hi you two, have been following your adventures and sent some messages but they haven't appeared on here so here's trying again. What you're doing is great - so intersting - can't wait untill we all meet up again

We're fine. Seems strange not to be doing the strawberries after more than 20 years but we had 3 horses arrive last week so that's fun. Ross and Joe both got promotions at work and Mia and sam are just wonderfull

Much love Martin and Julie

p.s Lauren sends her love

The bamboo is growing at the rate of about 6 inches each day as we enter the rainy season. "Jungle weed" is how one visitor described it, but most people like the lush green leaves as it provides shelther from the sun and the wind. The rest of the garden also grows phenomenally and it is a constant battle to keep it in check. The banana plants, which I bought about 9 month ago when they were about 18 inches tall, are now about 4 metres high!

Despite it being the low season, we have more bookings for the bungalows until the middle of August. They won't all be occupied all of the time, but the income is a boost to the coffers and will help pay the electricity and staff costs through the low season. Overall, we are on target for a 30% increase in revenue at the end of 1H09 when compared to the same period last year. Not bad, when tourist numbers have fallen, and over 120 hotels and guest houses in Chiangmai are up for sale! Its good for tourists, who can get a really good deal. The best we have seen is 5 pounds a night for a room in an upmarket guest house with the second night free! (They hope to sell you one of their expensive tours and hope you don't notice!) global recession, fear of swine 'flu, political uncertainty and the closure of Bangkok airport last year, all add up to a sorry situation if you rely totally on tourism for your income. So we are fortunate to have a rising membership of locals, as the annual subscriptions mean there are always contigency funds in the bank. Until something unexpected happens to wipe out the balance!

Have you heard these before?

A mother was getting her little girl ready for bed when, out of the blue, she suddenly asked, "Mummy, why are some of your hairs white when most of them are brown?" The mother replied, "Well, every time you are naughty or make me sad and want to cry, one of my hairs turns white overnight."

The little girl thought about this for a few seconds and then said, "So how come Grandma's hair is ALL white?"

***

A junior school class had just had an end of year group photograph taken and their teacher was trying to encourage each of them to persuade their parents to buy a copy. "Just think," she said, "how nice it will be when you are grown up to look back at this photograph and be able to say, 'Look that's David - he's a doctor now, and that's Sally who now reads the news on television."

"And there's our teacher," a little voice piped up from the back of the room, "She's dead already."

***

A teacher was explaining about how blood circulates in the body. "Now, as you know, if you stand on your head, the blood rushes to it, and after a few seconds your face turns red and you have to stop."

The class all nodded their heads in agreement, as she continued, "So when I stand up, can anybody think why the blood doesn't rush to my feet and make my toes go red?"

Without hesitation one of the boys exclaimed, "Because your feet ain't empty!"

Hi Both

Thanks for your recent email.

Family weekend went very well - it was a lovely, sunny day so we were in the garden all the time - table under the weeping birch.

Keeley looked lovely and her engagement ring is very similar to Hilary's except it is not all diamonds - at rthe centre of the 'daisy' is a sapphire. Terry and Linda came the day before and we enjoyed a day with them before the party. Derek came with his new lady, Linda, who seems very pleasant and Joel and Edward continue to rag James about him asking for more lettuce ( to impress Hilary) when he was about six - he pointed out that the joke was wearing thin as he is now thirty! Even grandad Peter joined in the badminton, but his balance is not so good now (he's 85 and 3 vodka and tonics) so he had a bit of a tumble, but was fine.

We visited Alison's school on Monday and were made very welcome. We spoke to the whole school at assembly (they were very well behaved, Ali) about your VSO adventure and read them selected pieces from your blog.They loved the bit about the locals spitting betel juice! They are having a non-uniform day tomorrow to raise money for your PNG computers and all seemed very keen to take part.

Missing you both.

B

Hope my last message gave you little smile! Even "The Guardian" is anti-Gordon these days...

You learn something every day. Today I learned that a "lightener" is a cargo/supply barge. The clue in the crossword was "supply boat" and all the other letters I had suggested the correct answer but I didn't know why! Nothing is so annnoying in solving crosswords as getting the right answer but not knowing why! And in this particular case, Google was less than helpful in pointing me in the right direction!

Your description of your off-on-off trek up the mountain is "A Lesson in Life." but I am not quite sure what the lesson is. "He how hestitates" springs to mind but then so do "Look before you leap" especially off a mountain.

We have had a reasonably good week despite persistent rain. All the bungalows are taken (an invasion of the French determined to get their own back for the battle of Agincourt in October 1415) and we have bookings through August. Not bad when we are in the midst of a global recession!

If memory serves me correctly, it was Bismark (Otto Van as opposed to Otto Man) who declared, "People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war, or before an election."

Pinocchio, Snow White, and Superman are out for a stroll in town one day. As they walked, they come across a sign: "Beauty contest for the most beautiful woman in the world."
"I am entering!" said Snow White.
After half an hour she comes out and they ask her, "Well, how did it go?"
"First place!," said Snow White.

They continue walking and they see a sign: "Contest for the strongest man in the world."

"I'm entering," says Superman.

After half an hour, he returns and they ask him, "How did you make out?"
"First place," answers Superman, "did you ever doubt it?"

They continue walking when they see a sign:
"Contest! Who is the greatest liar in the world?"
Pinocchio enters.

After half an hour he returns with tears in his eyes.
"What happened?" they asked.

"Who the hell is Gordon Brown?" sobs Pinocchio

hi both of you, sorry not left message latley but glad to read that you are both well and enjoying your experiences. Hope alison is better now nothing worse than needing the loo and to find there isn't one!

I am a Granny for the eighth time! Leeroy and Caroline had a little girl Katie- mum and baby doing well, leeroy a little frazzled!

She is now known as the mother who cleared westcliff of drunks! went into labour at top of Hamlet Court Road and they all shot off like beer was going out of fashion!

Take care and hope hilarys plight for computers is going well, we at WGPS, are supporting her venture, so i'm told.

Hi Dad

Great to hear that you can access the blog.

It is a girl- Antonia. I am very well now- healthy and fitter than before.

I'm glad you are going home for Mum's birthday. We'll send a present to Fermoy but whether it gets there is another matter. We are about half way through the time here now. Amazing

Lots of love

Alison

MnA. 11.O6.09

just read your blog dated TODAY (whatever day that is}about finding a little two year old boy. Cant print the blog now because I am using the laptop , and thats not connected to the printer.Last read of Alison being unwell ,asume she is now better.

Will be going to Pauls for Eleens birthday on 9 July. Best of luck, soon be christmas Pa

Hi both

I wish you well on your mountain climb Mike. I have always thought that you have the legs of a mountain climber ( I don't think he's noticed).

Alison's activity seems more in keeping for a person of standing in the community. Why stand when you can sit and why climb a mountain when you can sit and read? " Because it's there!" I hear you say.

But are you sure? Simple, seemingly obvious observations such as this are open to challenge.

Remember that all the observable phenomena associated with the train leaving Fenchurch Street station can equally well be explained by the Fenchurch Street station leaving the train. But whether it appears that you are moving up the mountain or the mountain moving under you it is still a certainty that when you are at the top you'll be knackered.

But enough of you - let's talk about me.

I've been promoted. I am now the choir compere. Well I was until my last performance when I offered them some advice -

1. If you happen to sing a wrong note, give a meaningful look at one of your neighbours - or at the baritone section if they are near enough.

2. If everyone appears lost except you - follow those who appear lost.

3. If you are completely lost, start an argument about the repeat marks or request information from the MD regarding the grace notes.

4. Everyone should sing the same piece.

5. When everyone else has finished singing, you should not sing any notes you still have left.

6. The right note sung at the wrong time is a wrong note.

7. The wrong note sung at the right time is still a wrong note.

8. A wrong note sung timidly is still a wrong note.

9. The wrong note sung with authority is an interpretation.

10. A true interpretation is realised when not one note of the original remains.

I also reassured the audience that there is no definative study to show that Welsh was not originally spoken or sung wiv an estuary accent.

It seemed to go ok - big Sid said he thought it was amusing, but when I said that we saw a different side of our soprano soloist ( we always standing behind her) Fred the Talk thought the remerk a little near the bone - unlike the rear of the soprano. And when I mentioned that 1 You Raise Me Up" was based on the Londonderry Aire and feigned surprise that it was not a french tune (try saying it with a French accent) Music Reading Norman snorted with either amusement or disgust. What fun.

Missing you both

Bx

Ummm.. Well I don't know what I am going to do with all these PRIVATE EYES, the postman will think I'm a right lefty,, a sort of Ian Islop clone at 108.. Thanks Mike! I might try to send them to you but it sounds like you two haven't received our latest food parcel sent to you yonks ago.. There's a special something in there in plastic for Alison to wear..... I hope it works for you two, you can try it out next time you have a shower together.. O'ooo

Anyway you have "got it easy" believe me you wouldn't want to be here at the moment. Every day I wake up to another MP bleating about abuse.. The Telegraph is absolutely decimating parliament literally one in ten of the buggars are falling on their swords and saying "I'll step up into the Lords or take a 65K hand shake and move on"... I'm sooo sorry its all a terrible mistake I ripped all this public money off..

I expect it makes the politicians in Papua look like world class statesmen.. In fact at the moment we just about have the rank of a third world, third rate banana republic with corrupt and feeble people bleating "Its all so unfair" so just thank your lucky stars you are where you are and don't have to suffer all this s***.. God you two are so bloody lucky.. Chasing chickens, listen I've had a horrible week...

Missed you both tonight Cirol handed out a questionnaire and I said "Mike would like more ethnic musaic please" Gaud Mike you always leave it up to me to complain when you're not around to do the hard bit..

"Wildlife is flourishing in your garden, dust upon your floor, we are pretty miserable because you two aint around any more.." A verse wot I wrote for my mate Len Cohen.. I think its uplifting in a dreary sort of way.

Do you like my new up beat style of poetry?

Anyway just stop yer moaning, a little water shortage never hurt anyone and look at it as character building.. Bloody do the job and come Home soon, I'm fed up of feedin your fish and I have no one to annoy!

Can yer tell us if tis worth sending yoos another food parcel yet? Guess its been pinched?

Cheers! You Lucky Buggars!

Hi Mike & Alison

Sorry to hear that Alison isn't too good, hope she's feeling better now.

John, our friend from Australia is over in the UK at the moment and staying with us intermittently while he travels around. Last Saturday he went down to Newquay and spent a couple of nights with Faye, and then hired a car and drove to Bridport for a few nights. Apparently he has traced some ancestors back to that area and is going to do some "grave spotting"! He is back with us on Friday, then off to Ireland for about ten days, and then back with us for about another 5 days before he returns to Oz.

Last Thursday we did the touristy bit - Tower of London, river trip to Greenwich, Covent Garden etc, had a great day but came back exhausted!!

Bob has been busy replacing the fence between us and the Scotts - looks good, but wonder how long it will be before our friendly neighbourhood fox destroys it!

Bob also cleared out your pond for you; retrieved a dead frog from it, and reckons you have about 15 fish in there plus a million tadpoles!!

John took us to the fish restaurant in Leigh last Friday night, another great meal, so something new for you to look forward to when you get back!

Have to go as we are really short staffed this week and have just seen an email come in that I have to attend to.

Love to you both, Sue & Bob xx

It has been very hot and humid in Chiangmai and we have had some spectacular thunderstorms - much better than the laser Light and Sound shows on offer! Thankfully, however, these have mostly happened late afternoon or overnight, so we are still enjoying lots of visitors to the pool during the day.

At long last, Kit's wife Mui is beginning to look as though she is pregnant - although if you didn't know you would probably think she had just put on a little extra weight! Eak's little lad, Note, is no longer as shy as he was and comes and sits on my knee while we sing along wih nursery songs on Youtube! Faye, who started a new term at pre-school this week, would stay in the pool all day if Tik and Feel let her! And Shane, their little boy, has recently taken his few faltering steps - he has absolutely no fear of the water and splashes around with his water wings on trying to keep up with the lap swimmers!

Tai came round with Sie and Sim last weekend. Thep was busy putting the finishing touches to Sie's school uniform, which she has made herself, in preparation for the Big Day i.e. Sie's first day at school, which was Monday of this week. Tai had taken 3 days off work - his first in as many months - so that he could take Sie to school and collect him at the end of the day. We had a jolly time in the pool followed by plates of french fries and barbecued chicken drumsticks marinaded in a whisky based sauce with fresh garlic. Yummy! (In case you are wondering, we cooked the children's separately!)

Hope you survive your travels this week and look forward to the blog entry next weekend.

PS I really must get some new glasses - I read that Alison was wearing a mens dress! But it looks like a very merry nightshirt! The colours would surely deter the cockroaches from approaching... Perhaps, Michael, you could get her a night cap in the same material for her birthday!