Buenos dias all: good news - I am not drunk anymore and can therefore catch up on reporting all my Peruvian shenanigans...it's been a fun week. Will try to break it up into a couple of sections for your reading pleasure... So - to the jungle, the mighty jungle. Well, it all started the night before really...knowing we had to be up at stupid o'clock, a small hardy crew of us decided that getting battered (turns out I am s*** at s***head and paid the price) was a great idea. The lunatic who owns the hostel we were camping at then emerged with a bottle of vodka and a teaspoon and thus it got uglier as we, yes, snorted the vodka. Serious pain but hysterically funny. We then just ipod DJed until 3am, dancing on tables and generally reliving those bonny days of Klute. Somehow cheated the system and woke up feeling fine, if a little shaky, but then had to endure a 2 hour trip into the jungle in what was effectively a milk float for 16 people. It had no sides, wooden benches, and twas raining, so you see, not all sunny skies and tannage here. Anyways, got to the jungle and went walking down a trail with our lovely guide Olivio teaching us about jungle antiseptics and other such natural wonders (we were lucky to get Olivio - the other group had a guy called Adonis whose parents must be living to regret that day they named him). The end of the trail (which we were rather optimistically told would be ok in flip flops...cue me falling over with lots of mud everywhere) was a beautiful little waterfall plunging into a clear pond...proper shampoo advert stuff as I stood under it in my bikini (I did my best with the science bit). Afraid my vocabulary fails me here but swimming around under an Amazonian waterfall is just lush. So - after a little trip down the river in rustic, dug-out canoes, we got to our lodges. On stilts, no glass in the windows kinda stuff, but pretty cute really. Hit the cervezas and had dinner, getting covered in giant jungle moths and other savoury bugs. This was all topped though upon the discovery (in someone's bed) of a spider whose bite will kill you in 20 minutes. Mass hysteria and sweeping of rooms for cockroaches and spiders ensued, and we all decided that sitting in the restaurant swigging more Pilsen was the best plan, until Olivio suggested a spot of midnight cayman-spotting )like mini crocs). So our giggling crew shipped off in the dark...of course, no caymans to be seen (drunken volume being a problem), but bloody funny.