Today is just the beginning The beginning of a new day, new friendships, new memories... The beginning of everything possible.
Near the end of July I paid my last weeks rent for the hostel. I'd been staying at the Canadiana Backpackers in Downtown Toronto for 3 month & it was a hell of a ride, one I could never have imagined. I've learnt so much while being there, done things I never thought I would or could & made the best of friends with strangers.
There was comfort in coming "home" to the hostel from a hard days work, seeing everyone on the red couches or out the back soaking up the bit of sunshine creeping through the high rises. To see a smile on everyone's face or a story behind their days, was beautiful to have that sort of closeness with a lot of people in one place & the routine of Tuesday night free burgers. I was originally planning on moving out of the hostel because it was too expensive but the savings never quite made it higher then a couple hundred dollars. So i lived by the week. I got my bi-weekly pay cheque into my bank, then spent it straight away on the priorities. Accommodation, Food & Alcohol. Savings were invisible in Toronto. I may have been scraping the bowl these past 3 months & some very stressful moments occurred but I managed to have fantastic support from friends & family for the times needed. I continue to mention how suprised I am about how happy I can be with so little money.
Two weeks into working at the Golf Course, I quit for the sandwich bar with promises to have full time hours, but the hours certainly fell through & $7 in the account for three weeks was depressing. I decided it was time to suck it up & ask for the golf course job back. s*** was getting pretty hectic. The bank man actually felt sorry for me & opened me up on an overdraw account so I could pay the hostel No Worries every week! I'd just be in debt until I was paid. I got a second chance in Toronto & back to the 3:30am starts was on. I was welcomed back by my German girl friends & the supervisors but was questioned by a lot of the younger Canadian workers. The divide between the young Canadian group & working travellers was disappointing really. They just didn't want to make it easy to be there. Most of them are the high school type with a lack of work ethic. I was told I was a hard worker by many, but to me this was just a normal pace & felt they were very relaxed about doing nothing all day, using any excuse to avoid actually doing work, I'm on a working holiday & work harder then the permanents... I eventually had to come to terms with it & snapping at some people wasn't going to get me anywhere, I had to stop taking it so seriously. I needed a lot of convincing by my other foreign friends though.
I realised a lot while working there. One point being that I hated working indoors. I'd worked for the past 7 years or so in an office environment. Little did I notice that I love being outdoors or working wiith my hands. I got my tan, my fitness, the sunshine was definitely the best part but I never had a headache like I did back in the office. I also figured out that we Australians have more slang then what I initially thought & I speak too fast for the Canadians. I got into this position at the course of teaching the Canadians some general Aussie slang. The most used by one Canadian boy being "Gobby", then general laughter & banter of this kid never stopped. He was definitely the loudest on course so the word definitely got old by the end of it. I also got into the Canadian slang, now commonly using the word "chirping" Which originated from Hockey. So in Candian means to pick on, abusing, lets fight.
Besides the unorganised laziness at the course, the workers & even the supervisors were pretty funny to spend my drunk mornings with. Us foreigners would commonly roll in drunk with minimal or no sleep from the night before, or hungover with good banter to get us through raking bunkers. My Korean friend would constantly make groaning noises while she tried to walk to work from the bus, giggle at everything & still have the energy to chirp me in return for being rough with her. "Thank you Teacher" was a common thing that was said by her, it was even starting to catch on by some of the others. I would assist in the words or sentences needed in English if they couldn't figure it out themselves. Besides the good friendships I had clearly made with some of these girls, they made coming to the course the only good thing after a while as there was a definite devide between the Canadians and us travelers. The random happenings at the course were definitely making my time there go quicker. One day I managed to throw a friend out of the Toro (The big work cart) caused by a sharp turn. I didn't know what to think as I saw his arms & legs on the ground next to the cart & helmet was in the air. Extremely worried & thankfully it was all a laugh & he wasn't hurt, but it was a running joke for a few weeks. I also recieved my first ever written warning at work, not for that but for not showing up for 2 days over a long weekend. One day was my fault as the night before Kings Cup drinking game happened & although I tried to make it home, I ended up being put to bed by my friends with no alarm. I recieved the talk during the week & wasn't even asked to give excuses. I'm suprised I didn't recieve more warnings though considering I was 'a rebellious teen with attitude' to one supervisor. I'd constantly get the nudge to take out my Ipod earphones. Sometimes I just didn't even care about why he wanted it out & ignored him, as I talked myself into that don't work too hard status on holiday.
I witnessed the circle of life occur one day. There was a baby bird in the rough of the trees, It had obviously been lost from it's parents so to prevent it getting run over by one of the big machines we tried to lead it close to the tree. Sad to say doing so I think caused the bird to be an easier target for something else. An average sized Hawk swept in within a metre of us & took the bird high up into the trees. Two adult birds were not far behind trying to scare the Hawk off but with no success. The frantic chirps just pointed out the hassles on a weekly basis of these birds. We saw the group of these hawks throughout the course over the next few months causing havoc. I also received a nice scar from trimming one day. Although we weren't meant to wear short shorts, we all did but it resulted in my left leg to receive a nice welted stain. Stinging nestle hit my leg while cutting by the fancy club house. I guess pants could have been a good idea, but definitely not preferable on a typically humid & 30 degree day. The bus drives to work were pretty memorable too. Hungover, photo's, falling asleep, missing the stops, reminiscing the nights before, missing the Transit system all together, weekends were always a hassle with catching the T.T.C streetcar at the right time to catch the second bus. There'd be numerous times where we would call in not being able to make it in for the 4 hours Sunday shift, only to turn around & go back to sleep at 5am in the morning. We had a stalker friend on the bus too, a quiet 'nice man' turned 'creepy man' had started taking pictures of us before we realised & on my last week of work I had to call the police on him for being said creep. Turned out he had been capturing a lot of girls on video just at their own business. Was a shock to my morning to deal with this & this is when I was told & realised I just don't take s*** form anyone now. Working rutienly 12 days strait at the course turned easy but definitely looked forward to the 2 days break. Even if it was working at Melt (the sandwich shop) part time, I got the break needed from the 3:30am starts & got to talk to Canadians with an interest in my Accent. On one of my weekends off I worked a Saturday night shift at Melt. 11pm-5am with a guy that just had a ball of fun with his customers, we had to deal with the Saturday nights drunk crowd. Before it even started though, half an hour into my shift the glass had shattered into pieces. A girl drunk off her face had slipped off the stall & smashed her face into the glass separating the sandwich presses from people. We had to close the shop for an hour just to make sure we had all glass out of the food. That night was an event in itself as I was to find out; Saturday night shifts in the non air conditioned store consisted in drinking from 1:30am onward, to give our self the kick we needed to power through the drunks & the tiredness. I have also now come to love pulled pork & poutine (a Canadian dish of fries, cheese curds & gravy) My typical drunk night, consisted of being legless, hair in the face, rolling into melt with a cheerful excited hello to get my free pulled pork sandwich from my new work friends. There were some great things i got from Melt, besides the free food, I found the music application "Songsa" & found my music reliant life to grow with more bands & songs to listen to on a daily basis. I gained more confidence when they told me they wanted me to train other stores, I was trusted very quickly to work alone, open & close the store & they were very helpful & understanding with my other job. A very easy to deal with family owned business.
Back at the hostel life I was happily living, Playing drinking games wasn't as common as what I though it would be, but when the games were out, they wouldn't stop for hours. Imagine the part of 'Kings Cup' where there is a thumb master, Once the thumb master silently puts his/her thumb on the table, there is a race to see who will notice and copy the action, the last one to do so has to drink. Same goes when we started making random poses over the couches to get the rest of the crew to follow. This was the fault of a super tall, funny Scottish friend I now have; "you can get a drunk person to do anything" he said. This was the one person who could lift me up & romantically carry me down the street to the hostel after a night out then try to watch the sunrise on the rooftop of the hostel only to realise you can never see the sun from there during the day, let alone at first light. Staying up that night was just the beginning of that friendship. Room 6 became a fun place. I had a roomie for a solid month. This particular Scottish bloke had amazing music taste so it was nice to wake up to a random chat or to him singing to his favourite bands. So much soul! Half the time not even realising I was in the room due to my fort of towels around the bed. His Irish sidekick would also be sitting in the room 80% of the time bickering about their plans for the day. The last month had some great randoms pass through too, interesting nights, even an ambulance called as a Canadian had overdosed. He was back in bed by morning, luckily the only thing hurt was his ego. I had the Irish drunk of the hostel pass out next to the bed cause he was too intoxicated to climb, seems my suitcase was a better pillow substitute. Luckily my headphone shielded out most of the noise when some people were too arrogant to realise midnight isn't time to call your friends too. After the first month of purely drinking everyday, partying & working silly hours, my body had finally crashed after my first day sober. Maybe it was coincidence in timing but I ended up getting pretty sick resulting in me having to go to the hospital & being prescribed antibiotics for Bronchitis & early Pneumonia, but the shock was the price of the bill. I needed to pay on the spot $550 for the consult & prescription. In tears & on the phone to my parents in panic, I had no money... no idea how to organise getting in touch with the Travel Insurance or if I should even wait in the emergency room, my German brother offered his support. He gave me a hug & handed me his credit card. My health was most important to him too. After the week of cooking chicken soup, making honey/ginger drinks & bringing it to my room to try & cure me he still managed to not let me go alone. A good friend, a beautiful person, he didn't even hesitate.
Getting better & having such a great mate around was also a relief for my parents. Knowing before I had such great friends around but proof that these strangers were some of my most trusted friends. I calmed down on the partying after that incident for only a little, I slowed down & the savings went up just slightly. We still had some big nights out, girls nights to compete with the lads on tour nights. Random afternoons at the pub or down the park, Pub crawls & the once a week local pub with my Irish twin. These were the biggest nights in Toronto with this girl. We got to know each other more & more through the months, so similar it was scary but we could handle each others habits & understand everything we said. Causing a laugh in 'Croc Rock' for free drinks - there were no limits as to what we wouldn't do here. It was also just the beginning of a rowdy & beautiful friendship.

A month ago I started to plan the next phase. I re-organised my flights home. I wasn't ready to leave yet. So booked them for a month later & organised myself a bus tour through the states during August. I also had kept in contact with my very first friend in Canada. Living in Edmonton I told him I would come spend a week, so I booked the bus out there before my tour started too. In light of knowing this was the last month in Toronto, I went out with everyone as much as I could. The happenings of Toronto were endless. Friends houses for dinner, movies, Much music awards, Gay Pride, free Billy Talent Concert, Kayaking, India Fest, Reggae Concert & just spending days in the backyard of the hostel hanging out, smashing watermelons & staying up until 5am after a girls night at Madisons, drinking, dancing & even smoking my first joint with trusted friends. Canadas Wonderland was one of the funnest days I had, along with the Carona Paint Party in Dundas Square. Throwing paint n each other - the simplest of things to remind you of how much of a child we can all be. Canada Day was a big disappointment, as the only Canadian flags I saw were on foreigners & the rib fest was very unorganised & expensive. Toronto Island & the views of Toronto were always a beautiful sight even if it wasn't super warm. The green grass & company always made the days over there relaxing. Kensington Market was one of my favourites, as the hippie vibe, good food & addictive accessories busted through the same streets of Toronto every week. It made wanting to buy something every time impossible for the wallet. Nights out were becoming more popular again as my time was ending, you would see relationships forming & moving on, travelers checking in but friends checking out. I was very sad to know it would come to an end. I had started to organise 3 weeks before leaving a big bash for going away. A reason to party with everyone one last time. It was also a friends birthday in the hostel so we made it an Aussie Sports Day Competition. Beer Pong, Flip Cup & Boot Skull. The best of three would win & the loser would have to wear a ridiculous outfit out in town. With my fractured hand from a few weekends before it put me in a losing position strait away. I have no aim so the beer pong challenge was ruined by me & flipping cups wasn't my teams strong point, so wearing a polka dot jersey & Australian boxer shorts out were mine to show off. Fog horns, a champions cup & a lot of recorded speeches about how great the tournament was were on everyone's cameras. It made the last weekend in Toronto a memorable one.
I experienced the worst floods of Toronto ever, a bit of rainfall & it caused blackouts all over the city, people lost cars in the deep waters gushing through the roadways & candles needed to be lit instead of lights- no one knew what to do with their time. The golf course was a mess with bunkers, pathways & fairways ripped up & moved to other parts of the course. The transport system was down & people of toronto just went in to panic mode. Too hot or too wet it seems they can't handle a bit of weather change.

The past week in the Rockies were the most recent thing that topped my Canada experience off. I packed up my Ontario life & bussed it down to Edmonton in Alberta to see my friend. I spent the week with him driving through Jasper National Park, through the Columbian Icefield Glaciers, Past Bow Lake & it's turquoise coloured water to Lake Louise, to have a beer with my Adelaide friend I met in Toronto. The views of the Mountains in the summer time were incredible, just a completely different view from the snow covered trees & roads I saw in November. We saw Carribou, a massive Beaver & Deer all on the sides of the road. We made our way to Kamloops to spend a few nights at his parents & to see his favourite spot; the Shuswap Lake, so for the day trip up there we saw a small Black Bear & found a quiet patch of lakeside covered in rocks & biting flies to go swimming in the warm(ish) water. The last 6 days spent road tripping with him was our chance to learn the depth of each other. I went there to figure him out, to finalise the findings of myself & there was a mystery to him that I have now cleared up. The connection we had when we met was worth the two days bus trip to see him, with this particular friend it was definitely an experience & a choice I wouldn't take back.

Through the past 3 months I've noticed a lot of change in myself, my attitude towards things & the whole experience has made me grow into my own skin. I've found myself to be more confident in myself & my decisions. I stress at a minimal, I can tell people what I think without being upset about it. For those who don't know me, understand that before this experience & even before Toronto I was the opposite to all of these happy emotions. I was a worrier, stressed over everything & nothing, I would always apologise & make someone else's problem my own. I now am strong & independent, no longer take things to heart & I've purely found out what I want & need in life, friendships, relationship & in me. I'll be returning home a different & better person. I am thankful for the friendships I've come across. The people who have helped teach me what I need to do & won't ever regret a thing I've done. I'm not ashamed to be who I am & I know how travelling can open up someones eyes & hearts to people & the world & hope I never have to stop.
I'm arriving in Los-Angeles with a nights sleep & a 26 day bus tour ahead before I spend a few nights in New York, couple nights in Vancouver, then home bound for Australia. I'm not looking forward to going back to a routine life, but I am looking forward to seeing the important people back there & I love my Country. This Phase of my life was just the begining & I am so happy to have had this chance to live <3
*We do not see things as they are, We see things as we are- The Talmud*