Jenny, Happy Birthday for Sunday. Mum was thinking about posting here about the labour pains of 23 years ago but good sense and common decency prevailed.

Don't know if you'll be anywhere where you can pick this message up on Sunday - but we will be thinking of you and may have a small sherry in your honour. Hope you are having a wonderful time and can't wait to hear all about it. Lots and lots of love and have a brilliant birthday. Mum

Hello little one!! We are here in twick and have just stuffed our faces with lamb and potatoes!! Hope you are having fun!
Now this is mum -be a good girl and always ring Sally when you have a problem because you can guarantee that i will be no use at all. Love you lots. Mum XXXX Jenny,this is Dad, I apologise for all the other people writing today, I suspect they may have had one too many. I, of course, am sobre. Dad

Hey honey. You do not realise how unbelieveably jealous I am right now. It all sounds amazing. I'm stuck in a dimly lit cubicle at the moment collecting results for my project zzzzzz. Bring on the summer!!! Hopefully I am off to Oz with Sam to visit his brother. Take care of yourself. x

I am not drinking copious amounts and have been drunk exactly twice in the two weeks i've been away!! The reason for my lack of communication is because it would actually be more simple and technilogically advanced to send a pigeon with a note attached to its foot, I am however I can assure you, still alive and this is not a native cook island called keith writing this note whilst Jenny begs to be released from my basement!

Jenny - Isn't it nice that all this clean linen is being aired in public? I'm off to play football, having just had a bottle of wine at a retirement do. Don't drink too much!

Just for clarification, Kate was trolleyed...
Hope you are having fun mrs! As mum said, I am cooking for her on sunday, so will spend my time between now and then doing shiney sinks and toilet duck etc so that she will not judge me.
love
Sallyxxxx

Oops! just sent you a non-existent message.
Given that you are surrounded by water and consuming quantities of booze, I should be forgivent for being concerned if I don't hear from you ... hope there'll be a message when I come to work on Monday. At the moment just feeling hugely relieved that it's Friday and only two hours left of work. Lots of love, Mum XXXX

I was not "trolleyed" on Saturday night, I was merely a little overtired from all the excitment of the Tirabad reunion. I was however trolleyed on Friday night so you can stop worrying that your drunken phone call at half past midnight woke me up! Am glad you made it to the Cook Islands okay - I have to admit that I was worried that they might not let you on the plane. Presumably your swaying put the check in staff off noticing your green beer moustache.

Am currently counting the minutes till we get to NY tomorrow. Hurrah for cheap flights!

Take care

Kate xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The word 'hangover' seems to be appearing with alarming frequency. I hope you have remembered Mothers Day on Sunday. The only daughter remaining in Blighty is cooking me lunch, but I shall expect your good wishes, electronically or otherwise. Enjoy your snorkelling - Dad has done it and loved it because it involved falling backwards off a boat. We must take our pleasures as we find them. Lots of love. Mum

Cheers ma,

Am well tho have skanky heat rash on my face and a hangover. Still boys staying with us are really nice and we're going snorkelling this afternoon. Hope's everyones well at home and missing me lots!