Venezuala - the petrol is cheaper than beer and beer is cheaper than water. You would think that that would be the most bizarre thing about this absolutely stunning country but that is just the tip of the iceberg.

Venezuala has buckets of natural beauty! Just after we crossed the border from Brazil we took a trip into the Gran Sabana which has more gorgeous secluded waterfalls than you can shake a stick at! The region is renowned for its jasper, which gives the waterfalls a burnt orange irridescence. On this particular trip our guide Himie decided that we looked like the kind of adventurous bunch that would enjoy a waterfall walking expedition. Despite seeing signs warning Mui Peligroso - No Swimming we were informed by Himie that sign was only pertinent to those who weren´t accompanied by a neon yellow budgie smuggler wearing muchacho (ok maybe he didnt use those exact words but I maintain that was the gist of his communication!). So off we went into the mouth of the waterfall.

What followed was not a demonstration of my agility and generally graceful demeanour but rather my sheer will not to be swept downstream and into the rapids below. Slipping and sliding, falling and grabbing (unfortunately that was often me with Himie, argh!) the 4 of us skated through the algae from hell. Once we reached the waterfall wall we had to army crawl under this cave like overhang to reach our final destination. At one terrifying point, Rub slipped right onto his arse with the only thing between him and the rapids was my grip - a complete sylvester stallone/cliffhanger moment! Thankfully for him banana man swept in to save the day but I think I can safely say that Ruby boy owes me a drink I get home!

Venezuala doesnt disappoint on beaches either. From what I saw of the Carribean coast, the sand is soft and white, the water pristine and the iguanas are plentiful (they do eat bananas in case you were wondering). Our little concrete hotel was on the beach and so close to the sea that we could here the waves crashing from our bedroom.

Luckily for us our guide Terry is Venezualan so when we went to his home town of Cuidad Bolivar we got to experience what a night out Venezulan style entails. It is altogether a very bizarre affair. People dont got out to night clubs but instead prefer to zoop up their cars with spoilers, blue lights, dvd players, huge sub woofers in the boot and park somewhere, maybe a car park or the street that the mayor of Bolivar created just for this activity and blast out reggaeton and meringue. Take out the ice box and get smashed on beer and rum and then DRIVE home. Or cruise around, beer in hand so that everyone can check you and your car (compensating much?). I got right into this chavvie affair, dabbled in a little bit of meringue and a splash of rum.

But Venezuala does have a sinister underbelly. We had to be buzzed into restaurants in some places and often a newsagents would consist of a small opening bolstered with bars from which the shopkeeper would fetch whatever it was you were looking for. Those who are lucky to live on the affluent side of society seem to live in luxurious prisons (well Dallas style luxury) patrolled by dogs requiring serious anger management counselling. On the other side of town corrugated iron shanti towns are places it is not wise to venture even during the daytime, even for police.

Unfortunately my connection here in Guatemala is nothing short of shocking so i have to end it there. Till next time .........