nikita hope you enjoyed your extravagant new year celebrations in sydney.i heard you were treated like royalty! HAPPY NEW YEAR boys

Greg McKinnell Joe, You met an NFL Quarterback in New Zealand in the middle of the NFL season? His team must really value him then?!! Check his story Joe, and your wallet ! All the best, Grego.

Catherine McK Hey there stranger..... Would just like to say there is nothing wrong with lower back tatoo's you know - in fact I think they are soooo original and have never met another girl with the same!!!!! Next time I'm near a tatoo parlour I'll make sure I get the word "original" tatooed above it ;-) Hope you carry on having as fantastic a time as you have had so far! Many props for the headstand bungee - although the words mad and freak do spring to mind! Take Care, look forward to reading your next blog! x

Uncle G Apologies. Your last report was very interesting. I also like the photos of the areas and drunken incidents involving girls. I presume it was during one of these you believe you saw the cows in the rainforest. Happy Christmas.

Uncle G I've been preparing myself for some time now. Has technology out-foxed me once again? Maybe moved on to parts I cannot reach? Or are you just keeping the devotees waiting for your Christmas special? Have fun wherever.

Justine Henderson Hey Guys! It sounds like you're having a great time. It's a great shame you're not being followed by a film crew (or are you?!) - because your travels would make fantastic viewing, accompanied by your commentary. If Mrs. Dix hasn't been into my office to cheer me up I just browse your blog and work seems so much easier. Enjoy New Zealand. All the best, Justine.

Richard Lloyd Hello Gentlemen, Glad to hear your trip is going well. We will be playing guess where are Joe and Sam are? : in school assembly! Richard

Ranjeet Goodness gracious me, I was hearing all about your birthday. I am hoping you will have a jelly good time. Do not drink too much lager and visit your local curry house. Ranjeet Dix Bombay 25th October

Catherine Happy Birthday Joseph!!!!! Hope you have a fabulous time, don't do anything I wouldn't do.......................... (doesn't leave much then!) Take Care Catherine x

Kayleigh Happy Birthday Joe! Hope you have an 'awesome' time Kayls xx

Big Lol Hi Joe and Morris Dancer, bummer about the flying but glad to hear the yanks are making you think. Very wise to take time out to learn the local lingo and even if you're not fluent at least you can get to the shops and watch fatties get fatter. Be carfeul though as one small mis-understanding can get you in to trouble. I discovered this when I asked a bloke where I could buy some fags and I thought he was going to hit me. Also, if you hire a car, make sure you ask them about the boot size and watch him check his shoes. Later Lol and family

Grandad Joe-belay the last message,we've hired a goat!

Grandma Come home-grass needs cutting!!!!!!!!!

Venus Constanteater Are you the skinny boy with the puny arms that was starring at me inthe maarwwl (only 2 w's sonny) yesterday? How can such a rude fellow beallowed into our country? I hope you have completed the correct entryprocedure or I'll have you ejaculated by the nuts in The ImmigrationOffice. Let me tell you, we have to eat as much as we do or we wouldn'tget clothes to fit (and the clothes they sell at Cosmos Clothing arehuge). In America a Mars a day is a sexual offence. And I don't know whohas been teaching you but soda is a type of polish for alloy wheels andwe get through gallons of it every day, so if you have been drinking thestuff no wonder you think we're a bunch of weirdos. Next you'll betelling me you've been eating stackers without realising that's dogfood. There's nothing weird about us Americans we can spell proporleeand everything. I am a respectable mother who has brung up threechildren, one of each sex. Jupiter has a very successful career inadvertising, as a billboard, Mercury is a professional concert goer,she's a massive fan of Madonna and Sam, the youngest, spun out of orbitand made off with some jerk from England.Get yourself to Fiji so we can get George W to drop cousin Bubba on you andwipe you off the planet (who also happens to be my Great Grand-Mother).