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10th January- 4th March- The Story so far....
So after travelling around the place for four months it was time to set up camp. We've been asked a few times "why Perth?" The answer is quite simple, it's beautiful and peaceful, there's plenty of work over here, and it's the birthplace of Rolf Harris for God's sake. Also Perth has the highest population of self made millionaires in the world, so you never know Rodney, this time next year.........we could be millionaires.
- Perth Fact:
Perth the capital city of Western Australia is the most isolated capital city in the world.
So our first few days we spent in Fremantle, it's a large town outside the main centre of Perth, abit like Solihull is to Birmingham. Freo as it's called, is the immigrant centre of Western Australia, we didn't have to walk very far to see the whole place was teaming with Brits, Krauts and Paddy's. We found a hostel and endured 4 terrible nights there. This wasn't because Freo was terrible; it was just a skanky room in a shabby old building. Our room already had 2 occupants when we arrived and it seemed like they were set up for the long haul. The 4 bed room was divided in two, half full of the 1 kids s*** and the other half full of the other kids s***. We never got around to asking their names as our paths rarely crossed apart from when we were asleep. The next few days we spent perusing Freo and job/flat hunting in the library. Upon our return to the room most evenings we were assaulted by the smell of 2 hapless numbskulls and their attempts at washing.
Upon our 4th day in Perth things weren't looking very good. We had spent hours in the library over the last 4 days with a very simple purpose: Job and house hunting, but to no avail. Our routine had been, set up in the mornings and troll the net for hours on end. We both had different methods of finding work; Mel was meticulous and searched for jobs within her field. She was finding and applying for specific jobs, each with its own personalised cover letter. Declan started off the same, although after a day of finding nothing he changed tactic, 'The Scatter Gun' approach was quickly taken up. This approach essentially means applying for everything that appears on a screen after clicking 'search'. Gold Miner- Applied, 5 star chef-applied, Chinese translators (can't be that hard)-applied. Between each search and application we were hitting refresh on 'Gumtree' booking ourselves in for apartment views. Morale was on the wane as we return to the hostel for another night of being kept awake by Snorelax.(a Pokémon who snored very loud)
And of the 5th day God created lovely human beings!!!! (He didn't, he made the birds and fish, but that didn't fit in with our timeline in Perth).This lovely human we speak of is a guy called Leo. Leo had never met us but through a friend had said we could live in his house for a while. How nice is that??? A total stranger to us lets us stay in his house. Credit must also go to Gemma for the link up. Thanks Gemma.
So we move out of the cesspit and into Leo's. Things picked up from here. Leo would be away for another few weeks so we had all the comforts of home (internet included) and could easily get around the city from where we were. The house was by the beach and as it was the weekend Gemma came down to stay and we took some days off from the hunt and relaxed. That week we started attending apartment viewings all over Perth and would spend the next few days getting used to the trains and buses as we travelled the length and breadth of Perth. After 7 terrible viewings and 1 good one, morale was low. Western Australia (WA) is known as the Wait Awhile state. They're so slow at getting back to people with news it's ridiculous, we were basically waiting for a landlord called Jan to tell us we could have her nice looking apartment. We met and chatted, she liked us and everything seemed great, so why hadn't she rang so we could move in!!!!!!
- Perth Fact:
Perth is the sunniest capital city in the world, with an average 8 hours per day sunshine 365 days per year.
With morale low we couldn't really be bothered traipsing across the city to see a late viewing we had booked up for, but for some reason we went all the same. This particular journey we think is the exact moment Mel's foot went from hurt to broken, but more on that later. We ran for the train and then after that, we ran for the bus! We made it to the apartment with 10 minutes to spare. Wow we thought what a lovely apartment. Right we want it; Irish women go away so we can sweet talk the landlady. The Irish women left just as we sat down to fill out an application form. The Landlady, Jane, then gave us all her attention and we spoke for ages about our travels and plans. Jane was lovely and midway through a sentence offered us the apartment. Just like that!
YAAAAAAAAAAAAY!! It had been our 10 day in Perth and our 9th viewing, with a broken foot and thousands of miles on the buses we had finally got a place to live. Plus it was a Friday, drinks were in order.
We moved out of Leos and into our apartment on the Sunday. Getting across Perth with a thousand extra bags courtesy of Gemma . That day we finally unpacked our rucksacks and hid them in the cupboard, not to be seen for a while and headed out to stock up the fridge! We bid a fond farewell to our weekend buddy Gemma, off to do her fruit picking, that evening and had a great night sleep in our new home in Oz.
The weekdays were spent carting the computers into Freo to use the net for job hunting and occasionally popping to the beach. First week in the flat another 100 jobs applied for and still nothing.
- Perth Fact:
Perth is the third windiest capital city in the world!
The weekend of the 28th January we went out to enjoy Australia day. Australia day is exactly what it sounds like, a day to celebrate how great Australia is, it also coincides with the last weekend of the kids summer holidays. Freo had a few events on that day and we milled about and had a few drinks, on the night we watched the sky light up with a lovely fireworks show.
The following week Declan started working at an all girls private school. Now he wasn't working there as a teacher, that would be far too easy. He started there on a 4 week contract as a grounds keeper. His day to day involves sweating like crazy for 8 hours while milling about and keeping the gardens alive. Its a cracking little job though that keeps him busy and pays really well, the only downside being the 5:30 get ups to catch the bus and train!!!
What's Melanie doing I hear you ask?
Now as we mentioned Melanie had injured her foot. Let's start at the beginning.
Melanie has been lugging a gigantic backpack around for many months; we have been walking pretty much everywhere since we lost the van . Sydney and Melbourne in particular we covered many miles trudging about. Declan has been doing the walking around in proper footwear, Melanie has been walking around in Jesus sandals. Melanie also doesn't listen to certain people when they say to buy a pair of trainers. So one fine evening in Melbourne Melanie's foot begins to hurt and this proceeds to get worse as time goes on. The lovely Leo's house was quite a distance from the train station and while we dragged our cases there Mel's foot got really bad due to all the pressure. This all then culminated in the last minute dash to get the train so we could make an apartment viewing on time. We ran, the foot broke, but we got the apartment
To then cut a long story about insurance short, Melanie went to the hospital and was given a special shoe and told not to do much for two weeks. Melanie used this time very productively to apply for 1000s of jobs. She also baked a variety of cakes for a very tired Deccy, who isn't used to working after being off since July.
- Perth Fact:
The late Heath Ledger, Batman's arch nemesis, was born here.
In the weeks that passed, Melanie's foot got better and she took herself off to interviews across the city. Deccy worked like a trooper and was asked to stay on at the girl's college. Most afternoons we would meet up at the nearby beach and trade stories while soaking up the sun and having a swim.
On one of the weekends we took ourselves across the city to meet up with Melanie's long lost uncle and his daughter at a birthday party. The party was cool and we had an amazing cake shaped like a beehive. The party also brought with it an invite to go down the country and do some crabbing and touristy things in the coming weeks (We haven't gone yet but we'll let you know how it goes)
Another of our weekends has included going to the centenary celebration of the City's University. We watched some bizarre aboriginal scenario in a carnival type setting. We then unfortunately had to sit through the worst fire throwing show ever put on. The people throwing and juggling the fire kept dropping them and the whole thing was on a pitch black stage with no music or atmosphere, it was really bad. Just to get over it we had to buy ourselves a "make your own" slushy. The night as always was finished up by watching a fireworks show, they seriously have a fetish for them.
After having a few weeks of being a lady of luxury Melanie went and got herself a job, in fact two jobs.......wait there......... 3 jobs. After attending three interviews, Mel had three job offers. Now being spoilt for choice Mel decides to try out her jobs along the same lines as Goldilocks tries porridge. The first job she started as a temp and has since decided they are all incompetent (too hot). Her second job she turned down as the hours were silly (too cold), but she has since decided she might work there casually. The final job, which is being offered as a 6 month contract, she is yet to start but sounds just right.
When Mel attained the first job we decide on that weekend we would go out to celebrate. We headed off into the city early Saturday morning to Kings Park. We spent the day walking around the seemingly endless park. Later on we found out Kings Park is the largest inner city park in the world, and there was us thinking 'Cannon Hill' was the biggest!!!!!
So we milled around the park for most of the day taking in the extraordinary views of the city. We then meandered down to the riverside where we came across the Bell Tower. The Bell Tower is Perth's version of Big Ben; they even advertise it as such. "They have Big Ben, we have Big Bells!!" being their tagline of choice. Now as taglines go, it isn't the best. That accolade goes to the 1988 film "Cocktail" starring a roguish Tom Cruise....When he pours, he reigns!!!! Anyway I digress, back to the Bell Tower, we looked at it, and it was lovely. We are going to venture up it at some point, probably when we have visitors.
- Perth Fact:
Early astronauts dubbed Perth as 'The City of Lights' since its bright lights stood out on our planet earth.
On the evening we headed off to Northbridge, Perth's drinking district, which is currently hosting the 'Fringe World Festival'. Now this isn't a festival for people who choose to style their hair a certain way, it's a celebration of niche acts and newcomers to the world of music, comedy and entertainment. The festival has been running for a few weeks now and there are venues dotted all about the city in the strangest of places.
We were heading to the top of a car park where they had constructed a Circus Big Top. The geniuses among you won't find it hard to figure out what we were going to see. Zap Circus was run by two very peculiar people, Rusty and Annabelle. They showcased lots of different circus stunts and tricks, juggling knives over a man's crotch, contortions, nail in the face, fire eating, all the circusy type things most would expect. They did it all with an intentional awkwardness designed to keep the audience weary of their motives. Overall it really was fun and a great way to pass the evening; we even had a few drinks served from a caravan!!!
That pretty much brings us up to this weekend. It was a bank holiday here and our local park put on a concert. It was a family oriented event with a BYO (Bring your own) policy, so it basically gave parents a free day of getting pissed in a park while their kids ran riot. The concert started in the early evening. We got there early with our picnic of beer and mini pizzas to do a bit of sunbathing; we even had a great spot set up, with a immense view of the stage. Sods law reared his ugly head and placed a large lady in front of us 5 minutes into the concert (there's a picture). She parked her big ass in a pop up chair next to her friend's picnic blanket, right in the sweet spot of the stage. Inside we were boiling with rage, however we got over it as soon as the acts started. Mainly local bands played the stage and the 'headliners' were a band lead by a front man in leather trousers. He mercilessly butchered the hell out of every song he sung while dancing like Right Said Fred. It was cringe worthy stuff. What made it all the more enjoyable to watch however was the amount of pissed up 40 something mom's dancing like it was the 80s all over again. Ladies take a bow, you made the evening!!!
As the evening turned to night the concert finished the only way the Aussie like to finish things, with a fireworks show! This one was actually really good and it lasted like 20 minutes, which for fireworks is great. We vowed there and then to have a fireworks party when we're back, so hold us to it.
- Perth Fact:
The longest name for a place in Perth is Ngangaguringguring Hill.
And that's pretty much our time in Perth so far. ..........................................
Hold up!! What about the 'Everything in WA wants to kill you!!!' mentioned in the Blog title I hear you ask??? Well that brings us nicely on to Harry the Huntsman.
Before we talk about Harry it is worth mentioning the other beasts we encounter on a daily basis. These include ants the size of toy cars bench pressing boulders, Cockroaches prowling the streets at night looking to assault old Grannies and Crows squawking so loud it drowns out oncoming traffic. These however pale insignificance to the jellyfish that decided to sting Declan while he was enjoying a leisurely after work dip in the Indian Ocean one afternoon. We have yet to see the crocs and sharks that also prowl the waters of Western Australia but the Sharkcopter is out every weekend scouting the waters of our local beach.
Sharks and crocs however are easily avoided, they are quite large and we know where they live. What we were not expecting was a visit from a huntsman spider in our apartment one evening. Now our apartment is sealed off in every way to keep insects out, we have one of the special insect screen doors that are commonplace in Oz in front of our actual front door, and all our windows have insect screens on as well. With our 'prison' like protection from insects imagine our surprise when we left the sofa to find our bedroom had been invaded by a tarantula sized spider. (see Picture)
After the screams had died down it dawned on us that it had to be removed from the flat. Frantically we googled Aussie spiders and after finding out it wasn't poisonous we breathed a sigh of relief. Huntsman spiders are not dangerous, but how could we not be scared of them when they have been given the name Hunts... Man....! Surely there has to be something to that!!!
The Google info gave us this:
The bite of Huntsman Spiders is of low risk to humans. Huntsman spiders are a non-aggressive group of spiders. They are very timid and will try to avoid humans ,and when encountered can move at lightning-fast speed to escape contact. However, a large individual can give a painful bite. Some types of Huntsman have been known to give a bite resulting in sweating, nausea and vomiting, even death!!
Now I have underlined and bolded the key things in that section to highlight the perilous situation we found ourselves in one Sunday evening. The 'even death!!' part is a lie and added for dramatic effect. Anyway back to the spider it was really BIG, not being dramatic this time, it can give a painful bite and the lightning-fast speed is not an exaggeration either. The bad boy taking up half our wall was super quick, after blowing on him from a distance he shot into the corner of wall without hesitation. We were now flummoxed as how we were going to catch him. I say we, the person standing on the bed had no intention of going anywhere near it. We couldn't hit it with a shoe, for a start there isn't a shoe in the world big enough to kill it and secondly he'd see it coming, he has 8 eyes, and all of them look shifty. We had also ruled out sucking him up with the Hoover as we would then have to chuck it out and buy a new one, for fear of him crawling out the end of it. A glass and some paper wouldn't cut the mustard here either. The only option was to use a salad bowl!
Once he had been shifted into the middle of the wall he was quickly trapped inside the salad bowl. The huntsman wasn't the only thing in the room with lightning fast speed !!! With the Huntsman now trapped another problem arose, we didn't have anything large enough to slide underneath; even a folded out magazine wouldn't cover the circumference of the salad bowl. We ended up using the large door mat, which as you can imagine was a b***** to get under the bowl and even harder to walk out the door with. Outside and down a flight of stairs the bowl and the mat are now on the floor, the bowl is flicked off and rolls down the kerb. The huntsman however doesn't want to leave the bowl and after essentially being kicked halfway up the highway eventually jumps out and shoots off into a bush. After what seemed like hours the whole situation was resolved and we could finally go to bed.
Neither of us slept that night as our minds frantically wondered how he had got into the flat in the first place and whether he would ever return!!!
Hope you enjoyed this read.
Stay classy San Diego!!!
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