I wrote this when I was in the airport of Rio de Janeiro but I didn't have internet access so I never posted it to my blog, and then i forgot about it, I found it now and I wanted to share it with you guys.. It was nice for me to read it to remember Brazil as I did forget about many things. I hope to return there soon. :)

Rio de janeiro, 7th of July 2010.

It's time for me to leave.

Two months in brazil behind me, last week spent at the beach. Sunday to Sunday, Domi was mad at me for leaving Sao Paulo, she didn't call me during that week, I didn't call her.. Maybe we needed a break I don't know. The only thing she said now before we said goodbye was "come back for graduation" (she graduating as a layer 11th of december this year). I looked at her and there was nothing else to say than, "yes I'll be back", even if I wasn't sure about my return. We hugged each other again,I love her so. I said bye to her brother, and then it was time for me to leave. On my way I turned to look at Domi,She was on her away out..she never looked back at me.

My impressions of Brazil are many. It's a wonderful country, the people are open, caring and always happy and gentle no matter what. My friends live in a secured world, and the first month I didn't see anything about poverty and I did not understand the danger my friends were talking about, until we went to Vittoria.

Vittoria is a small city next to Rio de janeiro. It's all about beach-life, it's beautiful I thought it was paradise. Until we got robbed. Me and Pam, arriving sunday night, hitting the party- a lot of fun.. next morning we wake up early to go to the beach. The took a cab to the central station, later on to take a bus to a Beach nearby we heard were beautiful. We tan, drink beer, taking pictures, laugh, eat and having a good time. We were basically alone on the beach since it's not high season and people are during the week.

We must have looked like real tourists, bikini and shorts, hawainas, Pam had a big beach hat on her head, both of us with sunglasses and I had a Sarong with the stamp of Rio de janeiro around my shoulders. When I think about it, it's like "hey, come and rob me"… But we asked around before we got there and we had ben told it was a "safe" place.

There we were, walking side by side, there is a bike crossing the street basically 5cm from our feet, I though he didn't see us as he came with high speed. Pam goes "ooooh!" and I almost fell into the guy on the bike. Before I knew about it, both me and Pam have been push down to the ground. The boy is around 20 and he screams something in portuguese that I cannot understand, then Pam starts screaming and I see the boy trying steal herbag. Later Pam told me that he said "give me your bag or I'll kill you". When he didn't get what he wanted he start to hit her as she finally let go of the bag. In 15 seconds from the boys arrival, he pushed us, hit pam, and stole her bag. I was in shock, after a while the police arrived. They asked us what he looked like, what he was wearing and about his bike...

Neither me or Pam could remember anything but his face. "If we'll see hi we'll know, we said."

- OK, let's take a ride the police said and opened the backseat of the car. "We think we know who it is, its a boy who always do this things.. but we can't take him in, we need you to tell us it's him…" It was time for a ride in the favela next to the beach. "If you see him, tell us, the police said. We'll take him in straight away and you can hit him as much as you want…."

If felt pain for the people who lives in favelas, I have seen it on Tv, I have studied about, but it's different to see it, to actually be there, the see the houses mad by trash, drugged people, homeless dogs running around, no structure. It's like the place God forgot, people born into a destiny of no future. And there I was with my expensive beach clothes, crying for my friend who lost her bag so that boy could buy his crack for today. To feel no pain? I don't know, but I felt like I wanted to puke.

We never saw him, but I saw a lot of things, and I felt a lot of people looking at me from the street. I was the one behind locked doors, but soon I would get out, we arrived at the police station. it was like a rathole, dirty and barley any lights. We stayed there for maybe one hour, since Pam had no document for the trip home, she had to get a paper saying it's been stolen.

I didn't sleep that good that night. I don't go out during the day, I don't go were there is no people around me. I'm not using bags, I keep everything in my pocket. I don't go anywhere near bikes. I always have a pepper spray in my hand, no matter what time it is. In Vittoria, I was a lot of things I've never saw in Sao Paulo, like drugged kids on the street everyday, people asking me if they could eat the rest of my food when we're in restaurants… people suffering, kids sleeping on the street without family... U can't understand until you see it with your own eyes. Still, I don't think I can understand, caz I know I'm going home. They can steal all my belongings, everything I brought to Brazil. I'm still going home, and my life will be exactly as it was before. I will still have my mother and my sister, our house and a lot of clothes and I'll still spend stupid money on stupid things. However, I hope I will think different and go home with a different perspective on life.

Brazil have mad me think about what I have and what people don't have, how we are born into something we cannot control. I am not a very religious person, sometimes I go to church and sometimes I pray, and sometimes I turn to God, but I would not call myself religious. However, I understand why religion is so strong in Brazil, and I understand why people pray all the time, I understand why you turn to god, especially when there is no-one else around.

Bye Bye Brazil, See you next time! I'll thank my friends and all the lovely people I have met!

I'm still old Marty.. Time will teach you everything you have to know..travel will teach you everything I have to learn about yourself.

I'm not there yet, I have other places to see.. more things to learn. :D

Fica com Deus folks, I love you! I'm going to Europe I'll be back in Sweden in august!