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I've given myself a while to write this but I'm still not sure if I'll get it right. I'll start with a recap. Friday night a group of us went out to dinner at Zizzi's. It took a good portion of the night because our service kinda sucked. We all went back to Regency and hung out there for awhile. Eventually I was the only left and said goodbye to Jeremy. Of course I started crying and I knew that would set the tone for the rest of the goodbye process.
Erika walked me back halfway to Pittville and then it struck me that it would be the last time I make that walk I had hated for so long. It's funny how things you hate turn into some of the things you know you'll miss the most. I went back into my room and grabbed some of the stuff Louise would pack for me in her bag. I hung out with her for a bit and just wasted time. I probably left around 3 and headed back to do the rest of my packing and organizing my room. As I stripped my bed and piled everything that I was leaving behind, I saw MY room transform back into just a room. People have lived here before me and new people will move in again after me. I think this was possibly the moment I knew that I was leaving Cheltenham behind for good and that nothing like this would ever happen again. 4:45 rolled around and I wheeled all my belongings out to the street in front of Pittville where everyone else was waiting. Sandy and Denise soon walked up and the bus came shortly after that. Louise and Lynette had tearful goodbyes with their flatmates. As we drove off I watched the place I called home for the past 4 and a half months disappear. I hated living in Pittville. My room smelled all the time. We were so far away from everyone and everything else. But I cried. I was so attached to the place and all that was running through my mind was that I was leaving for good, that this would never happen again. I took in the sights around me and tried my best to remember them. We pulled up to Regency where we watched Americans and British people cry as they left each other. It breaks my heart to see other people cry and this killed me as I watched couples have to part ways. Basically, the back of the bus was a mess. On and off I would cry thinking about all the things I was leaving behind.
I still wasn't sure how to say goodbye. I told everyone to just let me sleep for 20 minutes on the bus but next thing I know, we were at Heathrow. We were only able to say goodbye on the bus. So I turned and gave Erika W a hug and instantly started crying. Then hugged Emmitt, Erika, Caitlin, Logan, Jess, Michelle, Kati, and Laura. My gosh, I've never cried so much so quickly. I don't remember who all said what but I heard "I'm so happy we became better friends", "I'm so grateful I've met you" "We better stay in touch". I thanked Caitlin and Kati for allowing me to convince them to take a class with me because I had a great time with them. The goodbyes seemed too fast and not meaningful enough. As the bus driver unloaded our belongings, we watched as the back half of the bus waved goodbye. I cried like a little child as I watched the bus pull away.
Sandy came with us to help us with the process. We printed out the tickets and saw our flight was already delayed a half hour. This is where we said goodbye to Sandy. She said that they did their jobs right because we obviously did not want to leave.
So we sat around and did not do much at all. We ate, I cried a bit more, and finally we saw our gate number. We headed that way and sat down. We were part of group 2 so I was already up when they called early boarders because I was not going to have a rough time with my carry on again. We actually got in there pretty quickly and I got that bad boy up there with no problem. Since we had a bigger plane, we had our individual screens for movies. I watched a few but slept most of the time. It seemed to go by pretty fast so I can't complain about that.
Throughout most of the flight it was all unreal to me. After taking a bunch of flights during my time in England, it felt like just one more trip. We landed, did all we needed to do and then greeted by our families with open arms. Now, don't get me wrong, I absolutely love and adore my family but I am having the hardest time readjusting. It all hasn't hit me yet and I'm dreading the day it does. I don't want to forget anything but I know I already have. It's hard to tell stories because I feel like not many people here understand. I'm craving to get back to how life was there but I know it will never be the same. How in the world do I come to terms with the fact that the people who I barely knew, but were there for me during the extremely tough times I had and the overly exciting times as well, aren't a 20 minute walk away? Will Facebook and texting be enough? How does it work exactly? I feel like no one has the answers to these questions and maybe I will be the only one that does, but I know I don't have them just yet.
I feel like this should be my last blog. And I feel like this should be the part where I thank everyone. I don't think I can go specific without unintentionally leaving someone out. So thank you, everyone from the bottom of my very grateful heart. Things didn't go exactly as I had hoped or planned but maybe they turned out even better. I have grown up so incredibly much from this experience. From making my own meals, to booking my own traveling, or to just living day by day in a foreign country, I grew up. This experience is something I will never be able to repeat or compare to anything else. I know I had a hard time leaving Manchester to go, and I knew it meant sacrifices, but ultimately, I knew that those who truly loved me and wanted me in their life would be there for me when I returned. So thank you everyone from home for urging me to go, bullying me into making a decision, being there for me at any hour of the day, and still being here for me like nothing changed. To those that I met while being in England; words cannot express how lucky I am to have you all in my life. What are the odds that we all happened to choose to go to England the same semester? I honestly believe fate made us land in Cheltenham a few hours apart. I thank you all for putting up with me when I complained and for listening to my stories and for making me a better person. I believe that no one in this world is 100% individual; we are made up from the people we have met along our way. So thank you, for being amazing people that rubbed off on me to make me an even better person.
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