I guess the end is happening before it even begins. Tomorrow I head back home and can't even manage to actually do this anymore. I can't even begin to express the level of failure I feel with this because I know it's been just over a week but nothing is helping. I mean yes I've actually been sick this week with the cold and barely moved out of bed but the fact I'm in a strange place feeling this way and nothing is remotely changing I feel I need to be able to do this at home at least where I can feel semi comfortable feeling how I am. It's just not fixable and things are just getting worse. So I don't know what else to say. Guess it's time to face facts that this isn't going to get better and somehow manage it in some way.