The World's Best Platonic Honeymoon!!!!

Apologies first cos this is a really long one, so if you read to the end fair play to ya! You win a fresh coconut. Which I will keep here safely for you until I return. Or eat on your behalf. Either way, congratulations!

I have been pretty busy in the past few weeks, as I had good few things to get done before I went away, then there was the trip to Yaounde to try to get my visa sorted out and then there was the catch-up on work because I was away for so long.

The week before we went was a lot of getting bits and pieces for the children for their back to school, which included a trip to Bamenda for school supplies so that obviously took in a chicken, chips and salad meal at the epic Gracy's. The good news is that my camera seems to have started to work a bit again, although The Evil Virus did destroy a memory card, but thank God I only lost a few photos. Although the photos are quite green-tinted for some reason, but I don't know whether that problem was around before the virus. So I will take a picture of Gracy's which is literally wooden hut tacked onto the side of a building, and yet it serves the most delicious food.

That week, we also visited a convent where Emmanuel who is helping me with the garden project for the orphanage has a friend who has a great garden too. She's this little Indian nun, and she uses herbs and things from her garden to make alternative medicines that people sometimes use, for simple injuries or illnesses, or sometimes when medical stuff hasn't worked for them. She was quite a remarkable little lady, but I still think I'll be putting my faith in the drugs if I get sick!!! I found out there's an Irish priest there in that parish too, so I'm totally excited that I might get to meet him, as great as the other vols are, it'd be good to meet someone from home too! He was away that day, but his name is Rory O'Brien. Such a stereotypical Irish name and everything!!! The other vols think it's a bit hilarious how excited I am to hear about him, but the nuns said they think he's going home for holidays for a month soon, which might mean he can bring back goodies!!!!

And the last thing I did that week before I left was give out the back to school supplies to the children in the Child Sponsorship Programme, including adorable Elma and Shantal. So smiley and gorgeous!!! I love that bit of my job, and sorting out all of the things into little piles for them appeals to my OCD too. So we gave them rice and palm oil, schoolbags, copies, pens, calculators and maths sets. And poor little Shantal is a bit too young for school yet (although I've since found out that she will need a little schoolbag and a copy and pencils, and I have already decided that it shall be pink and princess-themed!) so she was very confused as to why everyone got lots of stuff and she did not, so I made sure to give her a lollipop and lo and behold, all was right with the world again!! I've got a little stash of sweets for just such an occasion, but I only give them out very sparingly, so I don't have swarms of kids hanging out at my door.

Then it was off on our mini-adventure. So we left for Bamenda and when we got there did all of our errands and then tried to find the International hotel, cos I'd had a good dinner there before, and we couldn't find it, but we found something SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much better. On a dirty side street, we found a place called Dreamland (aptly named!!!) and it was a huge lounge with amazing huge banquettes, lots of different areas, that were NAMED, a VIP section, about a dozen huge LCD TV screens (one of which was showing Top Gear), huge booths and couches, a dancefloor with a disco ball, a full band that is seriously kitted out ( I mean we're talking tens of thousands of EURO), amazing toilets with fancy sinks that light up when you turn the taps on, a brilliant smoking area out the back (the inside of the bar is non-smoking which is unheard of here), with its own set of LCD TV screens, a huge grill and barbeque area, and a little cabana for when you have a group together. Myself and Daniel were given the full tour by the manager, who was so nice, and we spent the whole time going "Amazing", and shouting "OH! MY! GOD! Come and have a look at THIS!!!!!!" and then we sat down, ordered dinner and a beer and rang Simon to tell him all about it, cos it really is unbelievable. I mean it's a billion times nicer than the places I like to go to in Dublin (I think Eimear Ryan will testify to this! The GB Shaw anyone?!?!?!?) So from minute one, the trip was off to a good start. Then of course it started to bucket down with rain so we left our new favourite place and left to go to the bus station to make sure that we were on time for the bus that would inevitably leave at least an hour late. (In Cameroon, time is meaningless!). The wait included the most traumatic toilet trip of my life, which resulted in the stage fright right before I had to take a non-stop eight hour bus trip. Not fun!

So we got on, and Daniel took sleeping pills and immediately conked out, but it was a nice comfy bus, kinda like one we'd get at home, and I had my iPod so I didn't mind. Then about an hour and a half out of Bamenda, a tyre blew out, and we had to stop by the side of the road (Daniel's sleeping pills were so effective that he only has my word to take for this, because even though we had to change buses he has zero recollection of it), for about two and a half hours and then change buses, and get our bags which were strapped into the rack on the roof, (all of which was up to me as Daniel was comatose), and an eight hour overnight journey on a kinda comfortable bus was transformed into an eleven hour journey on a very uncomfortable bus. I will take a picture of these vans they use for about forty people, so you can see what I mean!

But then we finally arrived in Yaoundé, and I used my French (which has shockingly disimproved since school, so much so that I'm stealing Kosaku's French teacher when he leaves so that I can get it back again) to get us to the Catholic Mission, where we promptly crashed out and slept for most of the day.

But then in the evening, we had steak for late lunch and strolled to the big French supermarket in the middle of the town, and almost fainted at the cheese counter, much to the amusement of the nice ladies who worked there. So we completely lost the run of ourselves, and bought big chunks of Brie, Chevre, duck liver pate, ham, salami, red and rose wine, and French bread. Then we headed back to our balcony, which looked out over the whole city, and proceeded to gorge ourselves. It was AMAZING!!!!!!!! And of course we sent lots of texts to the other vols still in Belo describing every mouthful, which, as you can imagine, made us extremely popular here! Then a nice little late sleep, and brunch from the delicious French (but ACTUALLY owned by Greeks, as are all of the "French" bakeries in Francophone Yaoundé-go figure) bakery at the end of our street, and ICE-CREAM, then some more strolling around what is actually a pretty nice city, a BILLION times nicer than Douala, and then we went back and got nice hot showers, and got all dressed up, and the lovely Daniel even indulged me with a few glasses of vino and loads of time to put on make-up and everything and went off to the Hilton for cocktails. Much to my disappointment there were no Mojitos to be had, but we did have cocktails anyway which were not great, but they had Heineken for me and Jack Daniels for Daniel which made up for it, and the bar is on the roof of the hotel and has a big verandah where we went out and had a little waltz looking out over the whole city, and the whole thing was extortionate but very enjoyable.

Then next day we met up with Flo to get our visa stuff sorted and went to this building that literally came from Stalinist Russia, and there is a huge queue which means sweet f-all because sporadically people just walk around it. There's a Gendarme on the gate who you have to plead your case with so Flo negotiated and got us in about three hours after we stood in the queue, and got us passes, then brought us around this huge complex, through labyrinthine corridors, and rooms, including a random lobby which is decorated in fabulous style, and a courtroom that stank of the toilets which seemed to be placed right in the middle of where everyone has to go through to get anywhere. But thank God for Flo, because she knew exactly where to go and what to do, and we just left the whole thing with her and we went off to Kribi.

I'll get the good photos from Daniel and post them, and you can see that it literally is the most amazing place. We tried to get some cheap accommodation to no avail before we got there, and the bus journey there was quite traumatic, because we were two of the last people to buy tickets so we ended up on the fold down seats in the aisle that are there so that as many people as possible can be crammed into the buses as possible. Daniel had a baby kicking him all the way there, and I had a HUGE army guy who was not the most hygienic man in the world by any stretch beside me the whole way. So by the time we got to Kribi, we literally found a taxi, pointed at a hotel beside the beach in the guidebook and said "Take us there". So he deposited us at the Hotel du Phare.

Cue much behaviour similar to that displayed by us in Dreamland. There was a crystal clear and pretty big pool, surrounded by palm trees, and a huge bar and restaurant that went right down over the ocean, with huge comfy chairs, and a guy was SWEEPING THE BEACH. Seriously. Now granted it was pretty expensive, but when the receptionist offered to show us a room, we looked at her like she had ten heads and said "nope we'll take it for one night". Then we had a gorgeous room, with an en suite bathroom, and a really powerful hot shower, and we literally threw our things on the bed, put on our togs and ran to the pool. It was pretty late so too dark to swim in the ocean as it's very rocky there and the swimming section of the beach is about a ten minute walk down the beach. Then a shower and a cold beer watching the sun set over the ocean, and we ordered dinner at the hotel restaurant which was seriously the best calamari I've ever had (and they make a mean calamari dish in Australia, but this was better) and delicious fish nuggets and chips. So gorgeous. Then a little stroll up the beach to the idyllic little lighthouse that's just next to hotel, and said hi to the huge number of security guards the hotel has posted at either end of the hotel's stretch of beach. Then another beer or two and a few games of cards, with the sound of the waves coming in. We're hoping the staff found us charming in a way, because Kribi as a whole, but especially our hotel is for very well to do Cameroonians, and we were like kids in a candy store the whole time, really enjoying ourselves because we are so completely unaccustomed to such luxury, especially considering our living conditions in Belo, but everyone else who goes there is used to it. Staff were really nice, and we had a bit of banter with them (curiously my French improved after a beer or two), and we gave them any food or drink we had that we didn't want so it wouldn't go to waste.

The only blot on the landscape is the huge Exxon Mobil oil pipeline that carries oil from Nigeria out to the sea for shipping. So at all times you can see the rig, with the huge flame (why is there always a massive flame on rigs? Answers on a post card please. Even though myself and Daniel chatted about it a bit we never figured it out.) And a little further around there is the most humungous tanker obviously filling up barrels. Basically Exxon Mobil have plenty of spondoolicks to pay off the high ranking government officials here and so can get around any planning, environmental and tourist concerns. It's such a pity as Kribi is just so beautiful, but that does leave a sour taste a bit, especially concerning recent disasters concerning oil pipelines.

Rant over, back to the amazing holiday. So the next day we woke up, jumped in the pool to wake up, found out check out was 1pm (it's usually ten am here), did a little victory dance and then went for a walk on the beach to see if we could find cheaper accommodation. There was cheaper accommodation, but it was only 1500 francs a night cheaper each (about €2.50) and it was a few leagues below where we were staying so we took the decision that we would just stay where we were and not eat in the restaurant there anymore. Cue another little victory dance, and then a stroll into town for lunch which was bought at the little food places next to the infamous fish market. It was pretty expensive again, but we had the most delicious prawns. I have no idea how they even cooked them, but they were phenomenal. Back to the hotel, and then swimming in the ocean. The waves were brilliant. It would be a brilliant surfing beach, and we were properly able to body-surf all the way in riding the waves. It was brilliant and HI-larious because very few African people can swim (even the fishermen) so we were WAY further out than anyone else, and basically provided the entertainment for most of the people visiting the beach every time we were there. Then back to the hotel, jump in the pool to wash off the salt and sea, bread and ham, and another share of that amazing calamari and wine for sunset and a drink in the bar.

Next day was very similar, except that with each passing day we got more and more relaxed, with the inevitable result that we began to care less and less about whether we got our visas, and decided that we could just stay at the hotel until all of our money ran out, then present ourselves to the nearest Gendarmes, show them our passports without valid visas and get deported for free! Plus that night we headed to the fish market to eat gorgeous red snapper caught that day, and sat eating dinner by the water, watching the fishermen come in for the evening, and the sunset over the bayou. The boats that they use are little hollowed out logs, and tiny, and very few have engines, the fishermen use little paddles. It must be really dangerous because the sea is not calm there and there are really big waves and swells, and as I said before most of them don't know how to swim.

But alas, we counted out our money, and the time had come to face the reality that we just couldn't afford to stay there any more so we headed back to Yaoundé, and saw Kribi as most volunteers see it, where the cheaper accommodation is and the busy streets, but that's not the way to do Kribi! It was just like Bamenda, so we agree we did it right by spending more money and less time to have the most incredible time there. It really was the best platonic honeymoon in the world. Daniel is like the little brother I never had, and I'm so fond of him, and we calculated up yesterday that in the nine days that we were travelling together, we spent one period of about an hour and a half, and about two 45 minute periods not being within a couple of feet of each other and we got on brilliantly, and never argued once. Great travelling buddies, which augers well because we'll probably end up doing a good bit of travelling together, maybe a good bit of it with Simon too, but since he's like our big brother it should be good craic! Plus the two of us live next door to each other here in Belo, and you get to know each other pretty well if you spend that much time together so it's brilliant the way things have worked out!

So back to Yaounde, and off we went on the hunt for a hamburger which we had heard rumours about from the other vols. There is no MacDonalds in Cameroon (myself and Daniel figure that's a loophole that could help make us billionaires), but there is a hamburger restaurant called Makdonald (seriously-I didn't make that up!!!) So I had a burger that sure wasn't the best I've ever had, but was better than what they serve in Croke Park on match days. Then off to the supermarket for supper-more cheese and pate and fresh bread. (I swear the women at the deli counter in the Casino supermarket remembered us because they smiled delightedly at us when we came in. "Crazy white people" is probably what was behind those smiles, as we practically drooled over their produce for the second time in a week.) Then back to our verandah, and view of the city. Next day we went hunting the hamburger again, and eventually found it and in fairness it was pretty good, and met our visa contact and left her our passports and then more bread and cheese for tea, and lots of CNN,a bit of rugby (I LITERALLY nearly lost my life-they have loads of French channels in the Catholic Mission so they showed Toulon v Biarritz) and then Eto'o was playing a soccer match so we got sucked into that, and the next morning we headed back to Bamenda and from there to Belo.

That trip was pretty tedious, although cheered up sporadically by us sharing my iPod and listening to "I'm on a Boat". The worst moment was seeing an accident and they're not big on covering up corpses here so that was not pleasant at all, although Daniel spotted it first so stopped me from looking before I saw anything really upsetting.

And so we arrived back to Belo with a bang. Predictably no water, no power for most of the next day and no internet for about two days after I came back. Back to chop shops and work and crazy but exhilarating rain storms and mud that means you slide around more than walk around and adorable children that you just want to hug for hours on end and looking forward to nice food for days at a time because you don't really get it and tea with the others and scrabble nights as major events and all of the other things about my life here that I love and that drive me crazy at the same time! Next week I hit my two month mark and I just can't believe that I've been here that long. There are definitely lots of people and things that I miss, but this is a great experience and I'm having such a wonderful time here, and am very happy (although I think a year will be plenty of time). I know that there will be downs as well as the up I'm on at the moment, but I totally appreciate how incredibly lucky I am to be able to do this. Every time I'm crammed in a taxi with seven or eight other people or washing with a half bucket of water or having my exact movements and actions pointed out to me by forty people in quick succession ("you are working" is the current favourite, and I suspect I will have to get used to that as I tend to do that a bit) I can't help smiling broadly because I'm here getting to do this, and I can't help thinking about people who work in tiny cubicles in offices in huge buildings (I've never done a job like that, but for some reason it seems to be the reference point that comes to mind most often). It's fantastic!!

K keep in touch everyone, it's great being able to hear from you and the facebook chat thing is great altogether, so if anyone is ever bored hop on and say hello if I'm on line.

Hugs and love to all. xoxoxo