn't going anywhere without filling his pockets first. He had two of the most evil looking cobras I'd ever seen ( not that I've seen a great deal! ) he forced me to sit down a bit too close for my liking, by this time the camera was rolling so was a bit braver than usual. He then got out some other snake and wanted me to put the chuffin thing round me neck. He wouldn't take no for an answer and assured me it wasn't a deadly one by repeatedly saying " no hurt no hurt " which wasn't very comforting. So before I new it he had the b***** wrapped around my neck and as if that wasn't enough for him he picked up the basket with the cobras in and started waving the chuffin things in me face. At this point I was starting to lose trust in my new friend as both cobras stared me straight in the eyes and hissed as though they were going to strike, I politely asked the gentelmen to remove them from my face before i lost all bodily functions! As I got up my new found friend said 1500 rupees good price sir good price ( that's about £17!) I let him have 100 and said good price good price! Not sure he saw the funny side though!
We went down to the beach for new years eve, it was pretty impressive. The whole beach , which is about 6 miles long was packed with people. There were bonfires everywhere and it seemed like everyone of them had fireworks. Due to form the Indians aren't exactly big on health and safety, they liked nothing more than chucking fireworks on to the nearest bonfire and watching everyone jump back! ( you'd of been in your element diddler) It was the best fireworks display I've ever seen though, you felt like you were in it rather than watching it! It reminded me of Glastonbury a lot standing on the beach with bonfires everywhere is was a really nice atmosphere.
You meet so many people here, everyone wants to talk to you. We've managed to make friends with the local Indian alcoholic, he came over and introduced himself in the bar the other night by scabing a cigarette off dad. He's about 65 and looks like he's been sleeping rough in a ditch for a few months, but a really nice bloke. He can speak English but you've got to listen pretty hard to understand him, he says he never went to school but has taught himself English when all the hippies came to Goa in the sixties. He is a fisherman when he's sober but judging by the amount of neat whisky he knocks back I doubt he gets a lot of fishing done! He's certainly seen a few things though, when we first met him he had a chunk of dooby big enough to take out half of Glastonbury! He said he had the best time of his life when the hippies turned up although he spent half of it smoking heroin so he said he couldn't remember alot! I don't think the bar staff like him talking to the locals much, when we tried to buy him a drink they said he wasn't allowed anymore, it didn't help when he said they were all jealous motherf***ers because he got on with the English better than they did!
We went on the bus to panjim the capital if goa the other day. It was the first time we had been on the bus here. It looked like it wouldn't be out of place in the tip in England. You wouldn't believe how many people you can get on one bus, it was standing room only, just when you thought there was no more room they got some more on at the next stop. They honestly had a job to shut the door in the end. It was bloody cheap though, it worked out about 70 pence there and back which was a good twenty miles. When we got there there was a free ferry across the river to panjim which was fun. It was a roll on roll off type barge. There wasn't a lot to do in panjim as we arrived at dinner time and everywhere shut from 1 till about 4 over here for lunch. We met a guy fishing in the harbour though, he was nice but a bit highly strung. We only stopped to look at his catch and he ended up telling me I should be married with kids at my age and how westerners didn't value families and also that if the west didn't pay attention the dreaded Muslims would take over the world! Nice chap though, I spent most of our little chat wondering why he was wearing a crash helmet when there didn't seem to be a motorbike anywhere in near vicinity!
Anyone who knows me will be well aware I'm not what you would call adventurous with food so I've been gradually trying to broaden my gourmet horizon recently. I felt a bit of an amateur last night though, I ordered a noodle dish called a triple swazchan noodles and a few nan breads in case it was too hot. When it arrived it had a bowl of soup with it which I thought was nice, it looked a bit tomato soupy which made me feel at home. When I tried it it was alot hotter than your Heinz variety though! I noticed the waiter was looking a bit strangely at me and when I smiled he said " nice sauce!" and motioned towards the noodles as if to say your supposed to put it on the bloody noodles you dick! Think I was only meant to eat sausage and chips really!
Were moving on to south goa in about a week, I really looking forward to moving on now. I've been told the beach were going to go too is were they filmed the opening scene of the Bourne supremacy with matt damon jogging down the beach, it's called Palolem. I might get some new speedos and get the video camera out, don't worry ladies I'll see if I can upload it to the blog!!
Well that's your lot for now, peace out!
- comments
barbra sauce yes please put a video on here my little hunk i'm craving to see your lovely big belly smooth assests and portly muffin tops in action! x
Mrs h smooch Look barb iv told u once don't make me say it again you stay away from my pork chop, iv put on two stone since he left so i'm his idea women now "18st if your asking" so you stand no chance anymore you pig!
mrs banks well sorry ladies but this is one pork chop that has been sizzling under my grill and not for the last time if i get my way the thought of this video gets my engine revving my little toy boy! you two tubs can sling your hooks i may be a year or two older than lee but he dont mind that! he's gone off fattys he's mine now big kiss lee you are a lovely young man x
Mamfa Gould When you left the snake charmer did you hear him say "they're heading for the hill"? If you bump in to Matt Damon do give him my number won't you! Thanks! Speak soon uncle lee! xxx
ben shaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaveeeeeeeeeeeers!
Mrs banks Phhwaawwwwwwww! My future lover mixing it with the likes of Matt Damon better than my ex-lover mixing it with the likes of his son, write t*** the pair of them miss you x x
Lee Banks What the f***?! Who is writing all this s***? My mums an angel, she wouldn't even consider looking, let alone touching, anyone except my stepdad. I've had enough of you lot going on about my mum, she assured me that nothing happened between her and perry and the only reason she was walking funny the next day was cause she stubbed her toe on the landing and it had nothing to do with him being "balls deep".