Boys, Boys iam getting increasingly alarmed by the numerous reports from you that somehow my little alexander took part in the reported alcoholic debacles, this iam sure is not true and that you are all making this up, you all seemed such nice boys when you visited us, appearences are obviously deceptive, please don't sully his excellent character.
(seriously i am loving hearing all about what went on in that beautiful city of exeter and if will give me plently on amunition to use on alex's return - keep up all the gory details and please keep hold of any photographic eveidence.

its 'the mess' apparently here.
There i go speaking about my guns and lack of gas again... a little bird (get it!) told me that it was u darcy abusing my good name on this board. This i find shocking as my once beloved housmate u would do such a thing. Was it because i never texted u back after u wanted to meet up for a drink? Sorry was revising and had my phone on silent at the time... Birdys probo told u the truth but thats my story... As for gas, i seem to remember very hazily destroying u at birds birthday round of pub golf, albeit with a ripped hammy 20 metres down the line. And in the words of birdy 'i could gas anyone over 20 metres', well, maybe not everyone but defo u. As for rugby talent and ablity, i might not, ive never even tried it, but at least i havent been playing all my life still stuck in that little bubble of bo11ocks u find ureself in.
On a more positive note vodka club sounds good this weekend, as co-founder im more than keen to re-ignite than once famous saturday afternoon pastime... Oh yeh, hey winky and woodsy, i hope ure both good blah blah, nice picture winks, been a bit drunk have we? would say more but ive chatted to u both quite a bit on msn so ill leave it at that. Hope its still going wickedly and that u have a good time in cambodia and everywhere else u find ureself. keep on sending pictures woodsy, they always lighten up my now dull revision based days...

Hello alex. I am indeed still alive, thanks for asking. Good to see you are having a great time on your travels. Things back in shropshire are pretty standard. I even went to liquid the other night! I am still in the lab yes, so no i havent sorted my life out yet. Think im going to try and give this one about a year before i quit. I have started playing alot of squash tho (once a week, which is enough!) which is good. Been playing with paul, griff and adam on a bit of an all day thing on mondays. Didnt play to well this week as i was still recovering from the last week of all day squash. Have to give you a game when you get back. You planning on meeting up with mark when you get to Australia? He seems to be having a good time down there. Anyway, take care mate! Let us know how you are getting on!

boys boys boys. I will defo be down ex this weekend, im well looking forward to a couple of shandys and season five sex and the city, top stuff. I will see if i can revive any traces of vodka club at brook green, however, i dont fancy my chances of getting a kabab up the wall unless im prepared to top and tail with birdy and pippa for the rest of the weekend. Birdy, after all the banter you have handed out about girlfriends over the last couple of years, what goes round comes round and its happening big style boy, you are in for it! IM HOOFING!, YOUR GIPPING!, IM ESSENCE!, oh yes sorry dear ill hold your hand up to the station, whats that, London you say, of course ill just get my map out of the north to check where it is and ill be straight up there now my true one and only............bring on the bank holiday xxx

have you just been informed that i have got to accompany pippa to the police station tonight so she can give her documents in or some B0110cks like that for speeding. im hoping im not expected to bail her out as im in for a heavy weekend and cant afford to tap into my cider and stella fund. whats the craic? who leading in the stats competition? woodsy hope you are doing me proud son, my moneys on you bring that trophy home! lukes coming down this weekend hopefully for some bop banter but theres rumors of half sesh and amy coming down so he might get sucked into bottles of wine and sex and the city re runs at brook green terrace. i honestly dont know whats happend to the place? brook green terrace used to be a horrible drinking den where VODKA CLUB was born! some of the most memorable moments, the mess throwing his kebab at woodsy and messing him and spraying the wall, or the tandom urination sessions, one in the sink, one in the shower, one in the toilet and one in the B.D! or the ultimate when luke found me coming into too dock on the B.D, but he managed to catch me just in time an re divert me. summer ball on the 17th june, hearing rumoros that darcy is up for bombing off the bridge down at the quay, either he jumps or im going to throw him in. not much else is cracing at the moment just sat in libabry computer room pretending to write my coursework about injuries, BOTHERED! one last little bit of baanter before i go, apparnetlyy when i was baggaed at the wedding i told pippa that "she was the most important person/thing in my life and that i dont mind moving to london" i dont remebr if i said that as i was absloutly baggaed.

Laters, Birdy, BsC x

oone again its the uphill mess here. having just bolted another protein shake im finally starting to feel like a jock. i just need to learn how to play rugby now. its ok tho, ive been told that excessively large guns are able to completely make up for a lack of gas/talent/ability

birdy also confessed to pippa that she is the 1 for him and that he will get a job in london so he can be with her. birdy is also rumoured to be taking driving lessons so as to become pippas personal chaueffeur to and from school for when she loses her liscence according to The Valleys Today correspondent daniel vaughn. there is also some shocxking news regarding hazel still keeping a presence on the banter bored. nathan thomas zachary bird is being given personal safety advice from police chief constable barney pascall.

winky i am the real weasle face darce and i must concur that many a time i have found u grumpy and hungover covered in all sorts of strange things in the bathroom of 97portlandstreet. birdy has just been spotted by a talent scout and is about to become the new face of jack wills uk. i have missed your tune anthem way of life however i have learnt how to spell it in sign language. how are the lady boys? luke has not been seen in 2 months and there are unconfirmed reports that his dorris has put him under house arrest. birdys mrs has 9 points on her liscense banter. watford went up so duncan will be happy. i am at present dreaming of punishing the fresh at their stag do, they honestly have no idea whats going to hit them- i havent been drunk and abusive for a long time, stella share prices have dipped as birdy hasnt been on the lash for 2 weeks as have detol sales due to my lack of lashing.

cheers

winky as allways your chat is rubbish, many a time have i found you passed out and on trying to wake you and help you out im meet with a volley of abuse about how it cant possiblly of been you who made the mess, and then you go on to blame birdy for all your filthy actions. im going to get birdy to write on here about the times in kavos, since he shared a room with you im sure he has seem more than most of your filthness!!!!!!!!

You sound as if you are having the time of your life - but luigi says becareful. Luca has got a big football trophy and medal from his football league they won 18 out of 18 games and event the six aside match. Getting reading for half term, Just seen photos of Gina - well she looks stunning - luigi asked her out for a meal. Luisa is doing a show in the lounge of dancing. Marco is doing nothing as usual. We have got a big Italian flag ready for the WCup. Luca keeps texting his girlfriend Iona? Luisa has got some spikes for running which auntie sarah bought her. Luigi says get ready for the beating. Carry on having fun and please don't get too drunk!!! Love Katie, Luigi,marco, luca, luisa and trixiexxxx

YEEEEAAAAHHHH WHATEVER WINKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Right first things first, as you may have seen from the msg board, rummours are rife that on one of the nights in Nha trang i ended up quote "comatosed" on the bathroom floor of my room. Now as this person has evidence of me in the bathroom after hours, i cannot and will not denied this obvious fact! However, people who know me better i.e. ex uni house mates (birdy, dunc, and
rob) and no doubt sally will know that this is no cause for alarm and that it is not (and was not as uni) unusual for me after a night out to mistake the bathroom floor for my bed.

So i would like to take this opportunity (before video evidence is provided by the little weasel....cough..cough im mean prosecutor) to quash any rummours im a drunk or that i get myself into a comatosed state and point out that i was merley sleeping here!