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So, we had arranged a three day jeep tour across the border from Chile into Bolivia, taking in the high desert, altiplano and eventually the main attraction - the vast salt flats of Uyuni. We selected an operator from the myriad available and, mindful that none are recommended, headed off for the Bolivian border where we would pick the tour up.
I have to point out that Bolivians are nearly as notorious for their driving as they are for the ugliness of their women. We were therefore quite happy when we met our driver Noel, who turned out to be OK behind the wheel.... at least for the first day. So off we sailed aboard a battered 20 year old Toyota Landcruser into the baking desert.
The first day was great, visiting various flamingo filled lagoons, gesers and some nice hot springs that we could paddle around in. Incredible scenery! The only gripe was that the day finished early, around 15.00, at a ranch in the middle of the desert, miles from anywhere. Still, me whiled away the rest of the day playing cards and gradually getting colder, until we hit our respective sacks at a responsible 21.00.
The following day was more of the same; beautiful lagoons, trippy lunar landscapes and power ballads on the stereo. Noel's driving was deteriorating, we suffered two punctures due to hitting errant rocks, though we had a laugh changing the wheels. How bizarre to be in the middle of god know's where, changing wheels with Starship banging out on the soundsystem! We spent the night in what was billed as 'The Salt Hotel' but in reality was a corregated iron building with some bricks made of salt, butl was a good place to rest our increadibly sore arses and take in some gristly Bolivian food. We also endulged in some alcohol, though the mixtue of high altitude and low quality beer ensured another early night.
Day three and the main event - the salt flats themselves. I'm not sure what Noel had been up to during the night, but I very much doubt it was sleeping, as by now his driving was completely erratic. We nearly left the trail on numerous occassions, ripped the wing mirror off an oncoming car and Noel spent more time staring vacantly out of his side window than out the windscreen. How relieved we were when we hit the vast expanse of the salt flats.
The Salar De Uyuni are the largest and highest salt flats in the world, some 600,000 squared kilometers of flat white salt and up to 700 km across. We stopped for various photo sessions and on a rock oasis before tearing across the flats toward the town of Uyuni, which was to be our finishing point. On the way Noel pointed out the spot where a collision had killed 8 toursits the following year. We wondered how two vehicles could collide when there is so much space to avoid each other, then considered Noel's driving and realised that anything is possible in this country.
The tour finished with a meal of cold meat and bits of a salad. We said goodbye to Noel and headed off to find some accommodation for the night as the train out was not until the following night. That meal turned out to be a bad one as it kept me chained between my bed and the toilet for the next day.
Several near death experiences and a bout of food poisoning and I have been here for just two days... welcome to Bolivia!
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