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Hello,
Here's my latest stream of ramblings inconsequential to your lives. If you think it doesn't make sense at any point you're proabably right.
I'm not actually in Cairns, but don't let that bother you. I'm actually just putting my feet down in Christchurch, New Zealand. I say Cairns because I meant to write it there at the end of Australia but ran out of time. Surprise.
In turns out Australia is quite big really. Of course it looks of an ample proportion on the map but it's just being modest. It's not a country, it's a continent, which is a curious realisation to stumble upon. In my case somewhere in the middle of the night on a packed 11 hour bus journey with my knees and arms impaled together in a forlorn desire not to be in physical contact with another human being. (I also had my eyes closed to block out the earth shatteringly bad movie being shown*). Obviously what you do when confronted with realising you may have bitten of more than you can chew is that you just go for it even more. In this case that's 1,800 miles in five weeks. A bit of a blur looking back but it all seems to have worked out very well.
Here then is a Google Earth sponsored name check running up the east coast since leaving Brian Bay....Surfers Paradise, Brisbane, Noosa, Hervey Bay & Fraser Island, Town of 1770, Airlie Beach and Whitsunday Islands, Magnetic Island, Townsville, Port Douglas, Cape Tribulation, Daintree rain forest, Great Barrier Reef and Cairns.
I'm going to try and be anecdotal and mildly amusing about general life on the road now. Remember it's all in the timing so if you don't like it it's because you're reading it at the wrong speed - not my fault.
The English language in Australia is a case of evolution in action it seems. It shows how a language can evolve if it's taken 10,000 miles from its origin...and placed in the hands of people whose state of mind can not be entirely unaffected by being punished for stealing a loaf of bread with deportion to the other side of the world on a boat with only wafer biscuits for six months...and then left to dry out in the sun with only a Kangaroo and Home & Away for company. It seems like the English you're familiar with but it's not quite. For example, place names...
1). Townsville. Take a moment here. This means "Town of Town". It was founded by a bloke called Robert Towns. Did he not realise?
2). Town of 1770. Exactly as it's written on the map. Apparently it changed from its original name to "Town of 1770" in honour of Captain Cook landing there. The beauty of this being in the detail: this was not the actually first place he landed but only the second place. How about Wembley as "Town of 1966" or Reading as "Town of 2005/06" (geddit?)?
3). Surfers Paradise. Similar to above but sounds even more like a themed zone in Disney Land. This place was also renamed years ago to get tourists in. This time they chose the name of the main, and only, hotel in town. The hotel has since burnt down and there's a tacky shopping mall there now. Now, that, Ms Morrisette is ironic.
4). Cape Tribulation. Captain Cook (surprise) ran aground here. What a great word though, time to ditch over used "terror", "tragedy" and "trauma", bring back TRIBULATION. (although Ceefax may have trouble).
5). Esplanade. Used for any sea front walk. How about that, words that were all the rage in 1832 have survived an ice age and actually sound quite good.
6). Hotel. It's more often than not a pub. The English are confused but probably nothing compared to the French.
7). Liquor. Not booze, not beer, it's liquor (or "getting Liquored"). Again, intriguing to find a language that mixes inspiration from Dickens alongside Little Britain.
As that took up more space then intended here is my abridged guide to creating a typical Aussie sentence...
Bruce: G'day mate eh? You's real little ripper dis arvo eh?
(Hello. How are you this afternoon?)
Brucey: Fair dincome mate eh. No worries eh.
(I'm fine thank you)
Sadly neither Mark nor I were able to win Aussie word bingo in the whole seven weeks here as we did not here anybody said "flamin' gala".
When you've eventually/ever read all that there are a set of new pictures on line to kill more time on line at www.statraveljournals.com/mrpaulmullens ("Brisbane to Cairns").This month's cultural highlights include Steve Irwin (legend) pretending to be a bird and the adverse results of drinking games and clothes swapping.
Paul.
* If you have looked down the page for this asterisk you are bored enough in the office to want to know that the movie was. It was called "First Daughter" and starred Katie Holmes. Watch it and weep.
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