Just to clarify... the activity category is due to the fact that we ourselves are becoming natural wonders through the growth of something unidentifiable on our skin through lack of showerage, removage of fur from ones teeth (and tongue) and general aviation odours.

Regardless of our general stench, we have made it here alive and in one piece - which is more than can be said for the spanish airhostess Esther attempted to attack in Madrid.

Having boarded José's Tin Pot Plane on time...even with Esther insisting "I wont leave until I'm ready" whilst frantically cleaning out the bunnies...it then proceeded to wait for nearly 2 hours before it finally set off. This made the chances of us getting our connecting flight quite slim. When the gentleman next to us, also bound for Peru, asked the stewardess if she thought we would make it she smiled and said "We shall see."

So, on arrival in Madrid, we ran like hell to the check in desk getting there seconds before it was due to close. The lady told us our flight was due to board in 15mins...the signs told us it was a 25min walk to our gate...more running was required.

The relief of having made it on time to the gate, albeit sweaty and exhausted, was short lived when the lady who took our boarding passes (an exact replica of the lady who checked us in) asked "Where is the paper?" Well we don't have any other pieces of paper and by this point Esther seems to also not have any patience. "No-one gave us any other paper, they gave us this and thats it." She states. "Impossible" pipes in the womans smarmy collegue, "they will have put a piece of paper in your boarding card when you checked in."

I think at this point Es saw red...with fingers pointing in a dangerous fashion she raises her voice, "SHE checked us in and SHE didn't give us anything."

Thinking it probably best not to start upsetting the people who decide if we can board the plane or not I start taking every piece of paper out of Esthers bag full of flight details until they seem satisfied.

Handing us our boarding cards the woman quite put out looks at Esther and states "I did not check you!"

Esther mumbles something about her having a double as we finally board our plane. When I mentioned the whole situation to her later she thought she handled the whole thing quite democratically.

i would just like to add that i pride myself in my demorcratic handling of many situations- this being one of them.