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Hello there,
I've been looking forward to writing this mail for some time. I've messed with the space time continuum and appear to have ended up in a departure lounge in Santiago airport in a kind of never never land. I should make it clear at this point that I have little or no idea what time of day it is or when this day started so I can not guarantee this mail will make sense in all places or that my day dream hallucinations may not take over.
I left New Zealand (NZ to those in the know you know) at 6pm, flew for 10 hours and then landed in Santiago at 1pm the same day. I've been trying to work out these conomdrums in my head but disturbing amounts of sparks and steam are flying and this is, well, discouraging. Besides a hamburger with gratuitous amounts of guacamole has ended all thought processes. So, I have five hours here that i've already had before and they've both been spent at airports. So I've been 10 hours in airports today although today is 40 hours long and I've only ever strictly been in an airport for five hours. Are you following. All this is to disregard the 10 hours of flying which to be honest I don't know where to put. I've decided it's nowhere time, a kind of "never happened time" Mr Spock. This means my day will only be 30 hours long which is altogether more managable, but when my life is totted up at the end St Peter will be grappling with those 10 hours, they've got to go somewhere. As it included watching a particularly bad Steve Martin film I am quite happy for it never to happened*. End of.
Marty, you've got to go back to the future. It's your kids.
So, yes, New Zealand then. Here's the quick Google Earth name check. Christchurch, Lake Tekapo, Queenstown, Franz Josef Glacier, Westport, Nelson, Kikoura, Picton, Wellington, Tongariro, Lake Taupo, Rotorua and Auckland.
I have to admit it didn't start off to well. After four months in the sun it was an uncomfortable change of scene to arrive in an early English winter replete with snow! Furthermore Christchurch is very reminiscent of an English town, say Maidenhead or Guildford. I am probably being a little unfair here however I had previously been wandering if I was missing Blighty a little bit, now I reassuringly discovered I am not ready to go home yet! However it's all's well that ends well. Have you ever heard of someone who's being to this astonishing place and not loved it? Well, exactly. NZ has an other worldly feel to it to match its other worldly location. The mountains are picture book, the volcanoes, hills, valleys and rivers are straight out of Middle Earth. The trick is in its fantastic arae of landscapes. Glaciers next to rain forests, soaring snow capped alps, steam rising from the ground below live volcanoes. It's the Scottish highlands on steroids. Nature's playground; whatever she has fancied doing she has done it. An ocean shelf just off the coast so you can go swimming with Dolphins or a glacier that reaches down to the sea. Ah, go on with you then.
But Doc, how do we do that?
It's a little bit grand perhaps but South America feels like a lost continent. I don't know anyone who really knows much about it. Upon my first five couped up hours little is dissuading me of this. I am little unsure of what to expect or to be honest what is to become of me. For example I have not left the airport because apart from other things the centre of Santiago is currently in the grips of student riots. Good, good. News TV is gleefully relaying the pictures for me, thank you so much. Or take this: If you go to a new service Google has called "google trends" it can tell you what cities (or countries) have most typed a given word in to the Google search engine, type ¨guns¨ and see what city comes up top. And most importantly do I support England loudly or quietly when they're playing Paraguay and I'm in Peru? Still, at least some things can still be certain. Step forward national stereotypes. People speak Spanish so quickly, it sounds just like the old fast show sketch or Spanish TV news. Other great national stereotypes that seem to be true... (and show that my mind appears to be getting more closed!).
Israelis: Very loud and and make great cakes.
Germans: Tall, blond, odd or no sense of humour.
Dutch: Happy, cheerful (probably stoned).
Canadians: Surprisingly many of them. A little bit "you don't have to be crazy to work here but it helps".
Americans: Least common nationality. Many pretend to be Canadian so numbers are unclear.
Sweedish: Like German but not so tall and without the attempt at humour.
English & Irish: Everywhere. Easily two to one out numbering all others together. ME:"Nice hot tub isn't it?". THEM:"Yes". ME:"Where are you from?". THEM:"Maidenhead". ME:"Ah". THEM: "I like to go out at the Ice Bar. Have you heard of it".
What else? No Hobbits by the way but I did meet someone who had a friend who had a friend who'd played an Orc. Well it beat finding out that they like to go out to the Ice Bar.
So, a new photo album on line at www.statraveljournals.com/mrpaulmullens featuring glaciers, Mount Doom, dis-respecting of culture and some blond Danish girls wearing bin liners for Charlie.
Paul.
CREO QUE HE TOMADO UNA DE MAS
* However would it have counted if I'd chosen the Claire Danes film instead?
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