This morning we decided that the Andaman would be the place to spend our a.m. For those of you who don't know what the Andaman is (I was a member of this elite group until very recently), it is a sea. It turns out that this sea is part of an ocean. I did not know that could happen. All this time I thought you were in one or the other. Today, I swam in both. At the same time. I really think they should market this more: "Swim in the sea and the ocean today". I think people may go for that. I know I would.

After our morning swim, we spent a little time in our beautiful resort and hotel room before driving to an area called Telaga Harbour. We were advised that a cable car ride would be a nice thing to do there. More on that shortly.

We arrived to find a tourist oriented Oriental Village, filled with incredible items such as overpriced authentic mugs which we could put our faces onto. It took every ounce of self control not to indulge ourselves with such high grade purchases. For all of you expecting gifts of this calibre, I apologise. We just couldn't do it.

We did however find a guy holding a python, who kindly allowed us to have a turn for a fee. We had our photographs taken with the reptile, and moved on. As we walked away from the snake, I asked my wife a trivia question: why do snakes stick their tongues out so often? Her response: "to check the wind direction?". She is a master of comedy.

We left our serpent friend behind and walked to the jaw-dropping moment of realising that we were about to embark on the steepest cable car ride in the world (I didn't actually know this fact at the moment my jaw dropped, but they looked pretty steep and pretty high!). There was a monumentally long queue to get yourself into a car. As we queued to purchase tickets, we were approached by a guy who said he could get us onto the cars quicker. He told me that I should approach a guy by the name of Huji, and ask him "does it rain regularly off the coast of Langkawi?". I was informed that if he replied "the macaque monkey eats Langkawi bananas" then I would be formally accepted as a free priority pass customer. I found a guy matching Huji's description and whispered the question to him. The man looked at me with a look signifying confusion and disgust, and walked away. I still don't know if that was Huji.

Anyway, we ended up paying a little extra and getting express tickets with a guided tour and a trip near the Sky Bridge (which was closed for maintenance). A lovely man by the name of Nizam gave us the tour, and told us of some of the legends of Langkawi on our way up the mountain in our gondola. He told us about the legend of Mashuri, the woman who lived a few hundred years ago who was killed after her mother in law got jealous of her incredible personality. Her mother in law was said to have started a rumour that Mashuri had committed adultery. Mashuri was found guilty and sentenced to death. The legend says that as she died (with white blood proving her innocence pouring from her body!) Mashuri cursed the island of Langkawi saying that Langkawi will not prosper for seven generations. It is said that soon afterward the entire family of her husband died.

He also told us about the legend of two mountains in Langkawi - Raya and Cinang. He told us that two giants were fighting with each other, and that they put a curse on each other and turned into mountains. He went on to say that it was up to me whether to believe this story or not. After some contemplation, I have decided not to believe that version of events. Although I did see one of the rocks in the distance wink at me.

The view from the top of the mountain was spectacular. We could see for miles around. It was just breathtaking to see the Island of Langkawi (as well as other islands nearby) from up there. Unfortunately, due to the thinner air at 700m it was quite literally breathtaking. I was panting like a canine when we took our jungle walk toward the sky bridge to take some pictures. I was rather confused because we had walked, swam and held snakes with no problems earlier. Now after walking up 5 steps I felt like I was at the KL caves all over again. The rainforest turned pink. It looked good, but I thought that someone had put a Langkawi curse on me to decrease my already minimal stamina, and make everything pink.

In hindsight, it would be a pretty rubbish curse as far as curses go. If someone was going to put a curse of Langkawi on me, I would rather turn into a mountain or at least a medium sized hill. After our guide explained that the air was thinner and it was normal to feel more tired up there, I decided that it was unlikely that anyone cursed me. To be on the safe side though, I did eat a flower which is said to have anti-curse properties. Or so I thought. Turns out that flower had numbing properties. Couldn't feel my mouth for hours.

After the cable cars we stopped at a nearby waterfall before heading back to the night market again. It was in a different part of the island today. If anybody is hungry in Langkawi, head to the night market. For approximately £4 (in total!), my wife and I ate burgers, rice, chicken, noodles, other things which have names I cannot remember, sweetcorn, sweet rice, other strange deserts and had drinks. I came out of the night market feeling like I had eaten enough to last me a week. I am thinking of franchising this market into the UK. Along with my chicken farm. All I have to do is work out how to transport the entire market into London for free three times per week. I'm planning to stay up and work on my business plan tonight.

I should mention at this point that my feet had been extremely comfortable during the day. This was because the sandals had been providing me extra support and comfort, compared to my flip flops, which were very good for short distances and beach wear. You see, flip flops have an ergonomic advanta... I'm kidding.

We left the night market after a guy there tried to convince me to purchase his extremely beautiful blue and purple goldfish type fish and take them back home with me on the plane. He said I should hide the fish in my pants and nobody would check. I am not sure if he had special compartments in his trousers that would allow the carrying of live marine cargo, but my shorts do not. I contemplated starting yet another business manufacturing some sort of pantaloon which had secret compartments for the smuggling of live fish. Tempting as it was, I passed on his offer and instead got back into the car and headed to nearby Cenang. This is an area with shops, a beach and plenty of restaurants. We decided it would be nice to take a walk around the area. After eventually finding a place to park the car (this must be the only place in Langkawi where this is slightly difficult) we discovered the many, many massage parlours that were in Cenang. We each picked a parlour, remembering full well what had happened the night before. I went in, hoping that I could have a less tortuous experience.

To be fair to the chap who gave me the second massage, he was nowhere near as sadistic as the masseur of the previous evening. However, it also turns out that my muscles were battered and bruised from the night before. So every tiny pressure applied just made it feel like I was back in the house of pain. I wondered at the time what it was that had made me think this was a good idea. I still don't know.

My legs now feel betrayed. They told me that they knew last night was an accident, a mistake. They said anyone can make a mistake. They then said that to make the same mistake twice in 24 hours shows I don't care about them. They aren't speaking to me now. I hate when I get the cold hip.

In my next blog I hope to give you a list of coded security questions to memorise on your travels, should you need to jump queues.