Day 40

We jumped on the coach and embarked on a 10 hour mini bus journey to the Laos/Vietnamese border. Still feeling bunged up, the journey wasn't great, but it had to be done. We paid the usual "tax" at immigration and got our visas to enter. We reached Lak Xao at 3pm and dropped our stuff into the hotel. Kelly and I went looking for some food and found that this sleepy town didn't have many restaurants, and the ones they had were closed. We found one that was open and were served the only meal, Laos soup. The view from the town is phenomenal, as it is surrounded by giant mountains and the climate matched. Due to a large typhoon and thunder storm hitting the area, the temperature had dropped quite significantly. Back to the hotel, quick nap, and then out for dinner, at one of the only restaurants nearby. We went to bed early, as we had to be up by 630am.

Day 41

The next morning we arrived at the capital Vientiane and went out for lunch. After lunch we jumped into a tuk tuk and went to see the sites of the city. We saw a couple of temples and the Laotian Arc de Triumph. We then walked along a main strip admiring the colonial French architecture and wandered down towards the river. At the river we noticed a large group of mainly women taking part in outdoor keep fit dancing. This is a common practice in Asia, and often the parks are full of people dancing to music. I decided to join in and have a go. Now I'm not a tall bloke, 5ft 10ish, but I towered over most of these people and the photos are quite entertaining…..I looked like a giant. We then noticed an outdoor gym with equipment, that the locals were using, and I jumped in again, an experience and a work out….pretty good. That evening we went out for a "few beers". First we had dinner, a Laotian barbeque, where you cook you own food on a central fire in the table. Half way through the meal the heavens opened again, as they have done continuously since we arrived in Laos. After we had finished we had to walk through the pouring rain to a bar. The bar was about 500m away, and by the time we got there we were all soaked. We ordered a load of drinks and a fun evening started. We ended up at a Laotian nightclub, where we were the only white people. Our tour guide and I quickly made friends with 2 local lads, who invited us to drink with them….they all love a drink out this way. Kelly and the other 4 in the group decided to head back and Will (the tour guide) and I decided to stay a little longer. A couple of hours later, we left and in the car park, a local lad offered us a lift home on his bike. We were unsure, if he had been drinking, but he seemed sober. Within 10 seconds of pulling off the bike was wobbling horrendously and we hit the deck, my arm was badly grazed but luckily that's the extent of the injuries. Will was also a little grazed , but we were okay. Home by 3am, Kelly cleaned my cuts and bandaged me up, and into bed…..shes too good to me. I got out of bed at 12pm, and straight onto the bus to drive to Vang Vieng.

Day 42

We arrived at 3ish and stayed in the room until dinner, because the rain was torrential. We went out for dinner at a local restaurant, and once again I had the traditional Laotian Lab (mince meat and sticky rice). I had a raging hangover from the night before and was in bed early.

Day 43

We were up by 8am and went downstairs for breakfast in the hotel, to prepare for a day of kayaking. At 9am 2 local river guides picked us up and loaded us onto their truck. We arrived at the river, and it was fast….im mean super fast. All the rain had turned the river into rapids. Kelly and I jumped into the kayak and set off, with the others in our group. It was great fun, and a little dangerous. The UK and Aussie government wouldn't let most things that happen in Laos happen. We had been told about tubing, but advised against it, as the river was too wild at the moment, and lots of people die doing it normally, let alone in the current river speeds. As we were paddling, the guides told us that we were on the same stretch of river where the tubing occurs (tubing is getting into a large truck wheel inner tube, floating along the river, and grabbing ropes and pulling yourself into local bars to drink…this is where the danger happens.) I was glad at this point that we were not floating freely down the river at this speed, with no paddle. It would be very dangerous. Apparently the tubing usually takes 90mins, to get from the top to the bottom of the course, today, we were told, it was taking 30 mins. That's 3 times as fast. We stopped at a cave and walked inside. What happened next, is one of the most dangerous things I have ever done. The cave was pitch black, and very slippery. At some points the water was up to our chest, and very fast moving, we had to cling to the wet rocks. For light we were each given 2 candles….candles….not torches….suddenly realisations of the country's poverty flashed into my mind. There were a lot of near misses and near death experiences, but it was a great experience. On the way back out of the cave, we were told, to jump into the water and the current would take us back to our kayaks….at speed…I mean super fast, and there were jagged rocks under the water. All you could hear in the distance was the guide shouting "rocks….lift your feet…..rocks". We kayaked back to the river exit near our hotel and had a hot shower. We then hired bicycles and explored the town. Kelly and I stopped for a massage and then back to the hotel for dinner.

Day 44

Back on the road, and a 7 hour bus journey to Luang Prabang. On the way, Wild Bill, our guide pointed out a local village/town that had specialised boats. These boats were made out of fuel tanks of American B52 bombers. During the Vietnam war, the americans had illegally bombed parts of Laos, in an attempt to kill Vietcong fighters. The Yanks, discovered that after a B52 carried out its bombing mission, it was cheaper to exhaust its fuel, and then drop the fuel tank, than to return to base and refuel. As a result, the local area was littered with empty fuel tanks. The local people discovered these tanks and turned them into fishing boats. It is not uncommon to see these devices of death ironically used by the local people for good and survival. We arrived at 2pm and walked around town to orientate ourselves. We went out for dinner at a night food market, 20,000 kip ($2.20) for a large pork or chicken kebab, and a massive plate of noodles, rice and salad. Heaven!!! We then walked out into a huge night market, and wondered the area for a couple of hours picking up presents and souvenirs for home. Jumped into a tuk tuk and back home to bed, we had a busy day the next day.

Day 45

Up for breakfast, surprise surprise… eggs and bread. South eastern Asia's version of western breakfast is essentially either fried or scrambled eggs and bread. In the ex French colonial countries of Cambodia, Vietnam and Laos, the bread transforms from sliced white into baguette….a nice change, but still bread. I'm looking forward to having something other than bread and eggs to start the day. The silver lining is that it is often accompanied by copious amounts of fruit. I had been having 1-2 fruit shakes a day, whilst in the Mekong region. The fruits vary greatly, Papaya, Banana, Strawberry, jack fruit, coconut. You name it they'll make it, and usually for around 60cents/40p. We were picked up by a mini bus that took us out into the jungle. After a 30 minute journey, we arrived at our destination….an elephant sanctuary and riding camp. We were assigned a rider or mahout and an elephant. Kelly and I were given "Noi" the rider and "Warrong" the elephant. We climbed into the basket and off the elephant plodded. 5minutes into the journey, we discovered that warrong was a bit of a naughty elephant, a maverick, someone who wasn't afraid to break the rules, or as I described her "a nutcase…mental….what's wrong with this thing, oh my god there's barbed wire, and she is gonna throw me into it….she's mad". She was at the back of a line of 6 elephants, and she decided to stop for about 10minutes, and our rider couldn't get her moving. When she finished her strop we continued on our path. We were sat in a basket on the elephants back and Noi was sat on its neck, without a saddle or restraint. Our driver jumped off and Kelly was given a chance to sit on the neck and ride/drive the elephant. Noi let her ride it for almost 30minutes and Kelly jumped back into the basket, when she became knackered. On the way back to the lodge Warrong had another hissy fit and started trumpeting loudly and spinning around. I'm man enough to admit that I went into panic mode. The adrenaline was pumping for a minute or so before I saw that Noi was laughing and Warrong was having a massive pee. She was still storming about on the way back, and I was starting to lose trust in this beast. We arrived back at the lodge and were able to feed the elephants. I was then allocated an elephant…..great it was Warrong….the nutter. Warrong bent her leg and I was urged to climb onto it by the rider. Using her massive ear, I pulled myself aboard. The rider sat on her back and I sat on her neck, with my legs tucked behind her ears for stability. We rode to the river and she walked down the bank into the river. She then ducked under the water, so that the water rose to my chest. So now I am in the water up to my chest, and somewhere beneath me is this massive beast. After 30 seconds she rose out of the water like a demon and lifted me out, it was quite an amazing feeling. At one point I fell in, and was surrounded by 6 elephants all splashing about, it was a little scary. I grabbed Warrong's ear and pulled myself back onto her neck. I was given a large brush and cleaned her head and neck. After 30minutes we returned back to the lodge, by this point I was knackered. We then returned to the town for lunch. There were only 6 left on our tour, and 5 of us jumped in a tuk tuk and drove to a waterfall. The waterfall was beautiful and we could swim in it. There was a rope swing and a couple of jump off points. Back to the hotel and out for dinner. We ate at a small restaurant on the river. After dinner the others and Kelly went back to the market to continue shopping. I stayed and had a beer with Wild Bill. We were having a good old chat, when the wind picked up and the staff at the restaurant started running around and screaming at each other. Will picked up on this and suggested we get going, and left his beer….he left his beer, something had to be badly wrong. We paid, and worked our way back to the market to meet Kelly. Will started jogging and said that the wind was the beginning of a storm. At that point it started spitting and we picked up the pace. Just as we arrived at a bar at the market, it thundered down and all the power went out. We sprinted into a bar in the pitch black, where they had candles and shelter. As we turned back you couldn't see more than 20 feet due to the thick rain. We found a tuk tuk and went back to the hotel. Kelly would return back to the hotel 30 minutes later…..very very wet.

Day 46

We drove to the river and boarded a river boat. We were to spend 2 days on this boat and travel to the Thai/Laos border. The scenery and view from the boat was beautiful, thick forest and huge mountains. Today was my birthday, and Kelly and Wild Bill had snuck a chocolate cake on board, which was a lovely surprise. We arrived at a small town, called Pak Beng and walked to a local temple. After the temple we returned to the hotel and went out for dinner. The restaurant served Laotian/Indian food and Wild Bill introduced me to a drink called Lao Lao….a lethal local rice wine. After a few shots of this, we walked back to the hotel and the group went to bed. Wild Bill and I walked to one of 3 bars in the town, in the hope of watching the Liverpool v Valencia friendly on tv. We met our local guide from the boat in the bar and had a drink. We then met a group of young locals and had a couple of beers with them. They do not have street lights, and so the walk back was slightly precarious. Back home and to bed.

Day 47

Woke up with a slight hangover, and back on the boat. Another relaxing day, and we drove to the Thai border. Into Thailand and onto Chiang Khong, and our hotel. That evening, Wild Bill, a lad called Nick and I went to a bar to watch the community shield, united v City. Great game. 3 large Changs, and a rice wine shot later, and I was at home in bed asleep.

Day 48

On the bus for a 4 hour journey to Chiang Mai. We stopped at a cashew nut factory outlet, where we learnt about the farming process for cashew nuts. We were also allowed to taste around 50 types of covered and seasoned cashew nuts. Back on the bus, and we arrived at Chiang Mai at 1pm. We hired bicycles and explored the town. After souvenir shopping, Kelly stopped for a pedicure and I had a massage. Back to the hotel for 5pm and then caught a night train to Bangkok.

Day 49

The night train lasted 14 hours and was reasonably comfortable. The train was organised into chairs that transformed into beds. A little thai lady popped around at 8pm, and in about 20 seconds turned 4 chairs in 2 beds….pretty impressive. Before I went to bed, a couple of the lads and I walked down to the food cart, where we discovered a mini party. A large group of middle aged dutch people were getting drunk and we sat next to them for a bit of entertainment. Back to our carriage and to sleep.

Day 50

We arrived at Bangkok in the morning, and after dumping our stuff in the hotel, we went out for breakfast at "the British café". We had a full English breakfast and watched the London riots on the news. We then hit the Kosan road and MBK shopping centre to pick up souvenirs, before heading back to the hotel to prepare for our flight.

Day 51

Back to the UK and 3 weeks to recharge our batteries.