Messner On Tour
Hola hola hola, I am literally at the end of the Earth - next stop Antartica! Well it would be if they were still running trips - but alas I have arrived somewhere for the first time at the wrong time of year. I could however get a cheeky trip to the lovely Torres Del Paine in though - so northwards bound from the ever so end of the Earth looking town of Punta Arenas. Why people live here I do not know - it is bloody desolate. So I waited for a day for my new traveling companion, Rob from the Manc, to arrive as we set out on a trip of Northern banter - acting like early Spanish missionaries and spreading the word of the working mans club. The trekking has been excellent - with a very nice 4 day death or glory trek around the Torres del Paine, which included a first for me - being blown literally off my feet by a force 10 gust of wind. Oh my clinging on to a rock for dear life. Another trek to Mount Fitzroy (Argentina) was also jolly nice but the appearance of blisters on my team mates foot put a stop to my idea of being the first to the top in y-fronts and flip flops...... Also squeezed in was a trip to the very impressive Moreno glacier - I have now seen so many glaciers though they are now to be known as glasseyeiers...... But what about the lather related banter you cry - well I don't like to disappoint: • Puero Natales, Chile - Gatecrashing a restaurant owners birthday party and instigating the dancing by pulling up the chef from the kitchen, who was wearing lipstick and eyeliner - not bad shades for a fella, and doing the tango! • El Calafete, Argentina - Getting an almighty lather on with some locals in a pool bar, then some more locals in a Phoenix nights style club. After deciding to call it a night Rob promptly fell over and went bouncing across the road on his bonce, in front of an oncoming police car causing it to screech to a halt. The local Guardia were not impressed, even less so as I walked over, wrists held out together, in the internationally recognized sign of "I'll come quietly officer". The banter not quite finished as Rob shouts from his praying to Buddha position (trying to get up on all fours but repeatedly headbutting terra firma) "Get some chocolate out of the bag, tell them I'm diabetic". Admittedly genius but I laughed for about an hour. Anyway, further North we go in search of more banter on the way to Buenos Aires. More news soon Messner's pickled liver PS I've seenloads of condors! Children of the su....