Really interesting that how things turn out.

First off, appoximately 3 weeks ago, I was asked to stay with a ridiculous pay cut, shamefully, here with my team of 10, with a 3-month plan on how to build this team up and going. A few days ago, that plan changed. It seems to me that everything "planned" here will be forsaken or altered or postponed for the cause of people working here. Sad to see how my bosses trusting the wrong people, and being so short-sighted - This time, this change kills all my passion here. I see no practical reason on staying now. Ah-Bao said I should stay, so I still have a job. But I know better - I can find a stable job, without so much change in planning, easier to evaluate. Oh well... Why stay then?! He said my boss cares so much about how I feel - well I am grateful about that. Just that, it seems to me that its actually too late. My feelings are irrelevant. I was very uncertain when I was told about the plan. I am so tired of the oh-so-frequent change. I am also so exhausted on dealing with all the people working here, and all the people at posts above me or below me. I am sick of pleasing everyone.

I honestly do not know what i am doing here. I am frustrated, I am lost, I am confused. But who would listen to me?!

The one who cares the most, died. The one who loves me the most, died. Who else is there?! I am all alone.

That one who said he would love me forever, stopped contacting me altogether. One big fat liar.

Not many people I could trust here - except Ah-man or Ah-Bao. I thought I could trust that girl... but it turns out she is a slut, trying to flirt with every men in the room - look how she is when she is drunk - sitting on every laps she found, flirting... Unbelievable.

Sometimes, I just want to kill myself and get it over with. Just because everything is so f***ing annoying here.