Now that Bird Flu has clearly reached the human population it is fortunate that our preparations for Africa are well advanced.

Showing considerable bravery I (Ralph) endured a second round of jabs recently (without fainting) though the £140 for the Hepatitis B course had both of us feeling dizzy. A further £80 for Yellow Fever jabs awaits, we'd better get some of these diseases after paying so much for them!

The house interior has been re-painted in white throughout (we had a bout of snow blindness but got used to it) and is so clean that Howard Hughes could have moved in without gloves on. Hopefully prospective tenants will be suitably impressed, an American couple are interested in an 18 month rental, so fingers crossed.

The obvious indication that we are getting nearer to departure (apart from a signboard saying "Toilet" in the garden, never employ a dyslexic estate agent by the way) is that our wine rack is nearly empty.

Angela is insisting that we eat the tin of hotdogs in the back of the cupboard that probably returned with Shackleton from his Antarctica expedition. Our last meal is going to be a fascinating combination of Canadian Wild Rice (does it ever soften when cooked?), the aforementioned hotdogs, chickpeas in brine, a jar of baby gherkins with a sell-by date older than Rob Hale and a tin of beef consomme. Better option would be to take them to friends' houses instead of crisps and wine (sorry Steve and Emily).

I finish work on 18 May and Angela finishes on 24 May despite my best attempts to get her to work to lunchtime on 13 June, the day we fly out to J'burg. For those of you who can't wait to see the back of us, that's 53 days, 19 hours and 33 minutes away.