Adventures of Gamblegirl
Date: 3 September 2003 Adventures of Gamblegirl: Hullo it's me Heart apounding, pulse racing ala grand prix driver, butterflies bouncing around in my tummy. I feel sick, I feel nervous, oh my god what have I done? Is it too late to back out? What if I am bad? Oh s***, what if I am terrible....! "Come on down contestant number 1" What? Oh s*** that's me!!! Step into the spotlight, so many people, oh great expectations - can I cut it? Glance over to friends - smiling, laughing, cameras ready, heck Ben's even put off a trip to the loo for me. Head down, dont look, will make it worse. " You are?" "Rebecca" "From?" "Melbourne" " What are you singing?" "I will survive..." Tune starts up and there's no backing out now!! "At first I was afraid, I was petrified..." Never had truer words been sung! Where am I ? Standing in Madame Tussauds, on the Pop Idol stage (& b***** no Andrew G - sigh - or Jimmy - sigh) and I am going to sing for the (dummy) Simon Cowell. For that don't know who he is, Simon is the judge no Pop Idol (UK and US) that once made an auditioner cry because he said that she sounded so bad that he'd considered slitting his wrists during her audition. He's a legend in the UK pop scene (think Stock Aitken and Waterman ie Bananarama, Kylie, Rick Astley sort of house) and as blunt as a sledgehammer to the genitals. And for the record - I was exceptional, exceptionally bad!! Wow positive comments coming from the master of mean. Although Lisa and Ben were good reinforcers and the woman after me was terrible. See all that karokeing and car singing has paid off!!! Confused, thinking that I've lost the plot (you won't be the first about that point!), okay will explain. Along with Lisa and Ben (Lisa's best friend's boyfriend), we went to the Madame Tussauds and the planetarium (oh side note, I've found someone who has smaller hands then me, apart from Kerrie-Anne nee Baxter! and it's Kylie Minogue!!!). I've never had such a great time with dummies (no not you - Ben and Lisa!!!) I've posed with the Rock, man handled Brad Pitt (as every girl and gay guy should right?), had a chat with Kyle's (Kuiper in NY we are doing a repeat!!!), fought in front of Springer, heen interviewed by Oprah (girlfriend, you need to dump that man and find your innner self!!) attacked by the Hulk (sadly not Eric Bana either), posed with the Royals, and guess what I've found Sadam!!! After that it was off to brief the world leaders and then perform for Simon. Heck I have even conferred with two of the most noted religious leadrs - my mates John Paul and Dala (Sorry Ghandi - invite only!!!). And I've fondled Becks - that's Beckham, just setting you straight on that!!! So after performing my own little chamber of horrors - for those that know me, they will know that this is my chamber of horrors. I loath public speaking and public attention, this is a big thang for me - we moved on to the real chamber of horros. Right up front, I'll admit that I am a scady cat. I hate dark mysterious places, I hate people jumping out at me, I hate the unexpected and I hate sharp drops. So naturally the Chamber of Horros was the place for me to go and I got to go first, and the boy (yes you Ben!!) was in the middle bookended by 2 girls. For the sake of my parents innocence who think that I am a clean cut girl and have no case of potty mouth, I won't repeat the phrases that I used, but dad you know when the pipe split in the kitchen - yeah well I recycled a few choices words that you uttered. But I've discovered that I'm a screamer (don't go there Dylan!!!) and that I am really a massive scaredy cat (well that's one part of therapy out of the way!). Bloody hell I was scared s***eless!!! The actors kept bloody popping up out of everywhere and right in my bloody face!!! And to the chick that wouldn't let me bolt - yeah thanks. Still burning with embarrassment about singing in public, how I had a case of shaky knees. Oh and the Dennis Nielson dummy (an English serial killer who liked to rape, lobotomize and then rent boys [a bit of light reading before bed done by this girl], hey mum isn't he a perfect hubby catch?) was a little too bloody reall for this chicken!! Finally went in a black cab - well a fake one. It was a ride that documented the history of England. In comparrison to the thrilling ride at the whiskey distillery, it was brilliant. Lots of flashing lights and was a million times faster. Could have done the ride 8 times in the time we did one bleedin lap with that s***e ride. Sorry but the distillery ride has become the measuring stick of bad!!! Then it was off to the plentarium and that was so cool. Sure got a bit of motion sickness but it was incredibly cool. Madame Tussauds - to sum up - was great fun. If you can check it my pics when I send them home, do so. Madame T's is something that has to be done. Okay just a few more things. Firstly - sorry about the cranky email but really was pissed that my requests were being ignored. Also thanks for all the comments about my thoughts - no Jules am not a muppet thank you!!! I am glad and happy to entertain you (Bill Bryson move over, Becs Gamble is taking on your market - oh if only I was that good and could get paid to do this!!!). Re the comments about being a travel writer - oh if I only could do so, that would be soo cool. However, the Adventures of Gamblegirl, a complete novel will be published when the adventure is over and will be selling at $19.99 and get all your friends to buy a copy or three as I will need to raise funds to get home somehow!!! Anyway some more thoughts from me: Ahh the Fragrance of London: Inhale deeply... and then gag and dry wretch as the lovely fragrance of all the garbage left on the side of the road sickens you. There is a distinct smell during times of the day that is bordering on foul / revolting. Or as I have come to call it ordour de Toilet (London is a smelly place). But what's kind weird is that, despite all of this, London, is freakingly clean. You can't walk down the street without bumping into a street cleaner. Yet it stinks ... go figure!!! Music: You go from one extreme to the other... crap pop (ie the cheeky girls! Dad you'd like 'em, they wear the tiniest little hotpants with their arse falling out of them!) to brilliant ie (The Thrills, Coldplay but Lis for the sake of me ever listening to them again, CHANGE THE CD!!). That's not to say that it's all bad. Britain's love for great bubblegum pop or good music can churn out a few classics - but does the radio stations have to put everything on repeat!!! Urggghhh!!! Although do enjoy Virgin Radio - dad they even play the Beatles but sorry no Neil Diamond. Hmmm am missing a bit of the Neil Diamond, and your chasing girls CD :) Football: Nope still not into it!!! Emotion: English people are only allowed to show positive emotion it seems at football matches or when drunk. It's preferable for those two to occur simultaneously. At all the other times, a stiff upper lip must be observed closely - emotions (misery, negativeness and rudeness, etc, etc) are perfectly acceptable at all times. I Feel Like Chicken 2Nite: Hands up if you like Fried Chicken - great over here, you can get - suck in a deep breath - Cottage Chicken, Cottage Fried Chicken, Jersey Chicken, New Jersey Chicken, Big Hot Chicken, oh and KFC. If I have left anyone out, apologies!! There's so many and they are everywhere - like fungus!! And they don't sell potato and gravey - scandalous!! Oh and if you are over Fried Chicken - go for a Kebab instead!! So am off to Contiki in a week for 5 weeks. Can't guarantee to write, but will give it a try with some quick updates. All I ask for is NO emails. No jokes, Nothing. Don't make me cranky. Cheers Gamblegirl PS. The pillows here are s***e!!! PPS. Survived the blackout. Just gotten off the train to walk home when it happened, great timing huh? Love and kisses from your neighbourhood freak!!!!