After a big wave of agony swept over me at 3am Thursday, I decided my next tour would be of the hospital. I left for it in the morning and 6 hours later I was out. With my body freshly filled with much needed fluid, painkiller injected and anti-biotics in hand. They thought I could of had malaria but the tests came back negative. All that for a mere $370!?!, god bless the NHS.

The anti-biotics had instructions. On these instructions it says 'may cause vomiting, headaches, diarrhoea, nausea etc.' So I was thinking 'what the hell am I taking them for!?' they could just up the ante on everything I had, I do love a gamble though!

Feeling slightly better and not wanted to totally ruin the day I went and bought some new trainers and clothes. I looked round some of the more famous shops too; banana republic, old navy and bloomingdales (some guys mum calls it 'bloomys'!)

I had tickets for a comedy club for
That evening so I honoured them. Its a famous club which Seinfeld does all his gigs before and after the show. The comedians were varied: Mexican man, a black lady, Jewish guy, and a hard-knock Portuguese fella. All races and cultures were ripped apart, as New York houses so many of them. They
Even had a 10 minute stint on the stupid English which I loved.

The final act was some old, famous, hispanic dude who was in the movie scarface and has the catchphrase 'scheck it out!'. Everyone seemed
to know and love him. He turned out to
be bonkers and over-ran his act by an hour, spending the last 20 minutes stripping to his underwear and putting on costumes/dancing to a medley of cheesy music. Everyone loved this and clapped along, so I was obliged to join in.

This city actually doesn't sleep, I was getting the subway back at 12.30am and the train was fully rammed
with people. Why weren't they at home sleeping before work in the morning!?

The next day I had a good 8 hours of feeling human again. Without gut wrenching pain or a trigger happy sphincter. So I did lots of exploring. I went to Brooklyn and wondered round Brooklyn heights which was a clean, calm and beautiful neighbourhood. I went down Broad street and through Wall street. I noticed a huge church
At the start of Wall street, which surely has some metaphorical meaning. A religious building and hundreds of graves in the heart of all the money and power. I then visited Chinatown ad LIttle Italy.

Chinatown had a whole different atmosphere. The smell of hoi sin sauce filled the air and I swear I saw Jackie Chan like 8 times! It wasn't a particularly sunny day but everyone seemed to be squinting. I came across some basketball courts and thought 'well that's just cruel!'. Every shop was called 'lucky' this and 'fortune' that, whereas in Little Italy there were no names....just different eccentric hand gestures.

The Chinese seemed to need a 100 Market shops selling the same fresh fish/dried food. The Italians just needed coffee and lots of it. It looked like Chinatown had spilt over and was slowly taking over Little Italy. I think this is a sign of things to come. First the Chinese conquer Little Italy...next the world!

Partly because I missed the english accent and partly because I am a big geek, I saw Harry Potter after all the exploring. It was actually quite a good attempt at the book. I met an Australian actress in the que for food, we got on well so she asked me to sit next to her and her friend. After, the 3 of us went for food, and then her friend had to go.

I had been instructed to try out a revolving bar at the top of this huge building, so me and the Australian did. The views were amazing. We chatted for about 3 hours. She had just got a gig with Disney Cruise lines, and was so excited. She also taught me about the art of tipping, as this culture in America was one I was having problems with. Then we grabbed the subway and parted ways. It was nice, my first fully pain free day in the states!

The next day I wanted to walk around central park and visit the zoo there. Plus on my way I went inside that toy store from the movie 'Big' and saw the gaint piano! It was being dominated by little kids so I didn't get a go. Kids ruin everything.

The park is very nice this time of year, but the zoo looked pretty small. The main attractions were sea lions and penguins. Because I have swam and played with these creatures I wasn't very fascinated.

I was told they had a competition for the new feature they would put up to replace the twin towers, in memory of 9/11. Too bad I was late for the entry date, as I had a brilliant idea... Anti-air missile launchers!

I went to see my Australian actress friend at the restaurant she works at. I was guaranteed a free coffee from her. She had just finished her shift though and so we grabbed some lunch at Planet Hollywood. My portions was huge! We spotted R-Patz hand-print cast thingy and turns out...similar hand size.

We then got some 'frozen yoghurt' because she informed me I have to try it before I leave. It was tasty but I was so full from lunch. I then wanted to visit Columbia University before I headed back. We walked around campus and followed some students into a building (as we didn't have key-cards) to explore. The place was so grand and old....just amazing. Just like it's depicted on movies etc, so typically American, I loved it. But it seemed pretty dull, we looked for any sort of SU bar, frat party or essence of fun on campus but nada! It deffo needed a bit of 'Ditch Embra Party Liason' magic, but I was too rushed...another time.

Now the trip home. Let's hope I get home safe. It's been fun writing this, documenting my adventure. It will be nice for me to read back in a year, or a decade and re-live my travels.

Hope you guys found my shenanigans interesting, and thanks for all the comments and support. (Esp. Miss Marchant, I'v warned NYC of your future visit/rape! Haha)