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Okay, I just realized reading it through, there is a lot of, 'what I am thinking in this blog'... hope you are not gonna get too bored. :)
So today ive been past the local office of Norfil Foundation. Very friendly as their sister office back in Manila. My contact Baday, is a sweet old lady with experience in helping the organisation almost since the beginning. Had some trouble finding the office since, as it is Manila, located in one of the smaller suburbs in poor areas around the city.
We had a long talk, probably to make sure my intent is genuine, and then we went looking to contact my mother, or atleast the person I've found through the election office in Obay, Bohol. I jumped off at Ayala center where I am now, and is wondering how she is gonna respond or react when Baday is coming and at her life. Maybe she wants to meet me, maybe not. Maybe shes a good human, maybe not. She might wanna abuse the fact that i am from a western country and pump me for money, and then again she might not. How will I react if she wants to meet me. And how will I react if she do not. So many thoughts is running through my head.
Been thinking about how it will be, but now when I am so close to maybe finding my biological mother I do not know what to think. Like I want to make a good first time impression, no matter what kinda person she is, I want her to know that I am living a good life. I want to thank her for getting me to Norfil Foundation. I want her to be aware of how happy I am for giving me a chance getting a life abroad, getting a decent education and a decent way of living. Now I am thinking about it, there is actually no way I can thank her enough, for helping me eventhough, she, was in a hard position in life. My time being here in the Philippines, ive heard horrow stories about infants getting either sold or left for dead on the streets. Kids being abused to do inhuman things for foreigners looking for a good time.
Have to thank her for not letting that happend to me. Though maybe that is not how I should put it.
Through all my travel I have always appreciated where I have grown up, in a safe enviroments back in Denmark. When I am seeing kids barely of age doing hard labour or having to serve foreigners in resorts, I am getting a hallow feeling inside. This could have been me, It could have been me standing in a corner for hours waiting to serve a customer....
Being a tourist in a land where you fit in, and everyone look like you, i am getting a wierd feeling of being a part of everything, eventhough I am not. I do not understand what people are saying, but I am still getting approached as if I was one of them. Wierd and fun at the same time, cause I am not getting approached as much as my "fellow" white tourist. Cebu City is just as any upcoming big metropolis', they have big malls right and a few hundred meters away there is the localslum. Big hotels and skyscrabers are shooting up everywhere and people are getting more money between their hands. Also how the richer people in the country dont give a s*** about the rest. It is such a shame, since the philippines is a "democratic" country, there should be somekind of justice and social security for the people. I know that the philippines is supposed to be a third world country, and that the fact that it is a democratic is a new, but still...
Yeh, it seems like i am growning more and more attached to the country, but do not get me wrong, sometimes I just stop and think of home, it is not like i fit in here.
I just feel like I wanna help out everywhere I go. But okay enough with the sentimental stuff.
Yeah, so what have I been doing the last week.
Well to be honest cannot remember specificaly what I did each day the following week here. Though Baday called me the following evening and told me, she had gotten in contact with the father in law. He was a bit suspicious on why somebody wanted the adress on his daughter in law. He did say he would give more information the following day, and I stayed inside the hotel room, that night, awaiting the followup. Nothing happend, and I called up the norfil foundation to make a new personal contact with him, which they were already planning since they did not understand why he had not contacted them.
At that time, the information I had gotten of my biological mother was that, she was now living somewhere in Manila, so I decided to book a ticket to Manila, not sure if I would get the precise information or not. But now I atleast knew where she was living.
I know that was a kinda naive thought since Manila is a city with millions of people, and looking for a person you have never seen, or met before, is like looking for a needle in a haystack where all the hay is also made of needles...
Just occured to me that you would expect me to meet more people and that I would talk a bit more about it, but I will when there is actually something to tell you about. Since this is a blog everyone can actually read i'll prefer to keep some stories to myself, or atleast till I get back home.
The same day I flew out from Cebu I got a text that, they had gotten some more information about my biological mothers whereabouts in Manila, and they told me I should go and contact the Manila office for further information.
Arrived in Manila around rushhour once again, and eventhough I already knew this, I did not think of it when I booked the ticket, so yes... After I got out of the actual airport area, since I did not want to pay the 800-1000p fee for getting to my new hostel, I had a 2-3 hour drive to the hostel Loyola Heights. Decent small dorm rooms - TV with actually canals working - and internet. Head was spinning with thoughts, maybe I could meet her tomorrow, had a hard time falling a sleep that night.
When I woke up the the following morning, I headed straight down to the Norfil Foundatin Organisation to get some more information. Think I caught them off guard when I arrived, had to wait 30 mins for one of the employees to come and get me. I guess that they wanted to prepare themselves a bit before confronting me.
So what they told me was..She had married and gotten 3 kids, not completely sure if they were hers biologically or not. A boy around 9 years, and two girls 16 and 18-19 years old, to be honest I should remember the correct age, but I cannot.
They, norfil, had already talked to her, and her family. They all knew about me and her giving me away for adoption. To what I recall is, they were all eager to meet me, and to my understanding they could all speak english. At that time I was getting impatiente. I asked for their information, adress and phonenumbers, but the people at the adoption office insisted to make a personal contact without me at first, just to make a real connection. I might have become a bit rude when they said they wanted to do that first, but I understand now that, it is to make the best possible first meeting they can do. They told me they was gonna meet with them the upcoming saturday, and that I should maybe take some time off and see something around Manila, but I could not really get myself to go anywhere. As if I was going anywhere in case she wanted to meet me, after she had been approached by the norfil adoption people. I asked them to make our first meeting as soon as possible, ASAP underlined, bold, exclamation point.
Think the meeting with norfil was this thursday, and now its sunday. And what have I been doing since then? Absolutely nothing. Oh right, that is not true, I have been shopping, and I have almost gotten robbed by a taxi driver, who took me out in nowhere ( during the daytime ) and asked me for all of my belongings. Funny story actually...
This friday I went out to do some shopping. Took me not longer than a few hours and it was around 5 PM. I went out and got myself a taxi at the Trinoma mall, and told him I wanted to go to Xavierville avenue. At that time I was pretty sure he understood where I wanted to go, so I did not bother with him going a different route, since rushhour starts around 4PM till atleast 9 PM. But after sometime he had been driving in the totally wrong direction, I asked him if he understood where I wanted to go and he ensured me that he was aware it was Xavierville and he was just taking a shortcut around the most trafficjammed roads. I told him, he was going in the wrong direction and that I would like to get off here. Here being in the middle of a slum, to be honest, no idea where I was. He drove the car into a blind road and cut off the engine.
So what was going through my mind that that point... First I looked at him, an old looking guy, you would not expect him to do you anyharm. Secondly I noticed there was noone else approaching the car, so I guessed he would try to do it by himself. Third, I was pretty sure I could take him if I wanted to.
He did not open the robbery with a knife. All he did said was, give me everything you have. I smiled at him first, to be honest might have been trembling with my lips when I said, NO. He then reached for me trying to grap me, but I got out of the car before he could do anything else. He started to scream something, in tagalog I would assume, and I looked around as people peeked out of their small sheds to see what was going on. At that point I was getting anxious, but the best thing ever happend. The local people around, ran to the taxi driver and held him off while I made my escape. A young guy probably middle 20s, told me to "get out of here" and "we will call the police". I do not know why, but I decided to stay, to make sure the police got him. I looked back at the taxi driver, who had escaped the arms one of the local guys trying to keep him back, and I watched as he rushed to his taxi and backed out of the blind road nearly hitting one of the people running towards him. So there I was middle of nowhere, among the poor people of the sorrounding area of Manila, feeling all alone, with 3-4 local guys standing around me.
They all told me never to go with a taxi without meter, but he had turned it on infact. I told them my story, and the young guy who had told me to run off from the start, told me with a sad expression, that things like that happends sometimes, even with certificate drivers. He ensured me they had writting down the number of the taxi, and had gotten the phonenumber off the back of the taxi, and he would make sure he would get what he deserves. I asked them if I could give them anything showing my gratitude, but they all said no thank you, and they was all happy to help. I insisted, saying that if they showed me to the nearest jeepney to get out of here, I would atleast give them something to drink, but they all just went off, expect for the young man who could speak english. He said he would be happy to get me out of here, and that one of his friends was getting his motorcycle.
Standing there, after an experience like that, I looked around at the small crowd who had emerged to watch the episode. All was smiling at me, some trying to ask me if I was okay, etc. It was at that time I felt the cold swet on my back and forehead for the firsttime. I was not afraid there, I felt safe.
It might have been several minutes till his friend came back with his motorcycle. I asked them where I was but he insisted not telling it to me, since he did not want to bring any bad attention to his nabourhood. He also asked me not to go to the police, and I did not, out of pure gratitude. To be honest I cannot remember where I was, maybe I was still confused, and a bit unsure while he drove me away from the scene. Or maybe my mind just did not wanted know where I had just been. No matter what, I thanked the guy alot when he took me all the way back to Trinoma. I tried to give him some money, but he refused, I kept on trying to push, to give him something, but he kept on refusing. I said my last goodbye, as he made sure the new taxi I went into, was a decent kind of guy, and I headed back towards my hostel.
To be honest, this might have been my worst and best experience in the philippines sofaar, maybe neck on neck with the guy who helped me with the flat motercycle on Bohol.
Next day, everything from the last day totally forgotten, I awaited the call from Norfil after the first meeting with my biological mother. Though the attempted robbery should be filling my head with fear etc., only thing on my mind was how the first meeting had gone. I went out to another mall, to look around in the stores, awaiting the text or call from norfil, and I finally got a text saying something in the way of : "Had a good meeting with your mother, she is looking forward to meet you and so are you smaller siplings. The meeting is gonna be on tuesday at 2 PM."
So what I have been doing since then, have been nothing, but prepare myself mentally, as much as I can for the upcoming meeting. Thinking over things to ask and say. Trying to figure out the best way to behave on the meeting, so many thoughts and so much time... yeh tuesday seems to be faar ahead into the future for me at the moments and I am litteraly counting the minutes and hours for the meeting. I have nothing planned out for the next days. My only plan is to sit and wait for tuesday to come, watching tv to get time to pass by, looking on facebook if anything interesting have happend back at home. Everything seems so distant, and nothing else really matters, atleast not at the moment.
Even thinking back of my journey so faar, everything else seems to be insignificant to the upcoming tueday. Do not worry, it is not like I am sitting around trying to get a hold of my emotions, cause I am not. I just want to express the feeling I am having at the moment. Get it out there, so everyone can understand, why I have not been blogging for the past week. Actually the only reason I am blogging at the moment is because I am getting bored sitting around doing absolutely nothing.
I could be telling you about how poor people are around here. I could be telling you about how stinking hot it is, even though the rain have been drumming hard on the streets of Manila all day to day. But I will not, since it is not important.
I do not really have anything more to tell you. Other than, I am so looking forward to this tuesday....
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Diane As we read this,we are sitting on the edge of our seats! Someone is smiling and someone else just shed a tear.