Messner On Tour
Now then. Messner reporting from Mendoza in Argentina. I am actually in Santiago, Chile but I've already written a postcard from there. Glass eye. Anyway - you know the pro forma by now. Section 1 - Inane introductory ramblings as highlighted spectacularly here Section 2 - Tell you the sensible stuff I've been doing so you don't think I'm wasting the whole time. Section 3 - Bullet points of - banter - lather - more banter - more lather all of which makes section 2 look futile. Section 4 - Sign out as a Tyrolean climber who was the first to summit all 8,000 metre peaks (without oxygen) and nobody bats an eyelid. So that is section 1 complete. Section 2. Since I've left the deep South of Argentina and moved Northward, Rob and I have hoovered up a spectacular 3 day trek near Bariloche, an even more spectacular 3 day bender for my birthday and then the perfect hangover cure - a trip up a volcano in full ice axe and crampons regalia - reminding me of my first 8000 metre peak, Nanga Parbat by the rupal face back in 1973. Section 3. - Getting incredibly drunk on my birthday including falls, accusing the locals of spiking my drinks, rolling on the floor via the medium of dance, giving everyone and anyone of both sexes big sloppy kisses on the cheek, thanking everyone from the hostel for coming to South America for my birthday, leaving the pub on my own without telling anybody, going to a nightclub on my own, stumbling home, feeling like death the next day. - Seeing the continents most puddled llama. It pottered around a petrol station eating rubbish with it's head at 45 degress bouncing off the walls. - Watching with mirth as a Japanese guy at a hostel tried to eat with a spoon. Cue noodles in beard and a massive wedge up his nose - that stayed there for 30 minutes. I s*** thee not, I nearly died through convulsions. - When climbing the volcano, an Ozzie guy kept wanting to back out and slowed an impatient Messner down. I inquired about the nature of his sexuality. This was confirmed at the top when he gave his male companion a big kiss on the lips. Took a while to get the crampon out of my mouth..... Anyway - enough for this time. You'll hear from me again in Buenos Aires. I mean it. You will. Stumbling Messner..... PS South America is ace.