Trying to prove himself and see past the drop-off that some fear, Nemo swims out. Fearlessly, of course…but not in one swift movement. He looks back several times on his way out into the unknown just to spite his fearful onlookers. Out as far as he planned to go, Nemo turns himself around to look into the eyes of those who want him to come back. They are the only ones in the ocean who have witnessed the shift from where he was to where he is now. Into their eyes only, he stares. He doesn't swim out in anger or yelling harsh words to explain why, he just simply ventured out in silence, with no explanation. His reasoning is obviously his own to figure out, but Nemo has deliberately exposed himself to whatever is below him, to his left, to his right, whatever is above him, and whatever else could come from whichever of the other millions of angles that are possible. He flips out his fin one last time, and Nemo has successfully double-dared himself into unnecessary vulnerability.
The others see it first, but it doesn't take long for Nemo to realize what is happening. Something much bigger than himself is taking him away. He frantically takes back whatever his intentions were, but that can't really save him anymore. Nemo looks back once more at life before the drop-off. Everything he is taken from doesn't just gradually get smaller as if he were just swimming away himself, it all just disappears at once. Wherever he was being taken is coming fast…at a speed he's never experienced before. Then, only by grace, Nemo sleeps, or maybe just passes out from the harsh realities at hand.
When he next awakes, he is in a different world. It doesn't take long for him to realize that most of which he is in isn't like it was at home. There are subtle reminders of home, but when a closer look is taken, Nemo realizes that it isn't actually the real thing.
There is a view of the ocean. Some see it as only there to taunt, but to some it inspires and motivates.
In a moment of utter desperation and temporary adrenaline, Nemo needs to get out. He needs to prove himself to himself in order to right his wrong. Calling on no one for assistance or accountability, he swims towards and never takes his eyes off the only visible way out: the tank filter. He doesn't look ahead at what is passed the filter, but makes his move despite.
Like before, he speaks nothing of his plan…he doesn't even know the full plan for himself. He acts alone and in the moment based upon his young knowledge. And facing grave danger, Nemo has not succeeded. He needs to turn back, but finds himself stuck. Struggling to fight against the flow, he calls for help as he gets more tired.
One of the fish has been watching Nemo, but just stays unnoticed to observe the actions he takes. This fish is named Gill, and he makes his appearance. All the other fish, and Nemo too, knew that if anyone could save him it was Gill. But with tranquility and maturity, he chooses to watch Nemo figure this one out.
Nemo screams, look at my battle…don't you see my fin? Don't you see that this is my weakness?
Yes child…I see that. Gill simply turns and swims the other way, revealing to Nemo that he, too, has a limp fin. He, too, fights the same battle.
I want to have a sense of sanity or organization before I share my dreams, but I can't really settle myself right now. So just know that God is on the move.Think about your life and how you define God based on your story. I stay in that image for a few moments every few moments to recapture my purpose here. Just as these beautiful young lives sing out to God the Rescuer, I sing my song. And I can't help but to write through blurred vision because of it. I was going to share with you a journal entry, but lost my journal…glory in that. I'm holding onto God who wrote my story; we all have stories to remember and an Author to hold onto.
I could ask you to listen to the playlist that I am playing on my iPod right now…and listen to each word in each line of each song that each artist sings. And the style chosen to personalize the song based on the message it intends. Instead, just remember the lyrics that God has spoken to you through…glory in that. Your journals and your songs will bring us to the same place, although each path taken will be personally and beautifully different.
I spent the week of January 14-20 on my knees, praying for guidance. It was painful at times in many different ways: a lot of waiting, a lot of silence, a lot of confrontation, a lot of weakness. Tears often speak for themselves…so on a couple of occasions I tried to force a cry but shed not one tear. I feared so much losing face to the sculptor of everything I am.
The times where I would do anything other than listen to what I needed to hear were very obvious and very often. I am somewhat scared and a bit embarrassed to say that facing myself was painful, but it was. And I can share that because it is the truth, because God was in it, because God brought me through it, and because my holding back has no use here.
Look at my battle. Don't you see that this is my weakness? But with tranquility and maturity, God chose to watch and let me figure this one out; never forgetting my battle. Sharing with me in my weakness.
Allowing me the fight with the victory in order to prove myself to myself.
That is my song.
All the good, bad, and ugly that went on in the fifteen years of time after David's anointing never mangled or reinterpreted the words of God and His plan in and for David's life. The time finally came for His promise to come to life, and to the fullest it was.
All that has played out in my life thus far has never mangled or reinterpreted the words of God and His plan in and for my life. The time has finally come for His promise to come to life, and to the fullest it will be.