21 MARCH 2006 UPDATE..... WELL WELL WELL, WE ARE BOTH ALIVE! WHAT AN EVENTFUL TIME IN CAIRNS SO FAR. TO BE HONEST, ALL WE HAVE DONE IS GET DRUNK AND ANNOY THE HELL OUT OF ALL THE RECRUITMENT AGENCIES. ON OUR FIRST NIGHT WE ARRIVED, OF COURSE WE HAD TO GO OUT. HEARD THAT AN IRISH BAR WAS GOOD TO GO TO (PJ O'BRIANS). SO, WE HEADED THERE AND NEARLY POOPED OURSELVES THAT THEY SOLD MAGNERS (IT WORKS OUT ABOUT 5 QUID A BOTTLE). SO, BEING THE TIGHT ARSES THAT WE ARE, BOUGHT ONE BOTTLE AND SHARED IT. COS IT WAS THAT EXPENSIVE, WE THOUGHT THAT IT WAS ONLY FAIR THAT WE STEALTHE GLASSES TOO! WE FOUND OUT THAT NIGHT ABOUT A BAR CRAWL CALLED THE FROG AND TOAD WHICH IS ON ON WEDNESDAYS, SO WE WENT ON THAT. OH MY GOODNESS, WHAT A MESS! THE FIRST BAR WE WENT TO THERE WAS A GAME THAT WAS MUSICAL CHAIRS (BUT MUSICAL CHAIRS WITH A TWIST!). IF YOU DIDN'T GET A CHAIR, YOU EITHER SAT OUT, OR YOU TOOK OFF AN ITEM OF CLOTHING. FANNY TOOK OFF HER TOP, AND THEN SAT OUT. I WAS DETERMINED THAT I WAS GOING TO WIN, SO I BROKE A CHAIR 3 TIMES IN SUCH A RUSH TO GET OVER TO IT, AND ENDED UP IN THE FINAL WEARING MY PANTIES, AND A BLACK TOP (WITH NO BRA - CLASSY EH?!). I ENDED UP WINNING COS I LAUNCHED FOR THE LAST CHAIR AND BATTERED THE OTHER GIRLIE FROM ONE SIDE OF THE BAR TO THE OTHER WHO THEN SMASHED HER HEAD OFF A HUGE PLANT POT. WHO WAS I TO CARE? I WON THE BLOODY GAME, AND THE GIRLIE WAS A TIT ANYWAYS! GOT $100 FOR MY EFFORTS, WHICH I PUT TOWARDS A REEF TRIP THAT I'M GONNA GO ON LATER ON. ACE EH?! ANOTHER PUB, ANOTHER GAME. I GOT MYSELF INVOLVED IN ONE AGAIN, AND YOU AND YOUR PARTNER (A RANDOM I PULLED UP CALLED ROSS) HAD TO GET INTO RANDOM POSITIONS THAT THE DJ SHOUTED, AND IF YOU DIDN'T, AN ITEM OF CLOTHING HAD TO COME OFF! GOT DOWN TO THE LAST 2 COUPLES, BUT NOT FULLY CLOTHED!!!! THE ROSS GUY ENDED UP COMPLETELY BUFF, AND I ENDED UP WITH JUST MY PANTIES ON. AND AFTER ALL THAT, WE NEVER EVEN BLOODY WON!!! FOUND OUT LATER ON THOUGH THAT THE COUPLE THAT BET US WORKED THERE, AND THEY DO IT EVERY WEEK COS THEY GET PAID TO. GUTTED I'M THAT MUCH OF AN IDIOT! ANYWAYS, THAT WAS ONE NIGHT OUT. WE'VE NOW DISCOVERED THAT WEDNESDAY NIGHTS ARE THE BEST NIGHTS TO GO OUT (AND THE CHEAPEST!). WE START OFF IN PJOBS AT 9PM FOR THE HAPPY HOUR ($2 GLASSES OF WINE!), THEN HEAD OVER TO THIS BACKPACKER CLUB PLACE CALLED WOOLSHED (RE-NAMED THE WOOLPACK BY US THOUGH!) AT 9.55PM COS AFTER 10, YOU GOTTA PAY $5 TO GET IN. WE STAY THERE FOR AN HOUR TO DRINK THE $2 GLASSES OF WINE, THEN HEAD BACK OVER TO PJOBS AND THE REST IS A BLUR! WE EVEN HAVE OUR OWN BOUNCER HERE WHO CALLS US 'TROUBLE' AS SOON AS HE SEES US - I WONDER WHY?! HE WAS THE ONE THAT GOT US 2 YELLOW RUGBY SHIRTS (THINK THERE'S A PIC OF US IN THEM IN THE PHOTO'S). I WENT ROUND THE WHOLE OF CAIRNS PRACTICALLY SAYING TO TOTAL RANDOMS 'DO YOU WANNA SIGN MY SHIRT' OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN! FANNY TOOK IT UPON HERSELF TO SIGN IT 9 MILLION TIMES SAYING, IN DIFFERNT VARIATIONS, THAT SHE LOVES ME?! IT'S LIKE - FANNY LOVES ENNY, FAN LOVES EN, I LOVE ENNY WHYTE, ENNY I AM HUMPING YOUR BACK BABY, ENNY I LOVE YOU?! BEGINNING TO THINK SHE'S A BIT OF A LESBIAN. HA HA HA! ON ANOTHER ONE OF OUR NIGHTS OUT, THIS REALLY REALLY REALLY RUDE MAN WAS SLAGGING US BOTH OFF, SAYING WE DIDN'T HAVE AN EDUCATION, THAT BACK PACKERS WERE WORTHLESS ETC. I GOT SO ANNOYED THAT I ENDED UP SLAPPING THE MAN FULL FORCE ON THE FACE. HE WENT FOR ME, I WALKED AWAY, AND FANNY JUMPED IN THINKING SHE WAS SUPERWOMAN AND GOT PUSEHD REALLY HARD THAT SHE FELL DOWN AND SCRAPED HER ELBOW REALLY BAD. THE POLICE RAN OVER AND GOT INVOLVED AND I SAID 'DID YOU SEE WHAT HE JUST DID TO HER', AND ALL HE KEPT SAYING WAS 'BUT YOU SLAPPED HIM FIRST'. ARSE. THEN HE WAS SLEVERING ABOUT PRESSING CHARGES, AND AT THAT POINT WE BOTH WALKED AWAY. GUTTED! THINK THAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN THE SAME NIGHT THAT WE WERE OUT AND A DRINKING GAME WAS GOING ON (WE WEREN'T INVOLVED IN THIS ONE THOUGH!). A TOTAL RANDOM CAME UP TO ME AND SAID 'ARE YOU NOT PLAYING THE GAME', AND I SAID 'NO', AND HE SAID 'IT'S OK, I'VE GOT LOTS OF PHOTO'S FROM THE OTHER NIGHT IN THE GAME YOU WERE PLAYING'. HA, LOVE IT FOR BEING KNOWN TO GET YOUR BOOBIES OUT IN PUBLIC. OOPSY! WERE ALSO OUT FOR PADDY'S NIGHT WHERE WE THOUGHT WE RULED THE WORLD WHEN WE GOT GIVEN IRISH VISORS?! WHAT AN EARTH WE WERE DOING WITH THEM WE HAVE NO IDEA. THAT NIGHT, ENDED UP MEETING A GUY FROM INVERNESS OF ALL PLACES (ONLY MET ABOUT 4 FOLK FROM SCOTLAND SINCE WE'VE BEEN AWAY, BUT WE END UP MEETING SOMEONE FROM BLINKING INVERNESS?!). TURNED OUT ME AND FANNY BOTH KNEW HIM (SHE USE TO FANCEY HIM WHEN HE WORKED IN THE AQUADOME?!), AND HE WAS A MEMBER AT THE GYM I WORKED AT BACK HOME IN s***NESS FIRST. HOW MENTAL IS THAT?! ANYWAYS, ENOUGH ABOUT OUR NIGHTS OUT. I STARTED A JOB ABOUT A WEEK AND A HALF AGO (MY CV WAS HANDED INTO EVERY SINGLE PLACE IN CAIRNS I THINK!), AND IT WAS SELLING AMERICAN EXPRESS CARDS IN SHOPPING CENTRES. WAS SO WEIRD, COS I KNEW THE WHOLE SELLING PROCESS (PETE PETE BEING A GOOD TEACHER IN s***NESS FIRST AND ALL THAT!), IT WAS JUST A DIFFERENT PRODUCT THAT I HAD TO SELL. HOWEVER, I WASN'T GIVEN A BASIC WAGE AT ALL, IT WAS ALL COMMISSION BASED. STUCK AT IT FOR 2 DAYS AND LEFT. LATER FOUND OUT THAT THE ONLY REASON THE BOSS HIRED ME (OR ONE OF THE REASONS!) IS COS HE LIKED ME MORE THAN AN EMPLOYEE. GREAT EH?! SO, OFF I WENT ON THE JOB HUNT AGAIN. MANAGED TO GET IN WITH A RECRUITMENT AGENCY. HE EMPLOYED ME RIGHT AFTER THE INTERVIEW. IT'S JUST TEMPING WORK, WHICH IS POOPY, BUT THE MONEY IS GOOD (LIKE 9 QUID AN HOUR AT THE WEEKENDS ETC), AND IT'S JUST WAITRESSING. WILL DO FOR NOW ANYWAYS! IT'S NOT GUARENTEED HOURS, BUT IN ONE WEEK, I HAVE BEEN GIVEN 4 SHIFTS WHICH IS BETTER THAN NOTHING I SUPPOSE. ONE MY FIRST SHIFT, I WENT IN AT 6.45AM, AND GOT SHOUTED AT STRAIGHT AWAY FOR NOT HAVING THE RIGHT SHOES WITH ME. THEN I WAS GIVEN THIS UNIFORM WHICH WAS ABSOLUTELY MINGING (TURQUOISE SHORTS DOWN TO MY KNEES, AN OVERSIZED CREAM SHIRT WITH TACKY FLOWERS ON IT). THEN I WAS MADE TO WORK OUTSIDE IN THE SWELTERING HEAT WHERE I WAS MADE TO SERVE THE BIG BOSS OF THE WHOLE PLACE. THEN, I GOT BAWLED AT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SERVING AREA BY A MAN WHO DEMANDED HE GOT HIS BACON AND EGGS. WHY ME?! SECOND DAY, I WAS ONCE AGAIN PLACED OUTSIDE, AND A WOMAN IN MY SECTION CUT HER LEG WHEN A CHAIR COMPLETELY BROKE ON HER. THEN I SPENT THE REST OF THE DAY BEING BOSSED AROUND BY A DRUNK POOF?! THE THIRD SHIFT I HAD TO PHONE IN SICK FOR COS I FELL OVER AND TWISTED MY ANKLE - DOES MY BAD LUCK EVER END?! I'M IN THE PROCESS OF LOOKING INTO WORKING FOR 'CAPTAIN COOK CRUISES'. IT'S A CRUISE COMPANY THAT SAILS ROUND THE GREAT BARRIER REEF FOR A WEEK. YOU ARE EMPLOYED THROUGH THE RECRUITMENT AGENCY, BUT CAPTAIN COOK PAY YOU DIRECTLY. IT'S LIKE $130-$150 A DAY. THAT WOULD SORT OUT MY MONEY PROBLEMS THAT'S FOR SURE! FANNY SAYS THAT SHE'LL BE LONELY, BUT I'M SURE SHE WILL COPE?! THE JOB FRONT FOR HER AIN'T LOOKING THAT GOOD. SHE HAS HANDED HER CV INTO SO MANY PLACES, CHASED UP A CLEANING JOB FOR ABOUT 98 DAYS, AND NOONE HAS GOT BACK TO HER OR ANYTHING. WE'LL KEEP TRYING FOR HE THOUGH. MONEY IS SERIOUSLY RUNNING OUT, BUT I ALWAYS HAVE MY CREDIT CARD EH?! THE APARTMENT THAT WE HAVE MOVED INTO NOW IS SO BLOODY NICE! IT'S LIETERALLY JUST BEEN FINISHED, AND EVERYTHING IS COMPLETELY BRAND NEW. WE BOTH HAVE OUR OWN ROOMS WHICH IS NICE. THERE'S A GORGEOUS SPA IN THE BACK GARDEN, AND IT'S CENTRAL TO EVERYTHING. WE'RE SHARING WITH AN OZZIE GIRLIE WHO SEEMS LIKE A LAUGH, AND A KOREAN COUPLE WHO JUST NOD AND SMILE AND EAT RICE ALL THE TIME! ANYWAYS, NOT MUCH ELSE TO REPORT ON AT THE MOMENT. I WASN'T LYING WHEN I SAID AT THE START THAT WE'VE NOT DONE MUCH! BUT, WE'RE HERE FOR ANOTHER 3 AND A HALF MONTHS, SO THERE IS PLENTY TIME!