Please note that Alex has been editing my comments. A source close to Alex (me) quotes the reason for this as: "He cannot handle the banter". Fin yourself out Winky.

we are here enjoying all the delights of Holly Lodge, have met 'george' your resident pheasant. Missing you but thrilled to see all of your pictures and reading about all your wonderful adventures. keep up all the good play. Aston Villa are rude words, one more home match. Take good care of yourself. much love nanny and grandadxxxxxxxx

sorry i missed your phone call on my birthday,had a nice day watched georgina play football, school team is playing at gay meadow on tuesday in the final and she is captain. Tim is home and we all went out for a meal in the evening. Nanny and Grandad are here they have sat and read every comment and e. mail. took ages. we are taking them out today and then tim is taking them home later on. Glad you caught up with Dave Fairhurst, told Dr. Sparkes, they are going to Vietnam with him next year. hope to hear from you soon, take care love mumxxxxx

Blues & Albion both relegated yesterday. Shame!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

whats on fun boy!?! you spent all your money and ready to return yet? how is woodsy tell him im with birdy and suporting leeds in the playoffs!

villa are so lucky to be staying up, terrible team still failing, word is that they may be deducted points tho for only having one song - "villa villa villa" is wearing a bit thin now and the premier league have quite frankly had enough! on the up side pompey are staying up - what a team!

rooney has gone and broken a bone in his foot, probably because he wears those pansy boots of his, sven has been on the phone already and i said im willing to go to the world cup on the condition that i get to play up front with crouch!

you best be finding yourself a cheeky bar for the champions league final - gonna be the biggest moment in the histiory of english football when terry henry lifts that cup and then announces he has signed a new 4 year deal! apparently birdy and pippa are defo seeing each other properly now, i think the things she likes best about him is that he airs his sheets and drinks lots of water!
must go now, rachyb is on about me taking her out for dinner somewhere tonight, id be quite happy with a lil takeaway and a dvd night, but its just not good enough for her, so id better jog on and keep her happy.

take care mate

adi x x x

Hi alex, just got onto your website after having problems, eddy sorted us at last. Please keep safe luv Katie. Italy is going to win the world cup - luigi. Villa 0 - Man City 1 , what happened. I am doing well in my football doing cool hairstyles and hope you aren't liking the girls luv Luca. Liked your pictures we missed you when we went to padstow on the beach and eating pasties luv luisa. I am doing well at rugby and got man of the match over easter. Daddy and I went to a club in Glos and daddy had plenty to drink as they came home by coach - Marco. Hope you are fine and we are missing you and you look like you are having a brillian adventure. We will be sending you more messages soon. Love all and trixiexxxxxxxxx Up Villa!!

Hey Alex,
Just spent the last hour looking at all your pics and reading your stories! It made work go a bit quicker and has kept me so entertained that i have forgotten to go for my lunch break! (ooops, Is that possible?..lunch is bout the most exciting thing here at the mo!)
I am sooooo jealous, sounds bloomin fantastic!
Love to Mudsy if hes still with ya, keep keepin us updated, love lots Woofy xx

ok enoough im sat here feeling proper jealous all your lil travels think im getting that same sick feeling as duncan teehee!!!!it all sounds amazing and keep coming with all the photos, esp take picis of all the crazy people u meet along the way yay!!!ohhhhh well it same old stuff happening here really nothing to exciting, apart from liverpool making the final for the fa cup amazing and were gonna miss u boys next weekend us girls r bopping it up big stylie wooohooooo we will be drinking some cider n black n 4 u both yay!!!!!say ello to mr woodsy love u all, n keep eating the curries yum yum hehe xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I\'m not sure if I beleive Conrad wrote that message I think it may have been Birdy, but Conrad drop me an email you mess. Hope all are cool x

Ha ha ha good banter woodsy, but let me tell you lot something! Though woodsy may have done some travelling before.... i havent a scooby how he managed it i.e (manicure set, face moisturiser and various types of hair gel). If i had known i would have spent a week in a beautians to acclimitise.

Nah only messin we're both havin an awesome time out here and appreciate all the msgs!

Conrad where's the love? Do i have to be your gym buddy and protein shake partner too if im gonna get some attention!

Anyway keep in touch, and hope everyone is well!
xxx

its the uphill mess here!!!! just bolted another protein shake to make my guns look big. some day i want to be as mashoofing as birdy is, he kicked my arse last night in a gun off and then he beat me in a race over 20 metres, he is f***ing rapid now, ive never known him to go the gym as much as he does now he really must be trying to impress pippa, i defo reckon he signed up for the long hawl. anyway got to go and cause havoc elsewhere, probally round my doris's house.

im really missing my boyfriend woodsy but i couldnt really care about you winky,

loves and hugs

conrad (Mess) Jones

Alright!

Now I've done a little bit of travelling before, and thought this trip would be easy, but let me tell you something- if I'd been mugged and beaten and lying in a sewer with pigs in India, it still wouldn't have prepared me for travelling with Winky Pollard.

But I'm surviving. Big hello to all I know. Luke- cheers for taping deal or no deal, I'll get bang on it upon my return. My Sudoku skills should be nicely honed by then too. Birdy I'll give you some more gruesome updates soon as.

Hope all are cool, come on the Palace in the play-offs x

p.s. for Alex's family, he's not really as bad as I make out. Honestly. No really, that wasn't supposed to sound sarcastic... ;)