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Free from the shackles of oppression (Bobby) we are now using more conventional transportation, having to catch an overnight sleeper train from Agra to Varanasi. In Britain, trains, more or less, run on time, well it's general knowledge that no train in the history of India has ever arrived on time. Ours was no exception. Adding to this fundemental law, the platform annocements are wholey inaccurate and the notice board is showing times from 2003- it's fair to say catching your intended train involves a pinch of luck. We hedged our bets and stood on the middle platform and as every train slowed to a stop we frantically grabbed our bags and ran up and down shouting "Varanasi, Varanasi, is this the train to Varanasi?" We're faced with blank expressions which is odd as they can't get enough of you when you're cornered, you literally can't take a sh#@t without some guy popping their head in asking "where you from?" - ask Rach that actually happened to her. But at the moment they are looking dumbfounded by our query. Our stress levels are starting to rise, there are rats everywhere, it's dark and a crowd of men seem to be following our progress, now again chipping in with "Where you from?" This is all multiplied by the fact the train when it does arrive will be packed to the rafters, not being able to move without a sweaty armpit to the face. Rach heads to the toilet and as the door swings open I glimpse a huge rat scuttle across the floor. She reappears a minute later visibley shaking, what she describes is a mixture of the toilet scene in Trainspotting and an episode of I'm a celebrity get me out of here. Then a pigeon sh#@ts on Rach. Sensibly I save the laughter for another time in a safer environment. We give in train chasing and perch on our bags defeated, but then when all hope is lost, our train appears, our carriage right in front of us, our booth is clean and comfy with the other two beds being occupied by an Australian couple! Sanctuary at last.
Varanasi is a spiritual place for Indians and every night ceremonies are performed on the Ganges including funerals where they burn the bodies on the waters edge. We hire a rowing boat to watc, lighting candles on little flower boats and floating them across the water.Hundreds of people do this so the effect looks erie but beautiful.
The next day it's time to leave India and head to Nepal. The bus journey is a mind boggling 14 hours, arriving at the border at midnight and having to wake the immigration official to get into the country. The ride was made more bearable by the 2 Ozzy guys we met (Billy and Nick) who kept us entertained for hours with their culturally insensitive banter. Although she denies it, Rach had a bit of a crush on Nick as she literally laughed at everything he said "anyone want a kitkat?", "haha (hystrically) Nick your so funny" odd looks exchanged by all. On the border we stayed at 'Hotel Paradise' as you can guess it was most certainly not, it was disgusting.
To quote the wordsmith that is Vinnie Jones, India has "been emotional". I'm still not sure if we liked it, it evokes such a range of feelings. Below is a list of words that came to mind when I thought of India, read it fast, it sounds better:
Cows,camels, pigs, goats, buffalo, rats, donkeys, tigers,mosquitos, geckos, moths, lassi (not the tv dog), spices, dirty fingernails, yummy food, not so yummy food, out of date coke (I think this upset Rach the most), Delhi belly, sh#@t, urine, smells, rubbish, dirt, dust, noise, horns, traffic, rickshaws, motorbikes, crazy driving, pimped up tractors, bad roads, blow horn, smog, burning, fireworks, lights, religion, culture, temples, forts, palaces, good and bad architecture, the Taj Mahal, half finished, half fallen, rubble, inefficient, lightswitches, crowds, over population, smiles, stares, boys holding hands, being photographed, being groped (mostly me), touts, "where you from?", being ripped off, rupees, Ken Dodd (they love him out here), fun, hardwork, Ganges, sand dunes, shooting stars, sunrises, sunsets, beauty, poverty, inequality, diversity (not the dance group).
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