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ONLY ONE DONG JOKE PER PERSON PER DAY PLEASE
I'm having an absolute ball travelling through Vietnam (though as there are only 4 of us who stay up past 9pm we've decided 'Decrepid' is a more appropriate name for the tour than 'Intrepid') Vietnam is an incredible place. It's very beautiful with huge contrasts in the landscapes yet the scars of the war are everywhere, I've been horrified my the number of landmine victims around.
The driving is also the craziest I've ever seen (I didn't think Sicily could be beaten) - it's like one big game of chicken with the biggest vehicle getting right of way - even in the wrong lane often with motorbikes getting run off the road. On our long drives there are constant cries of 'Oi Choi Oi', Vietnamese for 'Oh My God', from whoever's turn it is to take the front seat - amazingly we've only seen one accident - scarily it was an overturned bus that had rolled down a bank but luckily it looked like it was empty and the driver looked dazed but fine.
The number of things we've done in a short time is huge so to sum up the fun stuff: we've ridden elephants in the rain in Dalat, visited temples, fishing villages and gorgeous beaches, gone on a basket boat, had soak in a mud bath and thermal spring (then accidentally showered in the male showers because we couldn't read Vietnamese - we were wondering why everyone was staring - thankfully it was in bathers), snorkelled in Nha Trang, drank pina coldas and played in the hotel pool in Qui Nhon (our one luxury stop!) and done cooking class and had clothes tailor made here in Hoi An (I've got a work wardrobe for London of pinstripe pants and 3 shirts made to measure for $36 - about 15 pounds!). And eaten so much specatcular food I'm in danger of not fitting into them by the time I get there!
On a more serious side we've visited one of the most inspiring ladies I've ever met. Mrs Nguygen Nga runs an education centre for disabled kids where they learn skills to take them forward. We were seranaded by a blind boy on keyboard and harmonica while a little deaf girl quietly sketched 2 people on our tour with incredible skill. Mrs Nga has one of the nicest energies I've ever seen - she works day and night for the kids but has a huge smile on her face when she talks about the success stories - kids who have gone on to open up their own shops or get good jobs when otherwise they would probably have no option other than begging. The whole thing was really inspiring - the website is www.nguyennga.org if you feel like having a look.
The other serious thing we did was visit My Lai. Now, having been born the year after it ended and educated in England, I knew next to nothing about the Vietnam/American War. But walking around a village where US troop had blindly massacred over 500 people - mainly women and children - was shocking. We watched a documentary about 2 American soldiers who stood up and threatened to open fire on their own side just to save a handful of people and their return to Vietnam on the 30th anniversary of the massacre to meet the people they had saved and saw pictures of one soldier who was so horrified at what his unit were doing he shot himself in the foot just to get out of killing innocent people. But the most confronting thing was seeing an old lady growing veggies on the site of her former home (the whole place was levelled after the massacre to remove evidence) - she gave us all a wide smile and bowed to us as we passed. Our tour guide told us that she is now 84 and lives in the new village - she had been lined up with all the other villagers that day and opened fire on. She only survived because bodies of other villagers fell over her and she wasn't recognised as still alive. The smile she gave us meant so much to me. The reality that these things happened so recently and that we haven't learnt anything - look at Iraq and Afghanistan - is plain terrifying.
But the darker moments of the trip are few and very important. Mostly we spend most of the day in fits of giggles - it's incredibly easy comedy in a country where the currency is called Dong - we're 12 days in and still haven't run out of Dong jokes - it's like a big Carry On film. ("oh no I've left my Dong in my other pants", "watch out - she's after your Dong again" it goes on and on) It's been fantastic to have Ben, Belinda and Tonia on the trip, though most of the oldies are pretty funny too - they're not above to odd dong joke either. The English couple continue to be grumpy b******s but it's got to the stage where we have to laugh at them. His voice sounds like Neil from The Young Ones and constantly says "oh no" just like him, and she has the most ridiculous complaints like too much garlic on the garlic bread and the fish being too fishy. They don't eat meat and you should have seen the stifled giggles when she asked the waitress in her usual exasperated tone "Is this meat?" pointing to something in the rice, when the waitress said "no" she said "well what is it?", to which the waitress replied "it's pork".
Anyway thats me up to date - I'll probably hold off till Hanoi to upload photos.
Jem x
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