Written by Emily
Guys, if you thought the last blog was bad, just you wait for this one.
*Emily and Rachel are hanging out in the hostel kitchen, eating a breakfast of fermented pinapple and malaria tablets. In walks a crazy character whom they have often seen cruising around. He is an exteremely old, wizened and spindily man, dressed all in white. He usually sports a peculiar green floppy hat, a la the seven dwarfs, but it is absent today.*
Wizened man-'Hey, hey, you're irish!'
Rachel-'Er, well, i'm half Irish'
Wizened man-'Yeah! I'm half irish too! Half Irish half german! Well i'm American, but i gave that up a long time ago. I lived in a treehouse for a while, but that's another story. Now i sometimes live there, but mainly here.'
Me-'Well why not.'
Wizened man-'Hey, what about your girlfriend?'
Wizened man-'You know the other one? She was hanging around this morning, she always kinda looks at me funny, she doesn't know what to make a me!' *laughs wheezily and for far too long* Well the other night, I was pretty high you know? And i was plastered. Coming back with a beer-can in my hand! Wait, no, it was this hand!' *waves it in my face*
Me-'O right...' edging towards the sink under the ruse of washing up my orange juice glass*
Wizened man-'And she was in the doorway ya know? And the first this i noticed was her massive boobs! I mean she was pretty busty you know?!' *uses hands to indicate bust and leans in so close to Rach she is forced to step back* 'And she was slipping all over the place, fallin'. I leaned in with my hands like this' *moves hands around Rach*
Rach-'OH OK!' *backs away*
Wizened man-'And i had my green wizard's hat on, you know my hat?'
Me-'O yes, we're familiar with the hat'
Wizened man-'And i stopped her from fallin', but all i could see was BOOBS! And i spilt beer all down her leg like this' *touches rachel's leg*
Rach-'Oh my God.'
Wizened man-'But i saved her you know, and i said to her 'it's not everyday a wizard saves your life!' *laughs for about ten minutes*
*we begin to back away*
Wizened man-'BUT she looked at me funny and was all screamin at me, so i just tipped beer right down her cleavage!' *wheezes, bent double* So yeah, you guys be-'
Me-'Oh my God Rach, the e-mail!!!" *we make a run for it, leaving our food cast asunder.*
Whilst i was writing this, he cruised on up behind for round 2. I had to hastily close down the page...