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So not wanting to travel NZ just yet as that is planned for Feb with Matt; I (TOM) bought a ticket for nearest place which isn't Australia (that's saved for March); Tonga. Actually I had planed to go to Fiji but it is twice the distance/price and I figured Tonga has got to have palm trees and beaches!
NZ is very scenic but at the end of the day it's very English. If I'm honest I could be in an unusually sunny English city. Tonga on the other hand was very different!
I flew with Air New Zealand and as I sat looking out of the window watching the sun set over the pacific enjoying a glass of wine and the finest ice cream I've ever had I though I could get into this travelling malarkey!
Stepping off the plane the humidity hit me like a brick wall, even at 7pm. The 'international' airport was hilarious. There was one customs official and a dog which looked more accustomed to chasing cats than hunting for drugs. I was greeted by a driver from my hostel who, after rambling something in Tongan, thrust a set of keys in my hand and gestured to go sit in a van. 10 minutes later I was still sat in some blokes van with his keys in my hand all on my own….this was not England!
Within 5 minutes of arriving at the hostel I joined a Kava session. Kava is the south pacific answer to alcohol, water strained through the pulp of a white root. It looks like muddy pond water and tastes a lot like I imagine muddy pond water to taste. Its only redeeming feature is that it is served in half a coconut. Other than making my tongue tingle slightly it didn't have any effect at all. I'll stick to a fine wine any day.
My one bed in a 3 bed dorm was only 4 pounds a night and looked it. The walls were various shades of green and damp from the constant humidity, the floor crunched as you stepped on little millipedes and cockroaches scuttled into the corners when the light bulb made a half hearted effort of brightening the room. It had a delightful prisoner of war camp feel to it and that's before I even opened the shower door. On the plus side no one stayed in my dorm for most of my trip, well no humans at least.
The Kingdom of Tonga consists of 4 major islands. Tongatapu is the main island and plays host to the capital city of Nuku'alofa and airport. I had planned to island hop but this turned out to be prohibitively expensive so I stayed on Tongatapu instead.
The capital 'city' is the size of a small town in England and has the general appearance of being dirty with rubbish everywhere, mud roads and buildings collapsing in on themselves. The main feature is the daily market selling fruit. To my astonishment bananas picked from a tree down the road are the same price (if you look at the nice quality ones) as bananas in Asda or Tesco! How! Tonga was surprisingly void of tourists; it seems most people go to Fiji. Perhaps as a result everyone says hi to the white folk and taxi drivers learn who you are. Actually that's a lie, they say 'bye' which is slightly disconcerting.
On the first day I joined two fellow Aucklanders (One called Billy from Manchester) and hired pushbikes. Tongatapu is pancake flat rendering cycling a breeze. The three of us ended up down a muddy track ploughing through a plantation before eventually reaching a cliff which we scaled down in our determination to find the perfect deserted beach. We later found out all beaches were largely deserted.
We headed to a Tongan café the following day for breakfast. Lamb curry with pancakes was served. The lamb was pure fat intersected with lumps of bone. It was accompanied with cassava, a white root vegetable. The pancakes were round, tennis ball sized but that was the last of their worries. They were pure balls of deep fried dough coated in sugar. We couldn't stomach one but looking around the Tongans were ploughing through plates of them. Probably explains why they are all huge. The curry had the last laugh, giving me awful food poisoning the next day.
We attended Mr Tonga that evening, a bit like Miss England but with men (dam). The event was hosted by two drag queens flown in from Auckland, which made the very Christian Tongan contestants very uneasy much to our amusement. Although it also made me and Billy rather uneasy to, as we were sat to close to the stage for comfort. Nevertheless, it was an unforgettable night.
It rained for the next few days, proper monsoon rain, so we spent most of the time sat in a café, with yet more dubious food.
On Sunday morning Tongans go to church. On Sunday afternoon Tongans to church. I went to a tattoo parlour. Don't panic I wasn't getting a tattoo. I went for the ride, accompanying an Australian couple and a Kiwi. The Aussie wanted a Tongan tattoo, I had a distinct feeling it was not going to be a clean white sterile environment. I was not disappointed! The tattoo parlour was a shed probably held together by the washing hanging from it and the mud stuck to it. Outside was literally a mud bath where pigs and half naked children wallowed. Inside was no better. Without even the certainty of a new needle the Aussie unbelievably had a tattoo. This was not the white beach, blue seas and palm trees I was expecting but probably more memorable.
Later in the stay I joined some other travellers in hiring a car which afforded the chance to see the whole of the island. Leaving the capital the island is covered in miles of plantations and palm trees and that's about it. I attended a cultural show in caves one evening. Yet more interesting food was consumed, raw fish, diced octopus, seaweed (which popped in your mouth as you ate it) a whole pig cooked underground, and various root vegetables (cassava, taro, sweat potatoes). This was followed by traditional Tongan dancing, including fire dancing which was very impressive, at least until the bloke failed to catch the burning stick and it landed next to me (I really must stop sitting at the front of things).
The rest of the trip was spent sunbathing, snorkelling and swimming on a tiny nearby island called Pangaimoto. This island really was like the TV images.
My tip to Tonga was fantastic, and has given me the taste for more travelling; unfortunately I now need to work for the next 3 months to pay for it.
I have started work at a camping shop in Auckland central called Kathmandu. Serving customers on the tills was a new challenge but the novelty of that will soon wear off. Helping customers with advice on the shop floor is still a challenge as I know very little of the technical information about the shoes, jackets, and clothing made of fancy fabrics that do all sorts of clever things. So I'm largely making stuff up. The problem is that I do very little of the above two tasks, rather the time is spent on mind numbing tasks. I spent 6 hours yesterday sticking labels to clothes that read 50% off. As one girl put it "perhaps we could outsource to monkeys?" On top of this I'm paid peanuts (monkeys would appreciate that).
I hope to find a flat this week as I know I will be working for the next few months in the same place. While no cheaper a room in a flat would be a private room as opposed to sharing in a hostel dormitory.
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