Yesterday, Miss Hancock, I had an interview round in London and today I got a phone call to say 'yes you are invited through to the next round' (Down to the final 12! Excellent!) Unfortunately, however, the lady who told me that I'd got through proceeded to tell me all about where I'd gone wrong yesterday (obviously trying to help and give me tips for the next round, which I appreciate) which means that I've just had a lot of faults verbalised over the telephone in a continuous diatribe which I had to politely listen to and take on board. I therefore felt like s*** afterwards and couldn't get round to doing what I was supposed to be doing (studying for two essays) and decided that the only thing which would make me feel better would be your blog, and that hopefully you'd have written another entry for me to read and laugh and and LO AND BEHOLD there was light, and the blog came forth. Love it. Am feeling tons better now.
Indian men staring - what a joy! When Kat and I were on the train a transvestite came up to Miss Defraine and was dancing and got right in her face - I seem to remember some hand to face contact - Kat looked like a deer in headlights, not helped by the fact that I was wetting myself at the sight of her eyes as big as saucers. Good times. We managed to miss the Venga boys, though; perhaps we could go to the Litten Tree and see if they'll play some for us?
Crolla
When you come home I assume your going to feel quite sad about leaving India, so, because I'm such a good friend (and such a good hostess) I have been working on a plan to cheer you up!
When you come to visit, I have decided we will recreate your Indian adventure. In order to make this as authentic as possible, I'm going to wake you up by rifling through your dirty washing, play Venga Boys none stop, take photo's of you reading my Heat magazines, blatantly stare at you during all our tube journeys, charge you 80p for the benefit of my heating system, throw an array of brightly coloured paints at you, my cooking will most probably reinstate the diarrhoea issues, and if you wish to phone family members I am afraid you will have to walk to the next town to do so. There you go, that should cure any India withdrawal symptoms you may have. You don't need to thank me x
Pap
Another fantastic installment - they ought to employ you to sell tours, holidays etc., perhaps with Carly. No, on second thoughts, the tourists might end up somewhere in Bedfordshire! Seriously though, so glad that you've had such a wonderful time - it sounds absolutely fascinating. Very impressed too with the way that you've managed everything. Hope you are over the bug now. Love you lots. xxx
Carly
The introduction to Jeremy Kyle was bordering on the apocolyptic this morning. It was sensational.
Mark
Oh oh oh! I forgot to mention, I visited a lovely, elegant, charming little city called Aix-en-Provence,about half an hour's drive outside of Marseilles, at the weekend. There was a small independent women's clothes shop on the trendiest street in town selling cutting edge fashions, but with the unfortunate name of 'Fanny Fanny Fanny'. I have taken a photo of this establishment with its name in lights just for you. x
Mark
Hi Katie,
Sorry for being out of touch lately but I have been romping (in the non-sexual sense, unfortunately) around the south of France just lately. This has involved such comedy episodes as being almost beaten up by an old, fat, alcoholic, homeless, bilingual Frenchman, and having to wander the streets at night repeating to an endless number of people the question, 'Où est l'auberge de jeunesse?', which I never dreamed back in Year 7 French would have any relevance or practical application outside of classroom role play.
I absolutely loved your latest blog installment and I am so glad that your experience of India has been so brilliant. I can't wait until you get back so we can talk about India until one of us dies. Please will you make a pact with me that we shall one day buy some kind of house/shack/dwelling in rural Maharashtra where we can retire to and live a simple life wearing colourful Indian fabrics and tending to cows and goats and decorating them during festivals. (Please!!!)
Incidentally, I love the way how everyone who travels to India makes the same kind of observations, especially if they are completely hilarious and unexpected. I shall leave you on a quote from my own blog of 2006:
"Sunday afternoon (26th), I finally arrived in Lucknow, which is where I am now, in an internet cafe where the Indians are playing Venga Boys. Venga Boys seems to be the music of choice in many internet cafes I have been in throughout India."
Jules
yo yo dude miss hancock
India sounds bloody amazing!!! from the sunset to getting a real feel for how people live!!! see your becoming a bit of a super star being paped everwhere you go!!!
wish could see that sunset bet it was just breathe taking, the illness doesnt sound the best, did you start to halossenate with the fever?
In chicgco alan and i found a building called the hancock and the solgan for it was 'above all a great time' took loadsa of pics of it' ill paste them on to ur blog. miss you hun keep having a brillant time wish could see you when you meet up with crolla have a large glass of wine for me and do some crazy dancing for me ( with bags flying as well!!)
In Orlando at the mo going to sea world 2mor, very touristy!!)
Jules & Alan
xxxx
Gareth
Hi Miss Hancock.
It brings back so many memories looking at those photo's of New Zealand (well jealous). Enjoy the rest of your trip will catch up again soon.
Rooth.
Smame
Just caught up on the blog Katie - sounds amazing! Hope you're feeling better - sounds pretty horrendous. So excited that I will be seeing you soon - let me know when you're back and I will ring you to arrange a plan. I have used up all my energy on a weekend away with people from work so am feeling a touch sorry for myself.
Blog on - love every word,
Smame x x x
AJ
Hi Katie, loved reading your blog. you really are having a terrific time. I don't think it would be the full Indian experience without the D & V. ! I too rather thought the Taj would be choclolate-boxy until I saw it and was knocked over. I remember how hot it was in Agra; I went round the Fort but couldn't care less whether I was looking at some historical marvel or Felixstowe pier, I felt so ill with the heat. We have got a Gov. grant to prop up the seashore by the way, so F'stowe won't be washed away next time you come.
Crolla
Hey Miss Mancock, Great blog, A* for that one! Can't wait to see these Taj Majal photos. Not much to report from London this week. We had about 5 minutes of snow, (Although we had loads in Manchester so I made a huge snowman last weekend which indecently lost its head due to passing Chavs) It's the Oxford / Cambridge Annual Boat Race this weekend, so I'm going to head down to the river to drink Pimms and mingle with the toffs.
Ali has decided we are going to enter the National Sailing Championships this August. Yes me, the girl who has never sailed before. He seems to think he is putting me through this rigorous summer training programme, which basically means spending my weekends freezing my arse off on a dirty lake, Hmmmm can't see it happening - I'll update you on my progress.
What dates are you home? I realise it's quite late to be putting in this request but can I schedule in a visit whilst your home? Don't worry if you're going to be busy seeing family and stuff, I understand you maybe to good for the likes of me now you're all cultured and that! Hope the sickness bug hasn't returned and you're fit and healthy. Stay safe Miss Mancock - Miss you x
Muv
Greatly admire your fortitude in being able to write such a mammoth blog while battling diarrohea and sickness in 40c heat with green hair and a pink ear (a combination known to suppress the writer's muse). I wonder what the collective noun for palaces is? You've certainly had your money's worth out of them. May you have a cow-free journey to the next one on your list!