As Govenor of the State of California it is a pleasure to welcome you to America.
I was going to call you but I lost your mobile number and luckily I got your web details from Lina and Inna.
Anyway just wanted to say there is no truth in the romour that I asked the mayor of LA to send a Tiger to welcome you. All I said was the lads like Tiger beer and that we should welcome them with a crate or two.
I think the American public will love you as the re runs of Biker Grove are on the BBC America channel and we now have strictly come dancing so Brucie may get more attention but dont worry we Yanks love all you Limeys.
Anyway give some of your celeb friends a call, I know Paris and Lindsay Lohanare dying to meet you and would love to go down on you in town so give the girls a call. Britney may be out of state but you never know she may come back if Brucie is out with you.
Enjoy your stay lads on the golden Coast and our new advert slogan says "find yourself here" or at least at my New Years eve party.
I'll be Back......Arnie
Joey
Hway the lads,
Sorry I couldn't get back to Mama Mias for your farewell party. I decided to go home and check on my house as it was empty over Christmas. Our kid had been staying there recetly as there had been loads of burgalaries but luckily my house was the only one not touched.
Anyway I couldnt get my normal driver "Get away Graham" as he is away in Tenrifee so I decided to take the train. Well when I got to Lime Street two scally's said to me I reminded them of Peter Beardsley in the Newcastle shirt so I saw red and gave them a good hiding. As you both know I have spent a fortune on get my teeth done, false tan and eyebrows re-styled so for them to say I looked like Beardo was an insult.
The bizzie did say may be they meant that I played like Beardo in the shirt but I couldn't see that as I have only played two games. Anyway now at the court and the case is in recess so I thought I would e-mail my two mates. Luckily, I am not lonely in court as our kid is with me as apparently he was the burglar as they found me with a nice watch that he had given me for Xmas which was nicked from number 36.
Enjoy the US of A and if you see Becks tell him I may join him at Galaxy Rangers next season.
JB (8)
The Cheeky Girls
Hey boys
Touch my bum!
The girls xx
Mike Shields
Geordie duo,
Finally I am able to get the internet working in my hotel room. still at the same hotel I have been in for the past two years. I just love the views from my window and the food is great. The lad in the room next door comes round most nights to keep me warm and tell me stories about your adventures.
I am still not happy with you two since I got the blaim for your last record disaster "Concrete nights" and I have had to go into excile since that fatefull day. In fact I am now hopeing the the EU will let me take a lie detector test to clear my name. Only problem is they may find out that I am secretly one of teh cheeky girls.
Anyway finally I have caught up with you and I will hunt you both down and make you pay. Anyway my only travel trip is stay away from Bulgaria as the hotels and bars are crap. People are great though really friendly.
Hate you both.
Shieldsie
Shaun The Sheep (The Real One)
Lads
I don't know who the other poster was, probably Scampi the Sheepshagger. Altho i wouldn't have thought he would know what to say, and he is in love!!
Anyway back on track, i have released a song and on current sales should be number one for xmas. I believe it is the best song in its field.
Have a great Xmas and a happy ewe year. I have decided not to say bah humbug this year and all the family are going to have a lovely dinner with all the (grass) trimmings. What you having for xmas dinner, not lamb i hope!
I am a bit concerned with the record company's idea i should do a colaboration with Snoop Dog, that really worries me!
Anyway, stay safe homies and word to your mother!
Shaun
Shaun The Sheep
Lads
I have taken your advise and released a Christmas song called "Lifes a treat" and its a bit like your old song but much better.
I think its a great song much better than Jay the builders and postman ferg when he use to always be delivering the correspondence.
Anyway lads you can download the record and sing along with me.
Love you
Shaun
Abdenour Samuer
Lads,
I have just left the island in Guantanamo and just thought i would get in touch to see where you are.
I am having trouble walking at the moment but the ehalth farm was good lost loads of weight and you wont regonise me now.
Anyway great to see my two special friends are doing well and cant wait for the photos. That Old Granny i think was also on my island as I lost my teeth also so no how she feels.
Abs
Amy Winehouse
Boys
Over 12 weeks had passed since i sent Smudgio out to get some gear. So imagine my suprise when he showed up the other morning at my appartment with a bag of Flour!!
I sent him right back out down the spiral staircase with 47 steps and awaited for him to return with my stuff.
I was further suprised when i was then arrested for something to do with Perverting. I mean that little pervert Smudgio must have gone to the feds and then done a bunk.
Wait til i gat my hands on the little Scrote!
Ames xx
Jonny Evans
Hiya boys
It was great to see you on Monday night at the xmas bash. That bird was well fit and i knew she wanted a bit of Jonny action.
I was a bit drunk and so didn't get round to telling you how much i enjoyed Saturday night takeaway particularly "grab the slags" err I mean ads!
Got to go now and help the Police with their enquiries, apparently I was so drunk i woke up in bed with a 26 year old who didnt wanna be there and she's grassed me up.
Oh well I should just stick to doing grannies, at least they are grateful!!
Take it easy ant please come and visit me in Strangeways!
Jonny (BadBoy) Evans ex MUFC player
Gay Ellis
Anthony/Declan,
Its gay here just taken time out of my trvels as you know I am in New Zealand at the moment. I did pop back to Goodison last month for a day as the bald prxck for the male cance week.
Anyway all that scenry reminds me of my last week when I had 8 men in my dormitory who were all Sherman. Only way to get in there was to have 6 pints, which gave me a semi then into bed, waking them all up in the process. I am still screwing up the world economy so I thought I would do my own little bit to get them back and I pixxsed in there shoes!
Anyway see you guys soon.
Love you GAY
Marko
Hi Deckers and Auntz, you both look absolutely fabio, as does sergio, haven't seen gibbio for a while but I'm sure he's looking fabio too.
anyway, I'm off to have tea with the queen, but I can't remember where he lives....
Oldgrannio
Hi boys
Just checking did i leave my false teeth by the side of either of your beds at the weekend.
I have lost them and even though Deano is loving it, chewing food is becoming an issue.
Also if you are thinking of getting me a xmas present, i could really do with some "blue rinse" shampoo or some knitting patterns. I am wanting to knit a fishermans jumper for Deano as his old one has got a hole in it!
I'm off to the Autumn Club meeting now for tea and a country slice.