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Jasper/Banff - 'A Rocky Road'
Bed Count 6/7/8
It will come as no surprise that I am writing this next instalment from a comfortable seat on our trusty friend 'the Greyhound bus'…...8h to kill, but more on that later!
First I will start where I left off, as we were making our way from the Canadian East to the West coast.We left our beloved B&B room in Cabbagetown, ensuring my pants were securely packed this time!Our next stop was the Pearson airport (Toronto) and fortunately we had pre-booked a taxi to arrive early, ensuring we could have a leisurely and relaxing trip through the airport.It will come as no surprise that this little pipe dream didn't materialise, as the taxi driver decided he was a future Formula 1 star in the making and drove like a complete maniac!I haven't worked it out yet, but there appears to be some secret taxi driver's race going on in every big city we visit.If you flagged a cab in London, I'm sure the driver would take the most indirect route at a strictly leisurely pace, whilst the meter continued to spiral out of control.Not in Canada!It's like a cut scene from 'The Fast and the Furious' film, where you strap in tight for the quickest fare of your life!Anyhow, despite a near death experience, Vin Diesel got us there in good time and we flew through the check in.We were on a 4h flight from Toronto to Edmonton, from where we would travel into the heart of the Canadian Rockies.Despite being one of the shortest flights of the trip, Melissa endured her worst bout of air sickness to date.I'll spare you the details, but this is one flight we would both care to forget…..ah, the things you do for love!After landing we dropped off the sick bags and picked up our hire car.I fully expected another clown circus car for me to drive with my knees around my chin but the friendly chap on the service desk took pity on my daddy long legs and upgraded us to a bigger vehicle.Melissa was still recovering from her airborne adventure, so it was down to me to take the wheel for our next connection…..a 5 ½ h drive to Jasper!It didn't help that the initial stretch was the straightest and longest road ever..…the Romans have got nothing on this one!However nothing that a few coffee stops didn't sort out, although the rest stops were a little 'Hill Billy' and I was clearly 'not from round those parts'!!After driving monotonously for several hours, we were greeted by the awe-inspiring sight of the Canadian Rockies shadowing in the distance.After coming off the highway, we drove straight into the mountains and the scenery changed dramatically - rolling sub Alpine forests, turquoise, tinted lakes and snow-capped mountains as far as the eye could see.....we were not disappointed.Despite the mammoth drive we arrived in Jasper in good time and checked into our accommodation.I should add at this point that we have literally been flying by the seat of our 'pants' on this trip and have only booked the next day's transport and accommodation a day or so before we travel.We did however leave this one a little late; only managed to get something sorted at 10pm the night before!!Therefore our expectations were relatively low, but we struck gold by getting a lovely little basement suite with loads of room!So after a full day's travelling we proved the fact correct that you can be just about anywhere in the world within 24h!We settled in for the night and found some time to have a chat with the owner who recommended a good pizza takeaway.Despite having some ordering difficulties we ate well that night!The next day involved a well-deserved lie in and a bit of relaxing followed by a lovely hike into the neighbouring hills.The constant rattle snake warnings didn't deter us from reaching a nice viewpoint, although we were constantly on the watch for bears (seriously!).Before reaching the top we were treated to the sight of red squirrel or two and then some amazing views over Jasper.Melissa was quite thrilled that we had seen a red squirrel, but it turns out that they are two a dozen over here!We even had one cheeky monkey put on a bit of show for us!Not content with scaring the living daylights out of Melissa by jumping out of a tree on our way down, he then posed and pouted on a nearby step.Whenever I went to get a picture he would run off, pick up his nuts and come back.This chain of events repeated about 10 times before we finally we got some good shots…ooo the little poser!So happy with our days' work, we returned back to plan our next day's travel.I must add at this point that to hire a car over here is not cheap, especially if you are going one way (as we generally are!).The ludicrous 'one way drop off charge' meant the hire quote made quite unpleasant reading, so we had to think outside the box.After enquiring we found out that there was actually a coach tour that ran from Jasper to Banff, including lots of stop offs along the way.The price was competitive and I'd had my fair share of driving the day before, so we booked it up quick sharp!
A bit blurry eyed we rose early the next day and pulled our cases around Jasper to wait for the bus.It was apparent from the others waiting that we were going to be the youngest on the tour by ~50 years, but everyone seemed friendly.For once the bus turned up on time and loaded up without delay and without hesitation we were on our way to Banff!The bus driver was good value for money, although a little confused with his nationalities.I think he was part Italian, part French and part Canadian going by the name of David ('Daveed'), but he kept us all well entertained throughout the tour.Within the first 20 minutes we had our first impromptu stop; an 'Elk' sat on the roadside.We had plenty of warning during our stay in Jasper that it was 'rutting' season, so the safest place to be was locked well inside the bus!Happy with our first wildlife sighting of the tour, we motored on down Route 93, the Ice Parkway road which cuts straight through the Jasper and Banff National Parks.Apparently this road stakes claim to be the most scenic/ picturesque road in the world and I can see why someone would state such a bold claim.The snow-tipped mountains change so dramatically due to the hundreds of glaciers still carving the landscape to this very day.The lakes and rivers also radiate a vibrant turquoise blue due to the glacial deposits or 'rock flour' that has sedimented over years.The 'ice road' was built just before the Second World War and cuts right through this specular landscape.No matter how tired you are, it's pretty tough to nod off with such stimulating sights…..oh and there's always a chance you might see a bear!Apparently our chances of seeing our furry friend were a mere 20% at this time of the year, but there was still always a chance!My eyes were constantly trained to the grass verges and sweeping glacial plains that ran alongside the road….however it would appear I was looking in the wrong place!According to our master of ceremonies David the bus driver, the best place to spot a bear was at the top a tree!It is my experience to spot the odd pigeon or resident crow perched high in the trees, but apparently black bears are great climbers.Indeed they might be and I'm not going to contest this claim, however I'm pretty sure they would have difficulty climbing the tree's round here!Thousands and thousands of sub alpine trees scatter the landscape, but they kind of reassemble cocktail sticks with a few token branches thrown in to convince that they are actually a tree!Now if I were I black bear, I'm sure I would much rather chill out in the summer sun, eating my honey or scaring some lost hikers rather than risking my overweight furry ass by climbing up a beanpole.Ok the views nice, but is it really worth the risk?!Anyhow I digress, but needless to say no bears were sighted in the tree tops!!
Moving on, we treated to some spectacular views of glaciers on our trip.The trained eye can pick these out of the hills, as the ice glistens a tinted blue or grey.The reason for this, is the fact that the compacted ice and minerals absorb all natural light with the exception of blue, this helps to explain the pretty blue rivers and lakes you find here.Our first real stop was at the Athabasca Falls, which might not have the height (or 'mist') of Niagara falls, but they would probably compete on sheer volume of water.As such, the local landscape is quite unique with 'pothole' rock formations and deep running gorges.We also stopped at the Columbian Ice field centre, which is the largest glacial expanse in the national park.As we pulled into the car park, Christmas came early as it started to snow!Well I tell a lie, it didn't just start, it pretty much dumped the annual snow fall on us over the next hour!Whilst picturesque, it did a good job of creating zero visibility which was going to be a challenge when we ventured onto the glacier its self!Yes that's right, as part of the tour we were going to be walking on the actual glacier, which seemed like fun!Now I should add, that for those adrenalin junkies glaciers are dangerous.Wrong footwear can be hazardous, ice can crack at anytime and crevices can suddenly open pulling you into an icy grave!Right the mums have probably read this now and can stop panicking, as we have already done this and I'm still writing to tell the tale!However, it pays to go with experience professionals and a vehicle that can handle the environment.Following on from this our chariot awaited…a huge six wheeled converted army carrier.To give some perspective the wheels on this machine are taller than I am high and wider than I am long!They also make light work of going over some pretty tough terrain, as was demonstrated by our driver who decided to go down the steepest hill in Canada to scare the pants off an elderly Asian chap who was expecting a leisurely Sunday drive out!Slowly but surely we made our way through the blizzard conditions to the ice field and we had some good fortune as the snow cleared a bit.The weather may have appeared to have eased up a bit, but the biting wind upon exit reminding us we were in unforgiving territory. However we still had time to wander round and get a nice picture of Melissa touching the ice and then looking extremely cold!After the ride back to the bus and a bit of warming lunch we were back on the road again.More dramatic scenery, including Lake Louise but also the less well known, Lake Peyto, which was a personal favourite of mine, but also the chance to spot the lesser known 'mountain sheep goat'.Clearly confused by which mammalian sub species it resides, I struggled to make out whether it was a sheep or goat from the 2 miles we viewed it from.Those eagle eyed among you will find some fluffy white dots on some of the pictures I have uploaded…make your own decisions!
We arrived in Banff on time and the place seemed to be really bustling.For those who haven't visited, Jasper is quite a quiet place and quite spread out.Banff is more commercial, but concentrated and seemed to have lot more going on, including plenty of shops for Melissa to spend our budget! We checked into our accommodation, which we had booked late last minute (again!) but we struck gold again with this one.Another roomy basement suite, but cooking facilities as well which allowed us to have few meals in and a nice bottle of local wine.After travelling and dining out most nights, it made a welcome break to have our own little pad and eat relatively healthy for a few days…..it's strange what you miss!We spent the next few days having some chill time, which included a trip to the nearby natural hot springs at the base of Sulphur Mountain.The 'natural' smell of egg on the way to pools was a slight deterrent, but the hot open pools with a back drop of the snow tipped mountains redeemed themselves.Due to all the travelling, I have been suffering with back tension, so I decided to treat myself to a massage at the adjoining spa.All was going well as I was provided a private changing facility, robe and flip flops.I was shown to the massage rooms and felt quite relaxed waiting for the masseur to present themself.However after two minutes, my peaceful thoughts turned to slight confusion as noticed that each door had the name of a masseuse along with their 'speciality'.The first read 'Lucas - speciality aromatherapy', the second 'Vernon - speciality hot stones'.The fact that they were men's names was surely a coincidence and the slightly overweight bearded cleaner seemed friendly enough.We acknowledged each other as he went about his duties of mopping the floor nearby but a minute later we were acknowledging each other again as he turned out to be part time cleaner and part time masseuse!To top things off he would be rubbing my back today!The fact the doorway notice read 'Scott - speciality 'hands'' did nothing to ease my nerves and neither did the over-sensual panpipe tones he insisted on playing!The first option was whether to leave my pants on….at least I was given that option!The second was which body part(s) I would like working!I described the tight tension in my back and shoulders and it seemed to be acknowledged.However this didn't stop Scott demonstrating his ability to bend my legs over my head for no apparent reason known to me!The next half an hour was interesting and what happened in that room shall stay between me and Scott!Only joking, despite an uncomfortable atmosphere he actually did a good job of loosening my back so credit is due here!After the 'relaxing' time at the Spa we headed back for some more chill time.The next few days involved catching up on admin tasks and cursing the inefficiencies of various UK customer service departments.We also took on our second laundrette run and many thanks to those who found it of great hilarity that I managed to lose my pants on the streets of cabbage town!This trip was less eventful, but did involve some similar misfortune once again!The washing went well, but the heat settings on the tumble driers here can be quite varied.Therefore it will come as no surprise that when Melissa let out a mischievous laugh, I had a pretty good idea what was coming!That's right my pants were now only fit for an action man figurine and it would be a one way trip onto my body with only a persuasive shoe horn to be able to remove them.Unfortunately I have not packed such a tool and I am running low on Vaseline, so the pants are a dead cause!After this hilarity, we decided that we should really book our onward travels and it was great disappointment that the car hire was an astronomical price again.Forced with dwindling options we turned to our trusty friend the 'Greyhound' bus service!
So early the next day we were wheeling our cases down the streets of Banff and heading straight for the bus station nice and early to guarantee a seat.The morning was cold and our spirits were low, as the raw reality of the 8h journey dawned on us both.The resident tramps that were queuing did nothing to ease the nerves and we knew we were in for the long haul.Our eventual destination would be Vancouver, but unless we wanted an overnight bus, the logical thing was to stop mid-way.We chose the Okanagan lakeside town of Kelowna and booked ahead into our first hostel of our trip!The journey started well as the scenery was equally amazing as the previous trip, although the smell of the tramps that had not washed for weeks gave it that certain atmosphere!I was also proud that the chap in front of us was sporting a red and white stripped woolly hat…that's right I had found 'Wally' from the 'Where's Wally' books!However my excitement quickly turned to frustration as 'Wally' decided to live up to his name.He started to take a few pictures of the landscape, which was quite acceptable given its beauty.What wasn't acceptable is the fact that he continued constantly for the whole journey.I kid you not; from start to finish he clicked, snapped and popped at everything.This was one happy snapper and the final straw came when he continued to take pictures when we went through a tunnel!!A firm 'passenger stare' seemed to do the job but he then went nuts when he saw a train passing by.When travelling on an 8h greyhound bus tour, you need to be a patient man….I am not a patient man!Using every ounce of energy, deep breathing and meditative techniques I managed to resist the urge to break the lens off Wally's camera and the scheduled stop off couldn't come soon enough.The whole route was lined with comedy names and our stop off point was no different.When the announcement to change at 'Salmon Arm' came over the speaker we were not surprised!A fish with arms would just be weird and this just about summarises the bus depot!Good job we didn't have to stop there long and even better luck that paparazzi Wally stayed firmly seated on another bus!So we were on our final leg of the journey and the bus seemed relatively calm and quiet.That was until the conversation started on the middle of the bus revealing that we taking a ride with a bunch of convicts that had just got out of jail!Needless to say the laptop went back in the bag and I'm finishing this blog from the safety of our hostel room!The hostel experience has been interesting so far and despite pushing Melissa further out of her comfort zone, it's been relatively uneventful!We have just come back after a day in Kelowna, which is a quirky town mixed with beautiful lakeside beaches and an interesting mix of shops and people downtown!As we are saving money in the hostel, we treated Melissa to a pedicure and myself to a haircut.Well a treat is probably the wrong word, as the hairdresser has just finished butchering what little hair I have left these days, only to finish the styling with a product called 'sticky business'!If you don't believe me, it's a Kevin Jackson product!I'll close out here, as we get ready for a night on the town and our next beloved Greyhound bus trip to Vancouver tomorrow!
PS:I couldn't finish without a rant or two, so here's a few:
·Why can't folk use the word 'shop' over here? I have gone past a 'fudgery', a 'jammary', a 'winery' and best of all a 'wiggery' today!Maybe a 'wig shop' is a bit too forward for people over here?!
·Why do the local historians go crazy when they find a property from the 1900's?I hate to say it; it's really not that old!Come to Sandwich (UK) and I'll show you some history!
- comments
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